"I can read you your rights, or you can listen to your rights on tape."
Tags:rights, miranda rights, reading rights, read you your rights, police, policeman, police officer, police officers, arrest, arresting, arrested, perp, perpetrator, criminal, criminals, suspect, suspects, reading, read, reading aloud, read aloud, audiobooks, audiobook, tape, tapes, recording, recording, lazy, laziness, absurd, absurdist, listen, listening
"This date isn't going well, is it?"
Tags:date, dating, dates, dinner, dine, dinners, meals out, eating out, restaurant, restaurants, castle, castles, first date, first dates, turret, turrets, arrow, arrows, bow, bows, bow and arrow, firing, shooting, shoots, bad, badly, going well, isn't going well, absurd, absurdist, castle on head, head, heads, signal, signals, soldier, guard, soldiers, guards
Unskilled Musicians' Marching Band
Tags:musician, musicians, marching band, marching bands, drums, drummers, drummer, band, bands, parade, parades, march, marches, music, parading, performing, performance, unskilled musician, unskilled musicians, onomatopoeia, onomatopoeias, onomatopoeia band, bad band, bad bands, bad musician, bad musicians, missing the point, missed the point, absurd, absurdist
"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"
"Great-now I'm gonna be suspicious of every poodle I meet."
Tags:robbed, rob, robbery, robbers, daylight robbery, armed robbery, armed robber, burglar, burglary, gun, guns, gunman, gunmen, stick em up, stick 'em up, criminal, criminals, unlikely, suspect, suspicious, poodle, poodles, mugger, mugged, absurd, absurdist, dog, dogs, domestic, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners
Jesus snowblows a cloud.
The Potato Man
Tags:potato, potatoes, tuber, tubers, ireland, irish, invert, inverted, subvert, subverted, subversion, play on words, word play, word-play, ice cream truck, sweet, sweets, candy, candies, treat, treats, food, foods, snacks, snack, snacking, shop, shopping, vendor, street vendor, street vendors, kid, kids, child, childhood, children, alternate, alternate universe, absurdist
"At the bottom of the ocean – why, where are you?"
Tags:phone call, phone calls, call, calls, calling, caller, callers, bad signal, poor signal, cell phone signal, signal, sea, seas, ocean, oceans, ocean floor, ocean floors, sea floor, sea floors, swimming with the fishes, businessman, businessmen, business person, business people, fish, shark, sharks, crab, crabs, sea life, sea creature, sea creatures, absurd, absurdist
One afternoon on mars.
Tags:life on mars, life on earth, rock, rocks, martian, martians, alien, aliens, extraterrestrials, extraterrestrial, signs of life, sign of life, space, space exploration, exploring space, space travel, talking rock, talking rocks, geologist, geologists, geology, reverse, mirror world, absurd, absurdist
"Do you want a pinch of dinner."
"Shut up, Bob, everyone knows your parrot's clip-on."
Tags:meeting, meetings, business meeting, business meetings, business person, business people, businessperson, businesspeople, businessman, businessmen, fake, faking, pretend, pretending, clip on, clip on tie, clip on ties, parrot, parrots, bird, birds, shut up, be quiet, hostile, hostility, absurd, absurdist, everyone knows
"Who among us dares tempt the wrath of Ben & Jerry?"
A cow dressed as a catholic priest rings a bell.
"So now we deal mano a mano, as it were."
"That was one strange and confusing competition."
"As a phone, it's lousy, but I bet they're great deep-fried."
The hovering ghost of gum
"But we had stir-fry last night and the night before."
"What have you other than your bag of parrots?"
"He is a service dog – he's my accountant."
A hand emerges from a toothpaste tube
"Unsee the giant tongue
"We can't be the only three."