"I see you brought the pie charts."
"The whole fun of accounting was that willingness to suspend disbelief."
Tags:suspend disbelief, suspension of disbelief, accountant, accountants, accountancy, account, accounts, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeeping, book keeper, book keepers, book keeping, book-keeper, book-keepers, book-keeping, willing suspension of disbelief, critical faculties, critical faculty, gullibility, cooking the books
"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."
Tags:prison, prisoner, prisoners, white collar, white collar crime, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, corruption, corrupt, insider trading, inside trading, financial information, finances, cook the books, cooking the books, account, accounts, accounting, fraud, fraudulence, fraudulent, securities market, securities markets, sarbanes-oxley, sarbanes-oxley act, sox
"Tell me about your last accounting job."
Tags:interview, interviews, interviewing, employed, employee, employees, employer, working world, world of work, modern life, metaphor, metaphors, metaphorical, cookie from the cookie jar, cookie, cookies, cookie jar, cookie jars, account, accounts, accounting, accountant, accountants, fraud, frauds, fraudulent, caught, caught red-handed, caught redhanded, red-handed, bad reference, reference, references, fired, fire, fires, firing, laid off, lay-off, lay off, lay-offs, lay offs
"I've been selected to pay another electricity bill."
Tags:bill, bills, married life, marriage, married, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, finance, personal finance, finances, budget, budgets, budgetting, account, accounts, play on words, word play, word-play, mail, letter, letters, selected, been selected, electricity bill, home, homes, home ownership
"How could you forget to bring your receipts?"
"LinkedIn has finally paid off - it got me two new followers on Twitter."
Tags:social media, hierarchy, hierarchies, account, accounts, pay off, pays off, paying off, priority, priorities, prioritize, prioritizing, prioritise, prioritising, follower, followers, following, media page, media pages, self promote, self promotes, self promoting, self promotion, attention, attention seeker, attention seekers, attention seeking
"I feel like my best passwords are already behind me."
Tags:password, passwords, internet, internet problems, good ideas, best ideas, new ideas, running out of ideas, technology, privacy, internet privacy, security, internet security, protect, protection, new password, new passwords, forgotten password, forget password, modern life, modern problems, online, website, websites, internet password, internet passwords, computer, computers, computer password, computer passwords, writers block, writer's block, account, accounts
"Now is the part of the show when we ask the audience to shout out some random numbers."
Tags:theatre, theater, stage, stageshow, stage show, entertain, entertains, entertaining, entertainers, act, acting, actor, actors, actress, actresses, improv, improv comedy, improvised, improvising, obscure, complex, complicated, brain, brainiac, nerd, nerds, geek, geeks, convoluted, account, accountant, accountants, accounting, stand-up, stand-up comedy, stand up, stand up comedy, number, numbers, number crunching, spreadsheet, spreadsheets
"You wouldn't think there'd be much money in potatoes, chickens, and wood chopping, but it all adds up."
Tags:peasant, peasants, serf, serfs, serfdom, rural, rurals, sticks, medieval, mediveval times, historical, history, histories, account, accounts, accounting, accountants, accountant, chore, chores, class, money, save, saving, savings, farm, farming, farmer, farmers, honest, honest wage, honest wages, living in the past, clash, clashes, culture, cultural clash
"There's a thin line, J.B., between deniability and pig ignorant."
Tags:big business, big boss, fat cat, capitalism, venture capitalism, taking advantage, advantage, privilege, exec, execs, executive, executives, board, board room, board member, board members, financial crash, profiteering, unethical, immoral, amoral, deniability, plausible deniability, blame, shifting the blame, account, accounts, management, upper management, manager, managers, businessman, businessmen, business man, business men
Eighth Wonder Of The Financial WorldMt. Acct.
Tags:account, accounts, accounting, accountant, accountants, mount, mountain, peak, peaks, nature, natural beauty, unexpected, statue, monument, banal, boring, subject matter, choice, choices, wonder, wonder of the world, money, handling money, financial, financial world, finance, personal finance, finances
"Your Honor, on the first ballot the jury voted ten to two for conviction. For three emotionally charged hours, we discussed our points of difference. On the next ballot, it was seven to five for acquittal. Over the next several ballots, the vote seesawed back and forth. One juror became ill and was replaced by an alternate. By now, we had been in session for ten hours straight. Tempers were rising and some jurors were near the breaking point."
Tags:juror, jurors, jury, juries, jury duty, autobiography, autobiographies, account, accounts, verdict, verdicts, read the verdict, reading the verdicts, dramatic, reenact, reenactment, dramatic reading, dramatic readings, foreman, foreperson, foremen, forepeople, trial, trials, jury trial, jury trials, courtroom, courtrooms, judge, judges, criminal trial, criminal trials, discord
High Energy Accounts Only
Tags:bank, banks, banking, banker, bankers, account, accounts, accountant, accountants, customer, customers, queue, queues, line, lines, waiting, money, wealth, wealthy, rich, affluent, sign, signs, business, businesses, businessmen, businessperson, rich people, wealthy people, special treatment, different treatment
"I've hacked into our bank account."
"I don't get it—last time I jiggled the mouse this way we made a 16.45-per-cent profit."
Tags:profit, profits, tech, technological, computer, computers, stock, stocks, stock market, stocks and shares, share, shares, stock exchange, money, idiot, idiotic, playing the market, goof off, goofing off, goofed off, account, accounts, accounting, broker, brokers, accident, accidental, accidentally, profitable, profitability, stock broker, stock brokers, stockbroker, stockbrokers
"As we run down the figures, Mr. Fell will do the play-by-play, I will do the running commentary, and Mr. Russell will provide the color."
Tags:presentation, presentations, play-by-play, play by play, running commentary, stockholder, stockholders, meeting, meetings, graph, graphs, share, shares, management, managements, stockholder's meeting, stockholders meeting, investment, investments, investor, investors, profit, profits, account, accounts, accountancy department
"Finally the cat's away, and I get stuck with the Davidson account."
Tags:account, accounts, accountant, accountants, boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, managements, delegation, delegations, delegating, workload, workloads, expression, expressions, idiom, idioms, when the cat's away, the mice will play, while the cat's away, office job, office jobs, mouse, mice, overworked
"User name and password?"
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, afterlife, heaven, heaven's gate, entrance to heaven, st. peter's gate, saint peter's gate, pearly gates, st. peter, saint peter, entering heaven, angel, angels, technology, computer, computers, password, passwords, username, usernames, online, internet, account, accounts, website, websites, modern life
"Oh, that three billion dollars."
"Could you run those numbers by me again? I was thinking of an old love."
Tags:board meeting, board meetings, business meeting, business meetings, old love, old romance, old romances, romantic, romantics, distracted, distraction, distractions, lazy, laziness, unprofessional, professional, board member, board members, shirk, shirking, shirker, shirkers, account, accounts, paying attention, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs
"Accounting has really changed you, Razor-Face."
Tags:gang, gangs, thug, thugs, tattoo, tattoos, tattoo'd, gang member, gang members, crimes, criminal, criminals, street gang, street, streets, street gangs, accounting, accountant, account, accounts, accountancy, accountants, businessman, hair, haircut, mohawk, punk, punks, rocker, rockers, style, styles, change, changed, changing, adults, adulthood, growing up, growing
"I don't want you to cook the books, Bendlemen. I just want you to braise them a little."
Tags:management, upper management, big boss, boss, bosses, manager, managers, exec, execs, executive, executives, board, boardroom, chief exec, chief executive, chief executives, board member, class, working class, class issues, class divide, class struggle, class struggles, political issue, political issues, tax, taxes, fat cat, fat cats, profit, profits, profitable, profitability, nepotism, corrupt, corruption, financial, white collar crime, capitalism, capitalist, late stage capitalism, cook the books, account, accounts, accounting, white collar crime
"You've done some outstanding work in Public Relations, Benderman. Unfortunately, you work in Accounting.!
Tags:management, upper management, big boss, boss, bosses, manager, managers, exec, execs, executive, executives, board, boardroom, chief exec, chief executive, chief executives, board member, account, accounts, accounting, public relations, pr, p.r, p.r., p r, department, departmental, job description, job descriptions, duties, duty, responsible, responsibility, responsibilities, bureaucracy, bureaucrat, bureaucratic
"What's this I hear about large quanities of ice, fish, and small sea creatures being purchased by your department?"
Tags:penguin, penguins, strange, strange imagery, account, accounts, businessmen, business man, absurd, absurdity, ice, fish, luxuries, personal use, personal, reprimand, reprimanded, reprimanding, what do you expect, need, needs, want, wants, spend, spending, spent, outgoing, outgoings, department, departmental, departmental plan, plan, plans, planning, accounting, warning, warnings, management, upper management, office politics, rule, rules, necessities, access, accessibility, access needs, access requirements