"To be honest - I'm not sure that accounting can be taught."
Tags:accounting, accountant, accountants, skill, skills, talent, talents, talented, self-absorbed, ego, egotist, egotistical, egotists, teach, teaches, teaching, teacher, teachers, passion, passions, passion project, passion projects, condescend, condescends, condescending, sexist, misogyny, misogynist, misogynists
"We are neither hunters nor gatherers. We are accountants."
"If we're being honest, it was your decision to follow my recommendations that cost you money."
Tags:recommendation, recommendations, recommend, recommends, stock, stocks, stock market, stockbroker, stockbrokers, stock broker, stock brokers, broker, brokers, portfolio, portfolios, investor, investors, investment, investments, investing, investment advice, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advice, accountant, accounting, accounting firm, accounting firms
"It's the old story. I was in the middle of successful acting career when I was bitten by the accounting bug."
Tags:old story, old stories, acting career, acting careers, accounting, accountant, accountants, number cruncher, number crunchers, sexy jobs, glamour, glamorous, job, jobs, career, careers, actor, actors, switch careers, switching careers, cliche, cliches, cliched, math, maths, mathematics, acting bug
Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.
"Oh, what the hell, I'll add another zero."
Tags:ethics, accountant, accountants, accounting, accounts payable, accounts receivable, cook the books, cooking the books, bookkeeping, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, embezzle, embezzles, embezzling, corporate crime, corporate criminal, corporate criminals, white collar crime, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, creative accounting, mark to market
"Well, get some new numbers or I'm getting a new numbers guy."
Tags:number, numbers, numbers guy, numbers guys, accountant, accountants, accounting, creative accounting, creative accountant, creative accountants, yes man, yes men, boss, bosses, executive, executives, business executive, business executives, corporate mentality, corporate ladder, big corporation, big corporations
"Daddy doesn't know any magic tricks. Daddy knows accounting tricks."
Tags:accounting trick, accountant, accountants, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeeping, magician, magicians, career, careers, career path, career paths, magic act, magic acts, magic trick, magic tricks, white collar crime, white collar crimes, financial crime, financial crimes, kid, kids, dad, dads, father, fathers
"On the other hand, their accounting procedures are impeccable."
Tags:accountant, accounting, accountants, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, clients, client, business meeting, business meetings, interior design, interior designers, office design, office furniture, office furnishing, office art, art, modern art, contemporary art, art collection, art collections, corporate art, public art, office artwork, artwork, artworks, challenging art, eclectic art, eclectic taste, eclectic tastes, art critic, art critics, art gallery, art galleries, artist, artist, sculpture, sculptures, accountant office, accountant offices, pros and cons, decision, decisions
"It's like a business. Concentrate on the bottom lion."
Tags:circus, circuses, lion, lions, circus lion, circus lions, circus animal, circus animals, bottom line, the bottom line, lion tamer, lion tamers, ring master, ring masters, big business, big businesses, circus performer, circus performers, performing animal, performing animals, balancing act, balancing acts, accounting, accountant, accountants
"Remember, 'accounting' and 'accountability': nothing in common."
"I'm taking you off of the Henderson account and putting you into this steel drum."
Tags:steel drum, steel drums, demotion, demotions, demoted, demote, demotes, corporate ladder, business ladder, corporate culture, businessmen, businessman, office politics, promotional ladder, promotional ladders, big account, big accounts, office worker, office workers, lawyer, lawyers, accountant, accountants
Irish Step Accounting
Tags:accounting, accountant, accountants, dance, dances, dancing, irish dancer, irish dancers, irish step dancing, irish step dancer, irish step dancers, tap dancer, tap dancers, tap dancing, creative accounting, cook the books, cooking the books, tax, taxes, tax form, tax forms, number cruncher, number crunchers, tax day, tax return, tax returns
"I'm a Schedule D kind of guy with a little Schedule E thrown in."
Tags:schedule d, schedule e, accountant, accountants, accounting, 1040, 1040 form, 1040 forms, investor, investors, asset, assets, broke, lose money, loses money, losing money, investment, investments, broker, brokers, stockbroker, stockbrokers, tax return, tax returns, penniless, loss, losses, financial loss, financial losses, hedge fund, hedge funds, hedge fund manager, hedge fund managers, tax season, taxes, filing taxes, personality type, personality types, date, dates, dinner date, dinner dates, insolvent, insolvency
Accountants just want to have fun...
Tags:accountant, accountants, accounting, math, maths, math problem, maths problem, math problems, maths problems, mathematics, silly, silliness, goof around, goofs around, goofing around, conservative, conservatives, conservatism, lifestyle, lifestyles, straight-laced, sense of humor, senses of humor, humor, humour, sense of humour, senses of humour, serious, seriousness, equation, equations, goof off, goofs off, goofing off, mathematician, mathematicians, mathematical
"This is great! It's shaping up like it could be another huge tax writeoff for the boss."
Tags:trump campaign, donald trump, president trump, president donald trump, tax, taxes, tax return, tax returns, write off, write offs, written off, writing off, fraud, tax fraud, trump campaign, donald trump campaigns, tax cheat, tax cheats, cheat, cheats, irs, internal revenue service, accountant, accountants, personal accountant, personal accountants
"I see you brought the pie charts."
"We need to investigate a stupidity cluster in accounting."
Tags:investigate, investigates, investigation, investigations, accountant, accounting, accounting department, accounting departments, books, cooked books, incompetence, incompetent, corporation, corporations, colleague, colleagues, mistake, mistakes, accident, accidents, careless, carelessness, malfeasance, corporate malfeasance
"As it happened, my work as an accountant transcended the genre."
"I never should have tried to take my accounting to the next level."
Alternative Dickens: Scrooge Is Audited.
Tags:scrooge, ebenezer scrooge, dickens, charles dickens, alternative dickens, audit, audits, auditor, auditors, write-off, write-offs, written off, greed, greedy, greediness, accountant, accountants, accounting, personal accountant, personal accountants, christmas carol, christmas, miser, misers, miserly, stingy
"When I listen to Mozart, the numbers just seem to crunch themselves."
Tags:mozart, wolfgang amadeus, number cruncher, number crunchers, number crunching, numbers, accountant, accounting, accounts receivable, accounts payable, study, studies, studying, classical music, studying music, concentrate, concentrates, concentration, concentrating, effort, effortless, time flies
"Being an accountant gives him that extra aura of danger."
Tags:accountant, accountants, accountancy, accounting, offices, office job, office jobs, office work, office worker, office workers, desk job, desk jobs, boring job, boring jobs, bad job, bad jobs, job satisfaction, attractive, attractiveness, attractions, women talking about men, man of mystery, attractive man, attractive men, unattractive, attractiveness
"He's illuminating something called 'The Book of Billable Hours.'"
Tags:monk, monks, monastery, monasteries, cleric, clerics, scribe, scribes, illuminated manuscript, illuminated manuscripts, manuscript, manuscripts, billable hour, billable hours, accountant, accountants, accountant, accountants, illustrated manuscript, illustrated manuscripts, medieval text, book, books, medieval texts, payable hours