Addict Cartoons

"I'm starting to really like the smell of cocaine."

Angels shopping in a store called "Heaven Pharmacy: Self-serve"

"OMG! I just got born!"

"I'm worried. He's lost interest in absolutely everything except the Stamford Mall."

"You should just feel a tiny prick, and then a lifetime of morphine addiction."

Women who Read Too Much

"Forget it, Josh – neither of us has the time management skills for a sordid affair."

"How do I know you're not going to turn around and spend it on eggnog?"

Man opens his medicine cabinet to find two pill bottles with ancient Greek comedy and tragedy masks on them

"The dreams of avarice are coming back."

Suckling piglets watching television on mother's back

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"It's eBay fever - we'll have to pull the plug!"

"I wish I'd never bought Harold that 3-D printer."

"Nowadays, Hal is ninety-nine per cent caffeine-free."

Woman looking at a sign in a pharmacy that says "Staff Picks"

"Everybody thinks I'm in rehab."

"Please turn on your cell phones."

"Ever since I gave up coffee I feel a lot less jittery."

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

Dowsing for Coffee

"Were you referred to us by your doctor or publicist?"

"I love these quiet evenings at home battling alcoholism."

"And if things don't work out in the big city, Cindy, you can always come back home to me and Mom and our nightmare descent into booze and pills."

"Luckily, our retirement funds are entirely in double lattes."