Addicts Cartoons

"I'm starting to really like the smell of cocaine."

Angels shopping in a store called "Heaven Pharmacy: Self-serve"

"OMG! I just got born!"

"I'm worried. He's lost interest in absolutely everything except the Stamford Mall."

"You should just feel a tiny prick, and then a lifetime of morphine addiction."

Women who Read Too Much

"Forget it, Josh – neither of us has the time management skills for a sordid affair."

"How do I know you're not going to turn around and spend it on eggnog?"

Man opens his medicine cabinet to find two pill bottles with ancient Greek comedy and tragedy masks on them

"The dreams of avarice are coming back."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"I wish I'd never bought Harold that 3-D printer."

Woman looking at a sign in a pharmacy that says "Staff Picks"

"Please turn on your cell phones."

"Ever since I gave up coffee I feel a lot less jittery."

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

Dowsing for Coffee

"Were you referred to us by your doctor or publicist?"

"I love these quiet evenings at home battling alcoholism."

"And if things don't work out in the big city, Cindy, you can always come back home to me and Mom and our nightmare descent into booze and pills."

"You can't compete with a retired pharmacist."

"I'm in the Maclaren, where are you?"

"Can you spare a few megabytes of your precious time?"

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"