"Look, I can't promise I'll change, but I can promise I'll pretend to change."
"I'll never forget where I'm telling wife I was that day."
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affair, affairs, adulterer, adulterers, infidelity, unfaithfulness, wife, wives, husband, husbands, married life, married lives, marriages, mistresses, liar, liars, lie, lies, lying, schedule, getting caught, caught out, deception, deceptions, dishonest, dishonesty"So I like rutting. So sue me."
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rut, rutting, ruts, adulterers, promiscuous, promiscuity, philander, philanderer, philanderers, arrogance, arrogant, mate, mates, reproduce, reproduction, season, in season, deer, deers, doe, does, relationship, relationships, fight, fighting, fights, antler, antlers, horn, horns"Why can't you be more like little Hester Prynne? She's getting straight A's."
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hawthorne, nathaniel hawthorne, report cards, report card, grade, grades, bad grade, bad grades, english teacher, english teachers, teacher, teachers, literature, american literature, american lit, schools, the scarlet letter, puritans, education, children, parents, history, olden days, puritan, adulterer, adulterers, jealous, jealousy, high standards, ambitious, ambitiousness, ambition, ambitions"How can you feel threatened by someone young enough to be your sullen, uncommunicative daughter?"
"Buzz off! That was only till death us did part."
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couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, long term relationship, long term relationship, long-term relationships, bad relationship, bad relationships, marital fight, marital fights, domestic, domestics, domestic argument, domestic arguments, spousal dispute, spousal disputes, cheat, cheater, cheaters, infidelity, two timing, two timer, two timers, extramarital, extramarital affairs, affair, affairs, adulterer, adulterers, unfaithfulness, marital vow, marital vows, marriage vows, till death us do part"I know what you're thinking, but let me offer a competing narrative."
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cheat, adulterer, adulterers, cheat, cheaters, infidelity, infidelities, cheats, cheater, adulterer, adulterers, its not what it looks like, relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, let me explain, explain, explaining, cliche, cliches, saying, saying, married, marry, narrative, narrative, sympathy, lie, lies, liar, liars"Well, pardon me for living!"
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cheat, cheater, cheaters, infidelity, two timing, two timer, two timers, extramarital, extramarital affairs, affair, affairs, adulterer, adulterers, bad relationship, bad relationships, marital fight, marital fights, domestic, domestics, domestic argument, domestic arguments, spousal dispute, spousal disputes, unfaithfulness, disappointment, disappointments, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, long term relationship, long term relationship, long-term relationships"Forget it, Josh – neither of us has the time management skills for a sordid affair."
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affair, affairs, office romance, office romances, workaholic, workaholics, addict, addicts, addicted, time management, time management skill, time management skills, sordid affair, cheat, cheats, cheater, cheaters, practical, practicality, impractical, impracticality, workplace, workplaces, adulterer, adulterers, infidelity, sneak around, sneaks around, sneaking around"I'm sure that when you're ready you'll tell me what you've done with my wife."
"Oh, all right, dear. For the sake of argument, let's say there is another woman, whom I'll call Muffy."
"I thought that while he's in there brushing his teeth it would be a good opportunity for us to talk."
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brush teeth, brushes teeth, brushing teeth, toothbrush, toothbrushes, serpent, serpents, garden of eden, cheat, cheats, cheater, cheaters, tempt, tempts, tempting, temptations, adulterer, adulterers, tree of knowledge, fruit of knowledge, adam, eve, adam & eve, bible story, bible stories, original sin, sins, sinning"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."
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relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, cheat, cheater, cheaters, adulterer, adulterers, affair, affairs, love affair, friend, friends, gossip, gossiping, gossiper, gossipers, cocktail party, cocktail parties, party, parties, mental health, mental illness, mentally ill, multiple personality, multiple personalities, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends"Now, you wait right here while I go ask my wife for a divorce."
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party, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties, bad timing, badly timed, poor timing, poorly timed, divorce, divorces, getting divorced, insensitive, insensitivity, drink, drinks, getting a drink, getting drinks, host, hosts, good host, good hosts, cheat, cheater, cheaters, infidelity, two timing, two timer, two timers, extramarital, extramarital affairs, affair, affairs, adulterer, adulterers"I feel like Doris is divorcing me for all the wrong reasons."
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divorce, divorces, divorcing, walk out, walks out, walking out, split up, splitting up, wrong reason, wrong reasons, second-guess, second-guesses, second-guessing, mansplain, mansplains, mansplaining, divorce court, reason, reasons, cheater, cheaters, adulterer, adulterers, ex--husband, ex-wife, ex-wives"You just missed her."
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affair, affairs, cheat, cheats, cheater, cheaters, one night stand, one night stands, sneak out, sneaks out, sneaking out, wife, wives, sneak, sneaks, sneaking, adulterer, adulterers, philander, philanders, philanderer, philanderers, missed phone call, missed phone calls, phone message, phone messagesIn the middle of a shoot-out
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stand-off, stand-offs, stand off, stand offs, shoot out, shoot outs, shoot-out, shoot-outs duel, duelling, duels, cheat, cheater, cheaters, infidelity, two timing, two timer, two timers, extramarital, extramarital affairs, affair, affairs, adulterer, adulterers, unfaithfulness, caught in the middle, bystander, bystander, innocent bystander, innocent bystanders, face off, face offs, face-off, face-offs"Damn, you are smooth."
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cheat, cheats, cheater, cheaters, infidelity, infidelities, smooth, smooth character, smooth characters, slick character, slick characters, unsuspecting, unsuspecting husband, unsuspecting husbands, husband, husbands, wife, wives, three-way, three-ways, menage a trois, adulterer, adulterers, pay attention, paying attention, inattentive, bookworm, bookworms, loser, losers"I knew you were having an affair with your car!"
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cheat, cheater, cheaters, infidelity, two timing, two timer, two timers, extramarital, extramarital affairs, affair, affairs, adulterer, adulterers, car, cars, auto, autos, automobile, automobile, caught red handed, car enthusiast, car enthusiasts, motorist, motorists, car fanatic, car fanatics"Sure, the dish ran away with me, but then she left me for a melon baller."
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nursery rhymes, nursery rhymes, dish and spoon, the dish and the spoon, the dish ran away with the spoon, cutlery, silverware, cheat, cheater, cheaters, affair, affairs, elope, elopement, eloping, two timer, two timers, two timing, adulterer, adulterers, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, bad relationship, bad relationships, hey diddle diddle, melon ball, melon balls, melon baller, melon ballers, replaced, replacement"It's not what it looks like. The sex is horrible, and we're miserable."
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cheat, cheats, cheater, cheaters, infidelity, adulterer, adulterers, divorce, divorcing, husband, husbands, wife, wives, relationship, relationships, couple, couples, spouses, spouse, marriage, married, caught, caught red handed