"I'm starting to really like the smell of cocaine."
Tags:cocaine, dog, dogs, airport security, security animal, security animals, tsa, drug, drug-sniffing, drug-sniffing dog, drug detection, k-9, k9, k-9 unit, k-9 units, k9 unit, k9 units, sniff, sniffs, sniffing, addiction, addictions, addictive, snort, snorts, snorting, coke, addict, addicts, addiction, addictions, narcotic, narcotics, law enforcement
"Why didn't you bring a cardigan or lightweight jacket?"
Tags:cardigan, cardigans, fashion, fashions, clothes, clothing, luggage, suitcase, suit case, pack, packed, packing, travel, travelling, travelling light, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, tourism, airport, airports, airport security, security, tsa, customs, customs official, officials, bureaucracy, just following the rules, following the rules, nosy, nosiness, search, searching, mess, messy, comment, judging, judging, secure, secured, underpack, overpack, under packed, over packed, under prepare, under prepared, over prepare, over prepared, be prepared, preparation, planning, planned, plan ahead, plan
"I can get you to San Francisco through Dallas via Atlanta, but we'd have to take a kidney right here and now."
"It's a boy!"
Tags:metal detector, metal detectors, scanner, scanners, scanning, scan, scans, full-body scan, full-body scans, full-body scanner, full-body scanners, boy, boys, girl, girls, pregnancy, pregnancies, ultrasound, ultrasounds, gender reveal, gender reveals, invasive, invasion of privacy, invasions of privacy, airport security, tsa, tsa agent, tsa agents, airport, airports, frequent flyer, frequent flyers
"Yeah, but it doesn't smell like a bomb!"
Tags:airport, airports, airport security, security, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, safety, bomb, bombs, sniffer dog, sniffer dogs, security dog, security dogs, bomb dog, bomb dogs, luggage, baggage, border control, customs, officer, officers, screening officer, screening officers, screening, security screening, scan, scanning, scanner, protect, protection, dog handler, dog handlers, explosive, explosives, ineffective, useless, incompetent, air travel, transportation, flying, tsa, tsa agent, agent, tsa officer, transportation security officer, transportation security administration, homeland security, department of homeland security, screening equipment, bomb detection, canine, canines, terror, terrorism
"Did you leave your bag unattended or trade your cow for magic beans?"
Tags:airport, airports, airport security, nothing to declare, contraband, contraband items, aeroplane, aeroplanes, aiplane, airplanes, travel, travelling, travellers, customs, border control, border protection, jack and the beanstalk, giant beanstalk, jack and the giant beanstalk, jack and the magic beanstalk, fairy tale, fairy tales, unattended luggage, unattended bag, unattended bags, unattended baggage, luggage, bag, bags, bagg, security guard, security guards, age, hold luggage, cabin luggage, law enforcement, law enforcer, federal law enforcement, illegal item, illegal items, smuggling, smuggler, accident, accidental, mistake, biologicals, banned biologicals, agricultural permit, agricultural permits
"O.K., you're good. Next!"
Tags:therapy, therapist, therapists, counselor, conselors, counseling, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, airport, airports, air travel, air travelling, security, plane travel, airport security, metal detectors, metal detectors, queue, queuing, wait in line, waiting in line, terrorists, terrorism, mental assessment, mental assessments
Tags:airport, airports, airport security, air travel, air traffic, tsa, tsa agent, tsa agents, hassle, hassles, hassling, crime prevention, inconvenient, inconvenience, inconveniences, air travel, airplane, airplanes, frequent flyer, frequent flyers, traveler, travelers, traveling, traveller, travellers, travelling, prevent crime, prevents crime, preventing crime, security theater, security theatre
"For your comfort, you will be searched by someone of your own level of sexiness."
Tags:airport, airports, air travel, flying, airport security, screening, screenings, scanner, scanners, metal detector, metal detectors, detector, detectors, officer, officers, safety, protection, security, tsa, t.s.a, transport security administration, department of homeland security, pat down, pat downs, pat-down, pat-downs, physical screening, physical screenings, search, searches, security check, security checks, beauty, attractiveness, level, levels, comfort, comfortable, customer service, service
Tags:myth, myths, mythology, mythological, mythologies, legend, legends, greek myth, roman myth, greek myths, roman myths, baggage, tsa, bags, luggage, luggages, security, airport security, airline, airport, airports, travels, travelling, security x ray, x ray, x-ray, security x-ray, pandora, pandora's box, pandoras box, privacy, private, personal privacy
"You're free to go, sir. But, seriously, I'd get that prostate looked at."
"You can pack this back up now."
Tags:airport, airports, airport security, security, protection, safety, luggage, baggage, customs, tsa, t.s.a., transportation security administration, department of homeland security, us customs and border protection, officer, officers, scanner, scanners, metal detector, metal detectors, detector, detectors, screening, screenings, security screening, security screening, unpacked, destroyed, packing, tourism, travel, air travel
Caribbean Airport Security
Tags:limbo, dance, dancing, dancer, dancers, danced, talent, talented, talents, airport, airports, metal detector, metal detectors, security, security guard, security guards, security screening, customs, immigration, immigrants, travel, travler, travelers, travellers, traveller, traveled, travelled, traveling, travelling, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, airport security, fly, flying, airplane, aeroplane, airplanes, aeroplanes, frequent flyer, frequent flyers, credit card, credit card miles, sky miles, flying credit, tropical, tropics, beach, beaches, island, islands
Revealing Airport Security
Tags:airport, airports, airport security, airport security guard, airport security guards, security guard, security guards, x ray, x ray machine, x ray machines, x-ray, x-ray machine, x-ray machines, body scan, full body scan, body scans, full body scans, scanner, scanners, embarrassment, embarrassed, humiliation, humiliated, public humiliation, publicly humiliated, teddy bear, teddy bears, air travel, plane travel, flying, passenger, passengers
Tags:alien, aliens, extraterrestrial, extraterrestrial, little green men, little green man, martian, martians, ufo, ufos, alien spaceship, alien spaceships, abductions, abductions, alien abduction, alien abductions, security, security check, security checks, airport security, metal detector, metal detectors, frequent flyer, frequent flyers, unidentified flying object, alien experiment, alien experiments
"Are you carrying currency or monetary instruments of $ 10,000 U.S. or foreign equivelant?"
Tags:pearl gates, pearly gates, gates of heaven, heaven, afterlife, the afterlife, st.peter, st peter, saint peter, judgement, judgement day, dying, died, security check, security checks, airport security, security guard, security guards, currency, cash, monetary instrument, monetary instruments, discrimnate, discrimnation, rich person, rich people, the one percent, the 1 percent, wealth divide, wealth gap
"I'm not talking about your Abominable Snowman, mister—I'm talking about that diamond tiara!"
Tags:abominable snowman, yeti, yetis, bigfoot, smuggle, smuggles, smuggling, smuggler, smugglers, tiara, tiaras, diamond, diamonds, jewel, jewels, jewelry, jewellery, airport, airports, airport security, customs, customs officer, customs officers, u.s. customs, suspicious, suspiciousness, profile, profiles, profiling, valuable, valuables, crown, crowns
A metal detector with mistletoe
"Please remove shoes, jackets, anything metal."
Tags:punk, punks, body ornament, body ornaments, body piercing, body piercings, piercing, piercings, fashion statement, fashion statements, fashionable, metal detector, metal detectors, airport, airports, air travel, security guard, security guards, security procedure, security procedures, airport security, air travel
"I'm afraid I'll have to fondle that chicken, m'am."
"It really is flour."
MRI Airport Security
Just be cool... just be cool...
"We'll need to declaw the cat."
"All my luggage arrived, but I left my shoes at security back in Cleveland."