"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."
Tiny Tim, who did not die, grows up to marry Little Nell, who did not die, either.
The Barbarian At the Villiage Gate
Tags:metal, metalhead, metalheads, punk, punks, modern life, metal music, music, youth, barbarian, barbarians, rebel, rebels, bad boy, bad boys, nightclub, nightclubs, club, clubs, new york, new york city, nyc, musician, musicians, alternative, alternative rock, rocker, rockers, punk rock, punk rocker, punk rockers
"Would you like that all in money?"
Tags:seder, seders, passover, passovers, passover seder, judaism, jewish, jews, jew, torah, torahs, candy, candies, chocolate, chocolates, parody, parodying, alternative, holiday, holidays, celebration, celebrates, celebrate, hebrew, feast, feasts, represent, represents, representing, symbol, symbols, symbolism, food, foods, religion, religions, home, family, families, shpasik, jtoons
A crowded expressway with two signs; one reads "Cross City Expressway" the other reads "Viable Alternative".
Tags:car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driving, driver, drivers, transportation, traffic, traffic jam, traffic jams, rush hour, gridlock, crowded, busy, highway, highways, expressway, expressways, motorway, motorways, problem, problems, lane, lanes, sign, signs, signage, road sign, road signs, exit, exits, alternative route, alternative routes, alternative, alternatives, viable, city, cities, urban, no escape, modern life
"Now we wait."
"Couldn't I do a couple of hundred hours of community service instead?"
"We'll never be able to keep up with the neighbors, but what if something bad were to happen to the neighbors?"
Tags:competition, competitive, community, communities, keep up, pressure, peer pressure, neighbors, neighbours, neighbor, neighbours, neighborhood, neighborhoods, sinister, alternative, alternatives, threat, threatening, bad, kill, assassinate, assassinates, kills, over the top, ott, too far, serious, overly serious, pressures, inferior, inferiority complex
"I'm a green thief."
Tags:robberies, robbery, robberies, b, robber, robbers, thief, thieves, stick-up, stick-ups, hold-up, hold-ups, stickup, stickups, holdup, holdups, mugging, muggings, mugger, muggers, criminal, criminals, street crime, weapon, weapons, crossbow, crossbows, bow, bows, arrow, arrows, bow and arrow, archery, archer, archers, green, alternative, environmentally friendly, going green, eco-friendly, environment, better for the environment, bicycle, bicycles, bike, bikes, get-away, get-away vehicle, get-away vehicles, getaway vehicle, getaway vehicles, get-away vehicle, transportation, green transportation
"If you are still unhappy with your current allowance compensation, may I once more suggest to you a life of crime."
Tags:money, compensation, compensate, payment, reward, pay, pocket money, allowance, spending money, extra money, cash, change, coins, coin, small change, small fry, children, child, parent, parents, father, fathers, sons, son, ungrateful, spoilt, spoilt rotten, spoiled, gratitude, thankful, appreciative, earnings, earn, work, alternatives, alternative, rob, pinch, borrow, beg, steal, thief, small crimes, small money, unhappy, unhappiness, get a job, gets a job, getting a job, criminal, criminals, criminality, expectation, expectations, social expectation, social expectations
"I don't have a bedtime story - how about a bedtime joke or anecdote?"
"It's the best thing since bread torn into little pieces."
Tags:hard truth, truth, truths, difficult truths, difficult truth, hard truths, honest, honesty, cat call, cat-call, cat calling, cat-calling, catcalling, wolf whistle, wolf whistling, wolf-whistle, wolf-whistling, harass, harassment, harassed, harassing, politically correct, political correctness, pc, p c, modern life, modern, modernity, life without, men, women, man, woman, inversion, invert, subvert, subverted, hard facts, alternative, alternatives
Crowd Holds Out Bowls Of Water For Sled Dogs Running Marathon
Tags:sled, sledding, sleds, sled dog, dog, dogs, working dog, working dogs, mush, mush mush, husky, huskies, malamute, malamutes, regions, region, regional, regional customs, custom, customs, weather, winter, wintery, snow, snowing, transport, alternative, alternatives, traditional, traditionally, pet, pets, running, run, runner, runners, race, races, racing, marathon, marathons, sport, sports
"We have an arrangement."
Sled Dogs Instead Of City Bikes
Tags:bike, bikes, bicycle, bicycles, cycle, cycles, cycling, sled, sledding, sleds, sled dog, dog, dogs, working dog, working dogs, kiosk, kiosks, mush, mush mush, husky, huskies, malamute, malamutes, regions, region, regional, regional customs, custom, customs, weather, winter, wintery, snow, snowing, transport, alternative, alternatives, traditional, traditionally, pet, pets, exchange, exchanged, tech, technological, technology
"I said the National Endowment for the Arts is offering you a hundred and fifty thousand dollars to lie fallow for a year."
Tags:art, artist, artists, paint, painting, paintings, painter, painters, punk, punks, goth, goths, gothic, alternative, modern art, art museum, art museums, gallery, galleries, art exhibition, art exhibit, art exhibits, fallow, dormant, relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, girlfriends, boyfriend, boyfriends
"You're in for a treat—Gregor awoke this morning from uneasy dreams to find himself transformed into a killer tapas chef."
"If memory serves, the alternative to being a McGovern-nik was being a Nixon-nik."
Tags:mcgovern, nixon, election '72, 1972, president, presidential election, presidential elections, choice, choices, option, options, bad choice, bad choices, candidate, candidates, presidential candidate, presidential candidates, bad bunch, best of a bad bunch, corrupt, corruption, voter, voters, voting, alternative, alternatives
Free Ideas for Alternative Fuels
Tags:free, free idea, free ideas, idea, ideas, innovation, alternative, alternatives, fuel, fuels, fossil fuel, fossil fuels, gas, gasoline, petrol, going green, recycling, tap water, water, air, catalogue, catalogues, newspaper, newspapers, paper, papers, magazine, magazines, converter, converters, air pressure, obvious, steam engine, steam engines, good for the environment, environmentally friendly, eco, eco-friendly, environment, green, clean energy, renewable energy, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, green energy, energy, clean, global warming, climate change
Howard Schultz tests his centrist messaging.
Tags:centrist, centrists, moderate, moderates, moderate candidate, moderate candidates, presidential run, presidential runs, billionaire, billionaires, howard schultz, alternative, president, presidents, third party, third parties, presidential candidate, presidential candidates, tax reform, taxes, ceo, ceos
"I'm sorry, Jeannie, your answer was correct, but Kevin shouted his incorrect answer over yours, so he gets the points."
Tags:facts, fact, true, truth, shout, shouting, loud, loudest, ignorant, ignorance, ignoring, arrogant, arrogance, politics, political, discourse, political discourse, discussion, discussion, discussed, post-truth, alternative facts, alternative, alternative fact, fake news, fake-news, lies, lied, game, game show, game-show, game shows, quiz, quizzes, absurd, parallel, parallels
"Are you pretty good with your fists?"
Tags:fighting, fights, fight, holiday, holidays, vacation, vacations, summer vacation, fist, fists, fisticuffs, punch, punches, punching, violent, violence, travel bureau, travel bureaus, travel agent, travel agent, travel agents, travelling, travel, travels, travel agency, unusual, alternative, odd, dangerous, danger, dangers, good with fists, good with their fists
"Well, folks, it looks as if Ole Mich is really getting trounced by those Reds.
Tags:bad news, college football, football, football fan, football fans, american football, perspective, perspective shift, perspective shifts, change channels, changing channels, alternate reality, alternate realities, alternative, alternatives, free market, free markets, choice, choices, option, options, trounced, beat, beaten