"Attention passengers. Flight 369 has been cancelled due to our desire to ruin your life."
Tags:air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, traveler, travelers, travellers, travellers, passenger, passengers, flight, flights, flying, canceled, cancelled, desire, desires, wish, wishes, ruin your life, attention, announcement, announcements, problem, problems, departure gate, departure gates, cancellation, cancellations, customer service, service, bad service, bad customer service
"Our maintenance crew is fixing a problem that should only take a few minutes but which will haunt you for the duration of the flight."
Tags:air travel, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, traveling, travellers, travellers, travelling, passenger, passengers, announcement, announcements, bad sign, maintenance, maintenance crew, problem, problems, fixing, repairing, repair, repairs, safety, apprehension, foreboding, fear, fearful, anxiety, anxious, transportation
"Ninth floor, underwear, socks, t-shirts."
Tags:building, buildings, skyscraper, skyscrapers, architecture, architect, architects, creative, unusual, design, designs, innovative, innovation, department store, department stores, store, stores, shop, shops, clothing, clothes, fashion, underwear, pants, sock, socks, t-shirt, t-shirts, floor, floors, drawer, drawers, furniture, shape, shaped, announcement, announcements, consumerism, retail
"Effective immediately, I will be stepping down. Then back up. Then down."
Tags:step, steps, step exercise, step exercises, exercise regimen, exercise regimens, exercising, conference, conferences, step down, steps down, stepping down, press conference, press conferences, ceo, ceos, executive, executives, workout, workouts, workout routine, workout routines, exercise routine, exercise routines, announcement, announcements, announcing, politician, politicians, political scandal, political scandals, scandal, scandals, impeach, impeaches, impeachment
"Attention, shoppers. We have a lost boomer at the information desk."
Tags:department store, department stores, store, stores, shop, shops, shopping, shopper, shoppers, mall, malls, shopping mall, shopping malls, shopping center, shopping centers, shopping centre, shopping centres, information, lost & found, lost and found, lost, missing, boomer, boomers, baby boomer, baby boomers, old, elderly, old people, elderly people, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age, over the hill, over-the-hill, senile, senility, middle age, middle aged, middle-age, middle-aged, announcement, announcements, attention, man, men
"Today, class, I'm proud to announce my tenure."
"Owning to an unforeseen dip in the fiefdom's population, we regret that we must once again raise taxes."
Tags:politics, government, government, tax, taxes, money, raising taxes, high taxes, population, depopulation, unforeseen, unpredictable, fiefdom, fiefdoms, fief, fiefs, serfdom, serf, serfs, peasant, peasants, citizen, citizens, feudalism, medieval, history, historical, king, kings, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royalty, royal, decree, decrees, messenger, messengers, town crier, town criers, announcement, announcements, poor, poverty, overtaxation, taxation, unfair
"Will the owner of the car with license plate 417-JHL please move it?"
Tags:license plate, license plates, auto, autos, automobile, automobiles, car, cars, park, parks, parking, parking spot, parking spots, illegal parking, illegally parked, inconsiderate, speech, speeches, auction, auctions, car auction, car auctions, announcement, announcements, rude, rudeness, entitled, entitlement, entitlement complex, entitlement complexes, etiquette, social etiquette
"I'm Walter Grimes and I approve this drink."
Tags:drunk, drunks, drunkard, drunkards, drunken night, drunken nights, approve, approves, approving, approval, approvals, stamp of approval, stamps of approval, saloon, saloons, shout, shouts, shouting, happy drunk, happy drunks, tipsy, cocktail, cocktails, cocktail bar, cocktail bars, announcement, announcements, martini, martinis, jolly, alcoholic, alcoholics, pronouncement, pronouncements, drunken
"Folks, today we're going to have perfect weather and some great views of states that are swinging to the Democrats."
Tags:air travel, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveling, travelling, passenger, passengers, announcement, announcements, democrat, democrats, democratic party, swing state, swing states, election, elections, election campaign, election campaigns, voting, voter, voters, vote, votes, american politics, politics, government, governments, united states, us, u.s., united states of america, usa, u.s.a., america, american, view, views, political party, political parties
"Whether I have five passengers or five hundred, I try to make the same inane announcements."
Tags:plane, planes, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, pilot, pilots, commercial airline, commercial airlines, air travel, plane travel, announcement, announcements, loudspeaker, loudspeakers, loud speak, loud speakers, lazy, laziness, boring, plane announcement, plane announcements, passenger announcement, passenger announcements, cockpit, cockpits, inane, apathy, apathetic, disinterest, disinterested
Sports Radio in Crisis
Tags:radio, radios, announcer, announcers, announcement, announcements, sport, sports, sport radio, sports radio, radio station, tune in, tune-in, on air, on-air, play-offs, play-off, play offs, play off, sportcaster, sportscasters, broadcast, broadcasts, broadcasting, radio show, radioshow, loss for words, lost for words, burn out, burnt out, burned out, burn outs, conversation, conversational, awkward silence, silence, radio silence, crisis, communication, communication skills, public speaking, public speaker, public speaking skills, communication skills, skills, skill
The Sequel is Coming
Tags:doomsday, doomsayer, doomsayers, movie, movies, film, the movie industry, hollywood, sequel, sequels, overkill, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, inevitable, inevitability, +film industry, consumerism, placard, placards, announcement, announcements, repetitive, derivative, unorigibnal
"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."
Tags:pregnancy, pregnancies, expecting, expecting parent, expecting parents, expecting family, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, parent, parents, parenthood, baby, babies, kid, kids, child, children, genders, gender reveal, gender reveals, ultrasound, ultrasounds, technology, testing, doctor, doctors, nurse, obstetrician, obstetricians, medical, medicine, angel, angels, gabriel, annunciation, announcement, announcements, new testament, bible, mary, joseph, jesus, baby jesus, jesus christ, modern life, religion, religious
"If you are travelling with small children or if you just need a little extra time, we invite you to board the aircraft at this time."
Tags:travel, travels, traveling, traveled, travelling, travelled, air travel, airport, airline, boarding, board, boarding airplane, airport gate, airport terminal, airport terminals, gate, gates, announcement, announcements, gate announcement, gate announcements, sheep, shepherd, shepherds, sheepherder, sheepherders, herd, herds, herd of sheep, farmer, farming, farmers, sheep farming, sheep farmers, sheep farmer, passenger, passengers, airline passenger, airline passengers, gate agent, gate agents, flight attendant, flight attendants, air steward, air stewards, airline, airlines
"And, folks, if you'll take a look out the right side of the plane you'll see a cloud that looks exactly like a pirate."
Tags:air travel, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, travellers, travellers, passenger, passengers, announcement, announcements, cloud, clouds, pirate, pirates, looks like, looks similar, meteorology, meteorologist, meteorologists, weather, shaped, shape, shapes, cloud shapes, shapes in the clouds
"And now, before we adjourn, Ms. Hunnicutt will announce the meeting's M.V.P."
Tags:business, businessmen, businessman, businesswoman, businesswomen, meeting, meetings, office, offices, office life, adjourn, adjourning, announce, announcement, announcements, executive, executives, manager, managers, sport, sports, player, players, manager, managers, mvp, m.v.p., most valuable player, most valuable players, mvps, m.v.p.s, award, awards, reward, rewards, jargon, morale, modern life
"Honey! I'm home!"
"The guy with the weird skin disease forgot to sign the privacy forms."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, receptionist, receptionists, secretary, secretaries, nurse, privacy, personal privacy, disease, diseases, skin, skin disease, form, forms, document, documents, sign, signature, signatures, confidentiality, patient confidentiality, anonymity, health insurance portability and accountability act, hippa, h.i.p.p.a., data privacy, medical information, breach, announcement, announcements, embarrassing, humiliating
"Ladies and gentlemen, there is an uptown train a hundred and two stations away."
Tags:new york, new york city, ny, nyc, city, cities, city life, city living, urban, urban life, urban living, commuting, commute, commutes, commuter, commuters, transportation, public transportation, transit, public transit, public transport, train, trains, subway, subways, metro, metros, tube, underground, station, stations, platform, platforms, passenger, passengers, announcement, announcements, uptown, waiting, wait times, next train
"I am therefore stepping down to spend more time with my family—but not with my wife, Tammy, who can be really annoying."
Tags:politics, politician, politicians, government, governments, press conference, press conferences, media, press, camera, cameras, announcement, announcements, stepping down, retiring, retirement, retirements, retire, resign, resignation, resignations, spend more time, spend time, spend time with family, family, families, family problems, family issues, wife, wives, relationship, relationships, relationship problems, relationship issues, marriage, marriages, married life, annoying, except, exception, exceptions
"Hey, everybody, look who's here!"
"Good morning, folks, this is Captain Holwood from the flight deck. We'll be cruising at thirty-five thousand feet today, and I'll be finally taking control of my life, struggling to satisfy the needs of only one person—me!"
Tags:air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, travellers, travellers, passenger, passengers, pilot, pilots, co-pilot, co-pilots, copilot, copilots, announcement, announcements, loudspeaker, captain, captains, mental health, self-esteem, self-confidence, ego, flight deck, flight decks, taking control, life, breakdown, breakdowns, divorce, divorces, split, splits, separation, separations, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, heartbreak, broken heart, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, family, families, family issues, family problems
"Due to a bomb scare at Times Square, we're being held in the station. Please remain numb."
Tags:bomb scare, bomb scares, bomb threat, bomb threats, scare, scares, threat, threats, threatening, culture of fear, fear, fears, fearful, announcement, announcements, unrealistic, warning, warnings, warn, warns, subway, subways, transit, mass transit, rapid transit, terrorists, terrorism, numb, numbness, overwhelmed, overwhelming, new york, new yorker, new yorkers, post-9/11, 9/11, terrorist threat, terrorist threats, trauma, traumatic, modern life, modern world
Upcoming Vatican Announcements
Tags:the vatican, vatican, religion, religious, religiously, religious imagery, catholic church, the catholic church, catholic, catholicism, satire, satirical, parody, parodies, future, predict, prediction, predictions, futuristic, pope, popes, the pope, democritus, science, scientific advancements, scientific, announcement, announcements, recognise, recognize, recognised, recognized, darwin, darwinism, mistake, mistakes, contraception, contraceptive, contraceptives, birth control, birth-control, parody, parodies