"You have no new messages."
Old MacDonald Checks His Voice Mail.
Tags:animal, animals, animal sounds, animal noises, farm, farms, farming, farmer, farmers, livestock, cow, cows, chicken, chickens, pig, pigs, sheep, song, songs, children's song, children's songs, old macdonald had a farm, lyrics, famous, phone, phones, telephone, telephones, voice mail, voice mails, voicemail, voicemails, answering machine, answering machines, message, messages, cluck, baa, moo, oink, technology
"Nothing to speak of. Someone left a Bronx cheer on your voice mail."
Tags:bronx cheer, bronx cheers, raspberry, raspberries, blow a raspberry, blows a raspberry, blowing a raspberries, voicemail, voicemails, voice mail, voice mails, answering machine, answering machines, villain, villains, villainous, ceo, ceos, unpopular, unpopularity, hated, secretary, secretaries, executive, executives, white collar crime, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, out of office
"You have reached the home of Henry and Maureen Wells. If you are selling something, press 1; if you are asking for money, press 2; if you want to talk about phone service, press 3."
Tags:parent, parents, wealthy parent, wealthy parents, message, answering machine, answering machines, answerphone, answerphones, lazy, laziness, phone call, phone calls, landline, landlines, voice mail, voice mails, messages, leave a message, cold call, cold calls, unwanted, undesirable, annoyance, annoyances
"Sorry, sir, you'll have to hang on some more, but I'm going to advance you to priority-hold status."
Tags:on hold, telephone operator, telephone operators, phonecall, phonecalls, answer phone, answer phones, answering machine, answering machines, modern life modern times, modern technology, modern technologies, automated answering machine, automated answering machines, priority, priorities, wait, waiting, queue, queuing, phone queue, phones queues, telephone queue, telephone queues, big corporation, big corporations
"You're not at all like your answering machine."
"They're out. It's the damn answering machine."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, talking pet, talking pets, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, talking dog, talking dogs, dog, dogs, canine, canines, dog owner, dog owners, phone, phones, telephone, telephones, call, calls, calling, answering machine, answering machines, voicemail, voicemails, woof, message, messages, unavailable, technology, modern life
"Sometimes I just enjoy listening to some of my favorite old messages."
"Hello. You have reached the Palace. If you wish to speak to the King, press '1' now. If you wish to speak to the Queen, press '2' now. If you wish to speak to the Chancellor of the Exchequer, press '3' now. And if you wish to speak to the Minister of Cul
Tags:king, kings, monarch, monarchs, sovereign, sovereigns, royal, royalty, ruler, rulers, royal court, queen, queens, chancellor, chancellors, exchequer, exchequers, minister, ministers, minister of culture, culture, cultures, government, bureaucracy, palace, palaces, castle, castles, message, messages, press, speak, answering machine, answering machines, voicemail, voicemails, dial, dialing, dialling, phone, phones, telephone, telephones, call, calls, calling, call centre, call centres, call center, call centers, nap, napping, read, reading, book, books, television, television, tv, tvs, t.v., watch, watching, bored, boredom, jester, jesters, reception, receptionist, receptionists, modern life, medieval
"I hate calling her—she always picks up."
(If the phone rings in my office, and no one is there to hear it, does it really ring? ..... oh, and the answering machine is broken.)
Tags:bar, bars, drinks, drinking, pub, pubs, cocktail lounge, cocktail, cocktails, cocktail bar, cocktail bars, internal monologue, internal monologues, answering machine, answering machines, technology, telephones, telephone, if a tree falls in the forrest, expression, expressions, proverb, proverbs, philosophical questions, philosophy, philosopher, philosophers, george berkeley, subjective idealism, angst
"Your call is important to us. Please hold for four hours, howl obscenities, punch a hole in the wall, and hang up."
"I'm sorry I'm not available to answer you personally right now. Please leave your name and a message with the time and date you tried to reach me, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Please wait for the beep."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, answering machine, answering machines, voicemail, voicemail box, telephone, telephones, greeting, greetings, ignored, ignoring, ignore, technology, couples argument, couples dispute, couples counsellor, couples counsellors, couples counselling, couples therapy, couples therapist, marriage therapist, marriage therapy
The Black Hole Of Messages
"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."
"Hi. I'm calling at random to give you 3 million dollars, but since your're not at home, I'm going to call somebody else."
Tags:phone, phones, telephone, telephones, call, calls, answering machine, answering machines, message, messages, telemarketing, telemarketer, telemarketers, cold calling, cold caller, cold callers, scam, scams, scammer, scammers, missed opportunity, missed opportunities, bad luck, random, giveaway, giveaways, regret, regrets, regretting, money
"No, but I can take a message."
"I see, your name is Dad. And what family did you say you're with?"
While You Were Here
Tags:phone message, phone messages, message, messages, phone call, phone calls, answering machine, answering machines, answerphone, answerphones, leave a message, leaves a message, leaving a message, miss out, misses out, missing out, milestone, milestones, checkbox, checkboxes, secretary, secretaries
Triple Witching Hour in Apartment 3-K.
Tags:witching hour, witching hours, witch, witches, antisocial, introvert, introverts, introversion, introverted, phone message, phone messages, answering machine, answering machines, keep to yourself, keeping to yourself, worst fear, worst fears, nightmare, nightmares, visit, visits, visitor, visitors
"I know, I know you're recorded—but that doesn't alter the fact that I love you!"
"I'm sorry, I can't talk to you now, but please leave your name and number after the sound of the tone and I'll call you back a little after twilight!"
Tags:phone, phones, telephone, telephones, call, calls, calling, phone call, phone calls, telephone call, telephone calls, voicemail, voicemails, answering machine, answering machines, message, messages, missed call, missed calls, call back, calling back, twilight, night, nighttime, darkness, dark, monster, monsters, creature, creatures, myth, myths, legend, legends, folklore, vampire, vampires, coffin, coffins, casket, casket, sleeping, asleep, technology, modern life, halloween, hallowe'en, all hallows eve
"To talk about the 76% of my time preparing lectures, press one. To talk about why adjunct professors teach most of the classes, press two, to talk. . ."