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"Let's face it, Fred. You and I are not exactly apostles of change."
"I see you, Jake--but does anyone have a question that's not about carpentry?"
"Being around Jesus brings out all my apostle issues."
"Right now I'm his apostle, but my dream is to someday be my own Messiah."
"O.K., O.K. ... I'd lay with Peter betroth Paul and smite Luke."
"I would cite you to the Apostle Paul and his clear and wise command in Romans 13, to obey the laws of the government because God has ordained the government for his purpose."