"Cosmetic dentistry changed my life."
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animal, animals, anthro, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism, alligator, gator, gators, croc, crocodile, beauty, beautiful, medical, surgery, surgeon, dental, dental work, had work done, image clash, animals with human teeth, cosmetic, cosmetics, cosmetic dentistry, dentist, dentists, dentistry, life-changing, life changing, appearances, appearance, happy customer, happy customers, swampWilson: The Appearance of Integrity
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politician, politicians, politics, political campaign, political campaigns, election, elections, elect, election campaign, election campaigns, integrity, honest, honesty, corrupt, crook, crooks, crooked, slogan, slogans, spin doctor, spin doctors, fixer, fixers, spin, spins, spinning, campaign slogan, campaign slogans, dishonest, lying, liar, liars, cynic, cynics, cynicism, appearance, surface-deep, appearances, keeping up appearances"You're making good contact. You just need to work on your quiet class."
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baseball, baseball player, baseball players, bat, bats, batting, batting practice, class, class act, class acts, classy, improve, improves, improving, athlete, athletes, professional athlete, professional athletes, athletic, appearance, superficial, superficiality, coach, coaches, coaching, batting coach, batting coaches"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."
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mirror, mirrors, appearance, appearances, vain, vanity, age, ages, ageing, aging, wrinkle, wrinkles, nemesis, nemeses, middle age, old age, aging gracefully, ageing gracefully, resent, resents, resenting, resentment, resentments, reflection, reflections, reflecting, magic mirror, magic mirrors, crow's feet, crows feet, aging line, aging lines, ageing line, ageing lines, frustration, father time, mother nature"A first-class stamp, please. Something casual."
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first class, class, bar, bars, bar tender, stamps, stamp, high class, high society, middle class, upper class, post, postal, post office, clerk, letter, letters, preference, informal, informality, casual, keep it casual, keeping it casual, keeping things casual, laid back, mail, mails, mailing, letter, letters, appearance, appearances"Of course I'm angry—look at me."
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game, games, app, apps, application, applications, smartphone, smartphones, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, mobile phone, mobile phones, animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, bird, birds, angry, upset, character, characters, video game, video games, computer game, computer games, computer, computers, looks, appearance"Like a duck. Calm and placid on the surface, but paddling like hell. That's me!"
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cat, cats, cat owner, cat owners, cat lover, cat lovers, cat person, cat people, cat lady, cat ladies, cat man, cat men, appearance, appearances, stress, stresses, stress ball, anxious, anxiety, worry, worries, worrying"You look great. Let's go!"
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snail, snails, snail shell, snail shells, hide, hiding, dressing up, party, parties, dinner party, dinner parties, appearance, self conscious, self consciousness, self-conscious, self-consciousness, make up, make-up, beauty ritual, beauty rituals, beauty ideal, beauty ideals, feminine beauty ideal, feminine beauty ideals"Just so you guys know, in the event of an emergency I'm fully trained in P.R."
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word play, play on words, dining, drinking, eating, restaurant, restaurants, waiter, waitresses, waiting, dine, diner, dinner, eat out, public relations, pr, p.r., priorities, cpr, cardiopulmonary resuscitation, resuscitation, resuscitating, medical, presenting, appearance, appearances, appear, relations, advertising, advert, advertisement, cover up, spin, spinning"Play coy if you like, but no one can resist a perfectly symmetrical face."
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bar, bars, bar fly, bar flies, pick up, pick-up, pick up artist, pick-up artist, seduction, seduce, seducing, symmetry, symmetrical, odd, oddly, scary, scare, deformed, face, faces, halloween, date, dates, interest, interested, flirt, flirts, flirtatious, appearance, appearances, attractive, attraction, attract, attracted, biology, biological"Fix me something that reflects traditional values."
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bar, bars, pub, pubs, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, cocktail, cocktails, drinker, drinkers, bartender, bartenders, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, traditional, tradition, traditions, morals, values, appearance, appearances"Just a minute, Mister. You're not going out of here looking like that."
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cave, caveman, prehistory, prehistoric, pre historic, pre-historic, pre-history, cavemen, neanderthal, neanderthals, homo sapien, homo sapiens, homo erectus, early man, early men, stone age, stone-age, stone ages, stone-ages, dark age, dark-age, iron age, iron ages, bronze age, bronze ages, fashions, fashionable, fashion, married life, husband, husbands, untidy, mess, messy, fur, furs, outfit, wife, wives, marriage, old married couple, appearance, appearances, pun, play on words, word play"I'm not sure. Fat compared to what?"
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adam, eve, adam and eve, fat, fats, look, looks, body, bodies, tone, toning, comparing, comparison, reference, reference point, garden of eden, eden, genesis, bible, bibles, old testament, old testaments, book of genesis, parody, relationship, relationships, health, healthy, beauty, appearance, appearances, appear, vanity, self conscious, self-conscious"They're not identical twins—they're surgical twins."
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twin, twins, look-alike, look-alikes, lookalike, lookalikes, identical, identical twin, identical twins, pair, copy, copies, clone, clones, cloning, similar, plastic surgery, plastic surgeries, surgery, surgeries, appearance, looks, face, faces, cosmetic surgery, cosmetic surgeries, cosmetic work, get work done, body image, modern life"I want someone I can grow old and have plastic surgery with."
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old, older, aging, superficial, beauty, surgery, plastic surgery, youth, love, lover, looks, appearance, plastic surgeon, relationships, dating"And so, due to the appearance of wrongdoing, I've decided to simulate my resignation."
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politician, politicians, half truth, half truths, liar, liars, lying, resign, resigning, resignation, resignations, political resignation, political resignations, washington, media appearance, media appearance, simulate, simulation, simulations, public face, keeping up appearances, appearance, appearance, deceive, deceiving, deceptive, deception, deceptionsA car drives past a sign that reads "Style 4 1/2 miles" and "Substance 385 miles".
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car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driving, road, roads, road sign, road signs, sign, signs, style, substance, distance, appearance, impression, impressions, reputation, image, perception, achievement, achievements, action, actions, perspective, perspectives, value, success, philosophy, philosophical, approach, approaches, approaches to life, approach to life, life"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."
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mansplain, mansplains, mansplaining, conversation, conversations, converse, conversing, conversationalist, conversationalists, steer a conversation, steering a conversation, expert, experts, expertise, self-interested, self-assured, self-assurance, area of expertise, areas of expertise, show-off, showing off, smart, intelligent, intelligence, limited intelligence, appearance, appearances, putting on appearances"They're back! They're back! How do I look? Oh, never mind! Never mind!"
"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."
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modern life, modern lives, appearance, appearances, keep up appearances, keeping up appearances, superficial, superficiality, happy, happiness, financial ruin, gilded, gilding, gilded age, gilded ages, design, designs, designer, designers, interior design, interior designs, interior designer, interior designers, house, houses, housing, home, homes, homeowner, homeowners, mask, masks, masking, cover up, covers up, covering up, dysfunction, dysfunctional, dysfunctionality"The company blog says we're doing extremely well, though. Blogs will do that."
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blog, blogs, blogger, bloggers, blogging, company blog, company blogs, social media, social networking, putting on a brave face, bankruptcy, bankrupted, bankruptcies, appearance, appearances, office politics, downturn, downturns, profit warning, profit warnings, layoff, layoffs, quarterly report, quarterly reports"We could be soulmates, if only you could overlook my tiny calves."
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calves, mermaid, mermaids, calve muscle, calve muscles, romance, romances, romantic, romantics, soulmate, soulmates, true love, true loves, date, dates, whale, whales, shallow, shallowness, appearance, appearances, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, seamonster, seamonsters, sea monster, sea monsters