"Cosmetic dentistry changed my life."
Tags:animal, animals, anthro, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism, alligator, gator, gators, croc, crocodile, beauty, beautiful, medical, surgery, surgeon, dental, dental work, had work done, image clash, animals with human teeth, cosmetic, cosmetics, cosmetic dentistry, dentist, dentists, dentistry, life-changing, life changing, appearances, appearance, happy customer, happy customers, swamp
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."
Tags:mirror, mirrors, appearance, appearances, vain, vanity, age, ages, ageing, aging, wrinkle, wrinkles, nemesis, nemeses, middle age, old age, aging gracefully, ageing gracefully, resent, resents, resenting, resentment, resentments, reflection, reflections, reflecting, magic mirror, magic mirrors, crow's feet, crows feet, aging line, aging lines, ageing line, ageing lines, frustration, father time, mother nature
"A first-class stamp, please. Something casual."
Tags:first class, class, bar, bars, bar tender, stamps, stamp, high class, high society, middle class, upper class, post, postal, post office, clerk, letter, letters, preference, informal, informality, casual, keep it casual, keeping it casual, keeping things casual, laid back, mail, mails, mailing, letter, letters, appearance, appearances
"Like a duck. Calm and placid on the surface, but paddling like hell. That's me!"
"Just so you guys know, in the event of an emergency I'm fully trained in P.R."
Tags:word play, play on words, dining, drinking, eating, restaurant, restaurants, waiter, waitresses, waiting, dine, diner, dinner, eat out, public relations, pr, p.r., priorities, cpr, cardiopulmonary resuscitation, resuscitation, resuscitating, medical, presenting, appearance, appearances, appear, relations, advertising, advert, advertisement, cover up, spin, spinning
"Play coy if you like, but no one can resist a perfectly symmetrical face."
Tags:bar, bars, bar fly, bar flies, pick up, pick-up, pick up artist, pick-up artist, seduction, seduce, seducing, symmetry, symmetrical, odd, oddly, scary, scare, deformed, face, faces, halloween, date, dates, interest, interested, flirt, flirts, flirtatious, appearance, appearances, attractive, attraction, attract, attracted, biology, biological
"Everybody thinks I'm in rehab."
Tags:prison, prisoners, prisons, jail, jailed, jails, criminal, criminals, criminal, rehab, rehabilitation, rehabilitate, appearances, keeping up appearances, convict, convicted, convicts, drug, drug addiction, drug addict, drug addicts, addict, addiction, addictions, addicted, shared, share, sharing, cell mate, cell-mate, woes, woe, complain, complaint, complaining
"Fix me something that reflects traditional values."
"Just a minute, Mister. You're not going out of here looking like that."
Tags:cave, caveman, prehistory, prehistoric, pre historic, pre-historic, pre-history, cavemen, neanderthal, neanderthals, homo sapien, homo sapiens, homo erectus, early man, early men, stone age, stone-age, stone ages, stone-ages, dark age, dark-age, iron age, iron ages, bronze age, bronze ages, fashions, fashionable, fashion, married life, husband, husbands, untidy, mess, messy, fur, furs, outfit, wife, wives, marriage, old married couple, appearance, appearances, pun, play on words, word play
"My mother just told me I look like hell."
"I'm not sure. Fat compared to what?"
Tags:adam, eve, fat, fats, look, looks, body, bodies, tone, toning, comparing, comparison, reference, reference point, garden of eden, eden, genesis, bible, bibles, old testament, old testaments, book of genesis, parody, relationship, relationships, health, healthy, beauty, appearance, appearances, appear, vanity, self conscious, self-conscious
"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."
Tags:devil, devils, demon, demons, satan, satanic, deal with the devil, dealing with the devil, sins, meeting, meetings, human resources, hr, h r, media, big business, business, corporate, political, politics, politically, politically charged, appearances, realities, reality, metaphor, metaphors, executive, executives, management, managers, big business, corporations, corrupt, corruption, corrupted, evil, evilly, evils, money, wealth, wealthy, positive image, public relations, pr, p r, pr management, spin, spin doctor, rhetoric, fake, phony, phonies, lies, fake news, critique, critical, critic
"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."
Tags:mansplain, mansplains, mansplaining, conversation, conversations, converse, conversing, conversationalist, conversationalists, steer a conversation, steering a conversation, expert, experts, expertise, self-interested, self-assured, self-assurance, area of expertise, areas of expertise, show-off, showing off, smart, intelligent, intelligence, limited intelligence, appearance, appearances, putting on appearances
"They're back! They're back! How do I look? Oh, never mind! Never mind!"
"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."
Tags:modern life, modern lives, appearance, appearances, keep up appearances, keeping up appearances, superficial, superficiality, happy, happiness, financial ruin, gilded, gilding, gilded age, gilded ages, design, designs, designer, designers, interior design, interior designs, interior designer, interior designers, house, houses, housing, home, homes, homeowner, homeowners, mask, masks, masking, cover up, covers up, covering up, dysfunction, dysfunctional, dysfunctionality
"The company blog says we're doing extremely well, though. Blogs will do that."
Tags:blog, blogs, blogger, bloggers, blogging, company blog, company blogs, social media, social networking, putting on a brave face, bankruptcy, bankrupted, bankruptcies, appearance, appearances, office politics, downturn, downturns, profit warning, profit warnings, layoff, layoffs, quarterly report, quarterly reports
"We could be soulmates, if only you could overlook my tiny calves."
Tags:calves, mermaid, mermaids, calve muscle, calve muscles, romance, romances, romantic, romantics, soulmate, soulmates, true love, true loves, date, dates, whale, whales, shallow, shallowness, appearance, appearances, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, seamonster, seamonsters, sea monster, sea monsters
"I've found someone else who thinks I'm really attractive."
"I don't doubt that it's perfectly innocent, Margaret, but it does have the appearance of impropriety."
Tags:gullible, gullibility, cheat, cheats, cheater, cheaters, love triangle, love triangles, believing, believable, impropriety, innocent explanation, innocent explanations, unbelievable, adulterer, adulterers, infidelity, infidelities, believe, believes, believer, believers, philander, philanders, philandering, spouse, spouses, husband, husbands, wife, wives, appearance, appearances
"Not only do you look marvelous but all of you looks the same age."
"So where's the good cop?"
Tags:interrogation, interrogations, interrogation room, interrogation rooms, interrogation technique, interrogation techniques, criminal, criminals, suspect, suspects, suspected criminal, perp, perps, perpetrator, perpetrators, good cop, bad cop, good cop/bad cop routine, good cop-bad cop routine, police brutality, police corruption, appearances, judging a book by its cover, joint questioning
"And please protect me from the appearance of wrongdoing."
Tags:religion, religious, pray, praying, prayer, prayers, guilt, guilty, politics, politician, politicians, government, governments, appearance, appearances, wrongdoing, white-collar crime, media, press, journalism, protect, protection, business, businessman, businessmen, ethics, unethical, scandal, scandals
"Must be a politician—not a hair out of place."
Tags:prehistoric, prehistory, history, historic, histories, historical, stone age, stone ages, dark age, dark ages, iron age, iron ages, bronze age, bronze ages, cave, caveman, cavemen, cave man, cave men, politician, politics, political, appearance, appearances, image, elect, election, elections, campaign, campaigns, campaigning, campaigner, elected, electing, electorate, culture, culture shock
"He's one of our own, so let's give him a big welcome."