"My name is Mr. Collins. I'll be teaching you English literature, and I'm armed."
"I understand they have some lovely things."
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A dog dressed as a cowboy leans against a sign that reads "Armed response".
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, canine, canines, dog owner, dog owners, cowboy, cowboys, wild west, western, westerns, old west, shooting, weapon, weapons, firearm, firearms, gun, guns, gun control, firearms regulation, gun violence, gun crime, armed, armed response, holster, holsters, military, police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, officer, officers, firearms unit, firearm units, armed unit, armed units, violence, violent, security, guard dog, guard dogs, guarding, law enforcement
"The media says there's a war on Christmas, and St. Nick isn't in the business of losing wars."
Tags:christmas, xmas, yule, noel, santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, st. nicholas, mrs. claus, animal, animals, reindeer, rudolph, war on christmas, politics, political correctness, secularisation, secularization, media, business, war, wars, fight, fights, fighting, holiday, holidays, weapon, weapons, gun, guns, firearm, firearms, gun violence, armour, armor, body armour, body armor, bullet-proof vest, bulletproof vest, bullet-proof vests, bulletproof vests, protective gear, protective equipment, safety gear, safety equipment, riot gear, shield, shields, helmet, helmets, armed, sword, swords, getting ready, preparing, preparing for war, preparing for battle, conspiracy theory, conspiracy theories
"What ever happened to 'Never go to bed angry'?"
Tags:angry, anger, bed, sleep, couple, couples, married couple, shotgun, shotguns, guns, gun, gun violence, gun control, balaclava, balaclavas, vigilante, masked vigilante, masked criminal, masked intruder, masked gunman, robbery, bank robbery, bank robber, armed robbery, armed robber, armed, common phrase, common phrases, popular sayings, idiom, idioms, fight, fights, fighting, row, rows, rowing, argue, argues, arguing, argument, arguments, quarrel, quarrels, quarrelling, bicker, bickers, bickering, domestics, marital spats, siege mentality, anger issue, anger issues
"We have no choice but to resort to war kitties- may God have mercy on our souls."
Tags:war, wars, fight, fighting, fights, attack, offensive, offensives, cats, cat, kitten, kittens, war crime, war crimes, weapon, weapons, arms, arm, armed, arming, attacks, attacking, mercy, merciful, final option, weapon of war, geneva convention, geneva conventions, contrasting, contrast, final resort, resorting, violence, violent, general, generals, leader, military, army, armies, militaries, pet, pets, feline, felines
"See? That's how it starts, with the sniffles."
Tags:napoleon, napoleonic, france, french, army, armies, armed, military, militaries, cold, flu, colds, flu, sniffle, sniffles, runny nose, sick, ill, illness, death, dying, dies, war, wars, march, marching, start, starting, flu, freezing, snow, snowing, march to moscow, invasion of russia, invading, invades, fight, fights, fighting, fighter, soldier, soldiers, soldiering, medical, disease, history, historical
"People don't give me bread crumbs. I take them."
Tags:swan, swans, duck, ducks, goose, geese, aggressive, bread, bread crumbs, park, lake, bread crumb, parks, lakes, threatening, stealing, mugging, attacking, feeding, unexpected, warrior, fight, fighting, fights, plunder, warriors, armor, armored, weapons, spikes, spike, armed, armour, armoured, master, masters, aggressor, aggressors, battle, battles, battling
"You all know General Petersen from I.T."
Tags:general, generals, commander, commanders, army, armed forces, armed, forces, i.t., computers, computing, computer, internet, nerd, nerdy, geek, geeky, cyber, cyberspace, cyber war, cyber warfare, intelligence, hacking, hackers, weak, frail, small, puny, intelligence gathering, technology, compute, information technology
A modest proposal: Why not arm the Trump administration for their own safety?
Tags:trump, donald trump, president trump, president donald trump, trump administration, white house, arm, armed, gun, guns, gun crime, mass shootings, mass shooting, school shootings, school shooting, gun lobby, nra, national rifle association, stupid ideas, arm teachers, modest proposal, jonathan swift, swift
If Jesus had been armed.