"General, your night vision goggles keep hitting my forehead."
Tags:combat, tech, technological, military technology, military tech, cutting edge, night vision, stumble, stumbling, bumbling, bumble, clumsy, clumsily, clumsiness, fumble, fumbled, fumbling, intelligence, special intelligence, lights out, married, marriage, married life, spice things up, spice it up, dead bedroom, dead bedrooms, toy, toys, goggle, goggles, night vision goggles, general, generals, army, armies, cia, dates, date, general, generals
"You mean what we did just then was an actual war?"
Tags:general, generals, president, presidents, red button, red buttons, war, wars, warfare, military action, military strike, military strikes, missile strike, missile strikes, conflict, military conflict, armed forces, military conflicts, commander in chief, commander-in-chief, military strategy, army strategy, army, armies
"All I'm saying is, giving a little something to the arts might help our image."
Armchair Is Highly Decorated
Tags:furniture, furnishing, furnishings, decor, decoration, decorate, decorated, interior design, interior, interiors, pun, puns, punny, play on words, word-play, word play, military, award, awards, badge, badges, medal, medals, recognition, experience, experienced, old chair, arm chair, armchair, lapel, lapels, general, generals, army, armies, army general, army generals
"Preparing to Cross the Alps: Hannibal's Address to his Elephants
Tags:history, historical, ancient, rome, roman, romans, roman empire, carthage, carthaginian, hannibal, second punic war, crossing the alps, animal, animals, elephant, elephants, pachyderm, pachyderms, african, africans, problem, problems, speech, speeches, address, addresses, addressing, speaking, army, armies, war, wars, military, military strategy, military strategies, understand, understanding, encouragement, encouraging, inspiration, inspirational, inspiring, nothing to lose
"The yellow ones need to be signed, but the pink ones only require initials."
Tags:war, wars, military, death, dead, die, died, gunman, gun, guns, firing, firing line, historical, reference, references, referential, troop, troops, army, armies, private, martial, martial law, historically, referential, paper, papers, paperwork, sentence, sentences, receipt, receipts, document, documents, documentation, red tape, red-tape
"Anti-personnel land mines pose no threat to people, Colonel. Only to personnel."
Tags:land mine, land mines, anti-personnel, mine, mines, minefield, minefields, mine field, mine fields, military, military personnel, euphemisms, language, language trick, language tricks, kill, kills, killing, killings, murder, murders, murdering, military man, military men, general, generals, commander, commanders, army, armies, officer, officers
Modern William Tell Uses An Air-Strike To Hit Apple
Tags:air strike, air strikes, drone strike, air force, drone, drones, air-strike, air-strikes, drone-strikes, militaries, military, army, armies, violent, violence, calling it in, call it in, general, generals, soldier, soldiers, officer, officers, modern warfare, war, warfare, modern war, modern life, technology, spin off, spin-off, spoof, spoofed, parody, parodies, parodied, william tell, folkstory, folkstories, folktale, folktales
Tags:war and peace, tolstoy, leo tolstoy, review, reviews, reviewer, reviewers, book review, book reviews, book reviewing, critic, critics, critique, critiques, conflict of interest, conflicts of interest, bias, biased, middle ground, middle grounds, warmonger, warmongers, hawk, hawks, military hawk, military hawks, compromise, compromises, compromising, general, generals, army, armies, navy, marine, marine corps, ambivalent, ambivalence, literary critic, literary critics
"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."
Tags:military, soldier, soldiers, arsenal, nuclear, nuclear weapon, nuclear weapons, flirt, flirts, telephone conversation, telephone sex, flirty, phone, phones, phone call, phone calls, teen, teens, teenager, war, wars, army, armies, navy, airforce, marines, flirtation, flirtations, air force, diplomacy, diplomat, diplomats, nuclear arsenal, nuclear arsenals
"This looked cooler in the commercials."
Tags:ad, ads, advertisement, advertisements, marketing, commercial, commercials, ad campaign, ad campaigns, advertisement campaign, advertisements campaigns, cool, cooler, not cool, war, wars, military, soldier, soldiers, army, armies, army soldier, army soldiers, army-soldier, army-soldiers, gun, guns, recruit, recruiter, recruiting, army recruiter, army recruiters, army recruit, army recruit, new recruit, new recruits, violent, violence, tv vs. reality, the reality of war, reality, television vs. reality, don't believe what you see on tv, man in uniform, men in uniform
"All the kids have noticed that Mom wears Russian Army boots."
Tags:spy, spies, spying, cold war, russia, russian, russians, espionage, boot, boots, fashion, fashionable, fashions, army, armies, secret agent, secret agents, ussr, u.s.s.r., embarrassed, children, child, kid, kids, mom, mum, mother, mothers, moms, mums, intelligence, intel, undercover, undercovers
"It's not fair - they have a much bigger payroll!"
Tags:king, kings, monarch, monarchs, medieval, defense, defence, castle, castles, fort, forts, attack, attacks, invade, invasion, invasions, invading, invaded, siege, sieges, besieged, fair, unfair, unjust, unbalanced, payroll, payrolls, corporate, corporation, business, businesses, games, games, salary, salaries, employee, employees, knight, knights, army, armies, soldier, soldiers, modern, history, contrast, comparison, comparing
"I just said, 'Open Sesame', and there they were."
"Hold on - I'll call in an air strike."
Tags:air strike, air strikes, drone strike, air force, drone, drones, air-strike, air-strikes, drone-strikes, militaries, military, army, armies, violent, violence, calling it in, call it in, general, generals, soldier, soldiers, officer, officers, modern warfare, war, warfare, modern war, modern life, technology, spin off, spin-off, spoof, spoofed, parody, parodies, parodied, tree, trees, stuck in a tree, ball, bark, barking, pet, pets, domestic pet, domestic pets, sarcasm, sarcastic, tree, trees, dog, dogs, anything for my dog
"My people will get back to your people."
Tags:king, kings, ruler, rulers, general, generals, officer, officers, ancient rome, ancient greece, barbarians, vikings, politics, history, historical, medieval, politician, politicians, government, governments, diplomacy, diplomats, diplomat, international relations, foreign relations, war, wars, conflict, conflicts, fight, fights, fighting, negotiating, negotiation, negotiations, army, armies, enemy, enemies, warrior, warriors, soldier, soldiers, expression, expressions, word play, wordplay
"If I don't make it out of here alive, please send my sweetheart this picture of my crotch."
Tags:selfie, selfies, text, texts, texting, photo, photos, photograph, photographs, photographing, photography, bunker, bunkers, trench warfare, soldier, soldiers, fighter, fighters, fighting, army, armies, military man, military men, letter home, letters home, letter, sweetheart, sweethearts, modern life, modern times, dirty picture, dirty pictures, rude picture, rude pictures, anthony weiner, scandal, scandals, political scandal, political scandals
"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"
Tags:home, returning home, return, returns, returning, come back, comes back, coming back, errand, errands, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, mobile, mobiles, phone, phones, smartphone, smartphones, victor, victors, victorious, call your wife, calling your wife, chore, chores, menial task, menial tasks, army, armies, general, generals, military leader, military leaders, married life
"According to my latest poll, Sire, it's eleven in favor of continuing the Crusade and eight thousand in favor of returning home."
Tags:history, historical, crusade, crusades, army, armies, military, soldier, soldiers, knight, knights, king, kings, king richard i, richard the lionheart, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royalty, medieval, politics, politician, politicians, government, governments, vote, votes, voter, voters, voting, democracy, poll, polls, pollster, pollsters, polling, unpopular, opinion, opinions, policy, policies
"No, she likes me best!"
Tags:general, generals, army, armies, girl, girls, women, woman, dating, dates, approval, approving, likes me best, competition, competitive, childish, children, childlike, immature, babyish, infantile, juvenile, silly, unlikely, unbecoming, commander, commanders, officer, officers, military, militaries
Never Tested on Animals
"Ever get the feeling you're in the wrong army?"
Tags:army, armed forces, armed force, armies, soldier, soldiers, rock and roll, rock 'n' roll, rock star, rock stars, death metal, uniform, uniforms, battleground, battlegrounds, battle zone, warzone, war zone, war zones, rocker, rockers, career change, career changes, career path, wrong career, wrong job, job change, new job, new jobs
"You will notice that we are represented by troops from many nations."
Tags:war, wars, military, death, dead, die, died, gunman, gun, guns, firing, firing line, historical, reference, references, referential, troop, troops, army, armies, private, martial, marshall, martial law, historically, referential, equality, represented, representation, representing, represents, diversity, diverse
"They're dividing into three groups, Sire. Infantry, cavalry, and media."
Tags:war, wars, warring, media, media violence, army, armies, infantry, infantries, cavalry, cavalries, siege, sieges, siege warfare, castle, castles, knight, knights, military strategy, military strategies, journalist, journalists, journalism, reporter, reporters, military history, military historian, military historians, medieval, divide, divides, dividing, division, divisions
"It's so refreshing to finally have a leader who answers his critics."
Tags:politics, politicians, politician, politically, political, medieval, history, historical, parallel, parallels, castle, castles, king, kings, ruler, rulers, monarchy, monarh, autocracy, autocratic, state, the state, critic, critics, army, armies, militarise, military, improvement, blind leading the blind, detractor, detractors, metaphor, metaphors, literal, visual gag