Army Cartoons

"General, your night vision goggles keep hitting my forehead."

"You mean what we did just then was an actual war?"

"All I'm saying is, giving a little something to the arts might help our image."

Armchair Is Highly Decorated

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"Preparing to Cross the Alps: Hannibal's Address to his Elephants

"The yellow ones need to be signed, but the pink ones only require initials."

"Anti-personnel land mines pose no threat to people, Colonel. Only to personnel."

"By the time we got there, all we wanted to do was raid their kitchen."

"I'm beginning to feel really good about myself again."

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

Modern William Tell Uses An Air-Strike To Hit Apple

"It's so-so."

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

"This looked cooler in the commercials."

"All the kids have noticed that Mom wears Russian Army boots."

"It's not fair - they have a much bigger payroll!"

"I just said, 'Open Sesame', and there they were."

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

"Hold on - I'll call in an air strike."

"In the end, he decided to go negative."

David Petraeus

"My people will get back to your people."

"If I don't make it out of here alive, please send my sweetheart this picture of my crotch."

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"