"I can read you your rights, or you can listen to your rights on tape."
Tags:rights, miranda rights, reading rights, read you your rights, police, policeman, police officer, police officers, arrest, arresting, arrested, perp, perpetrator, criminal, criminals, suspect, suspects, reading, read, reading aloud, read aloud, audiobooks, audiobook, tape, tapes, recording, recording, lazy, laziness, absurd, absurdist, listen, listening
"You get one phone call or we can switch your carrier and you'll get five-cents-a-minute, unlimited calls, anytime, anywhere, including free evenings and weekends."
Tags:police, police station, arrest, arrested, phone call, phone calls, one call, one phone call, right, rights, interrogation, interrogations, interrogate, mobile phone, mobile phones, mobile phone plans, mobile phone plans, cell phone, cell phones, cell phone plan, options, option, dilemma, dilemmas, calling plan, calling plans, choice, choices, choose, choosing, pick one, cell carriers, cell carrier, mobile carrier, mobile carriers
"He's long gone, sheriff - you'll never catch him."
"Eddie is under house arrest."
Tags:gibbit, gibbits, house arrest, house arrests, arrest, arrests, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, jail, jails, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, cage, cages, house-arrest, house-arrests, imprisoned, domestic abuse, medieval punishment, medieval punishments, abusive relationship, abusive relationships, husband, husbands, wife, wives, discipline
"Before we go to lockup, you've got to see this hilarious video."
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, arrest, arrests, arrested, police car, police cars, police cruiser, police cruisers, lockup, lockups, jail, jails, prison, prisons, criminal, criminals, suspect, suspects, felon, felons, bad guy, bad guys, laptop, laptops, computer, computers, video, videos, internet, online, internet video, internet videos, streaming, viral video, viral videos, hilarious, funny, sharing, social networking, social network, social networks, social media, incompetent, incompetents, the power of the internet, technology, modern life, law, justice
"Can we move our lunch up to noon? I've got to be at City Hall by two to be arrested."
Tags:criminal, criminals, arrest, arrests, arrested, white collar crime, white collar crimes, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, slap on the wrist, priorities, prioritise, prioritize, bad priorities, wrong priorities, lunch date, lunch dates, executives, executive, business executives, business executive, business executives, manager, managers, boss, bosses, business manager, business managers, rich person, rich people, the one percent, the 1 percent, wealth divide, wealth gap, ny, nyc, new york city, new york, city hall
"All right, you're free to go. We're in this for the sport - catch and release only."
Tags:crime, criminal, criminals, crimes, law, laws, order, law and order, police, policing, catch, catching, catch and release, release, releasing, releases, catches, caught, arrest, arrested, arresting, cops, cop, fish, fishing, hunt, hunting, hunter, fisher, fisherman, angler, angle, angling, sport, sporting, police officer, police officers, policeman, policemen, human rights, abuse, abuses, sport fishing, cruel, cruelty, abuser, abusers
"Honey, I still think you're the greatest."
Tags:marriage, married life, married, wife, wives, husband, husbands, crime, criminal, criminals, crimes, criminal justice, law, police, police officer, officers, officer, cop, cops, arrest, arrested, arresting, arrests, nonchalant, nonchalance, unfased, unfazed, concerned, unconcerned, worried, not worried, trust, trusting, trusted, trusts, belief, believe, believes, faith, faithful, faithfulness, support, supportive, supports, verbal support
"Ow! Don't smush so hard, meatball!"
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, detective, detectives, police detective, police detectives, investigation, investigations, police investigation, police investigations, fingerprint, fingerprints, fingerprinting, criminal, criminals, suspect, suspects, crime, smush, smushing, squish, squishing, hurt, pain, painful, booking, arresting, arrest, arrests
Slammer on the Spot
Tags:police, policeman, policemen, police officer, police officers, police man, police men, cop, cops, copper, coppers, crime, crimes, misdemeanour, misdemeanours, criminal, criminals, prison, prisons, slammer, the slammer, gaol, gaols, jail, jails, lock-up, lock-ups, lock up, lock up, street crime, street crimes, minor crime, minor crimes, arrest, arrested, locked up, detention, detained, incarceration, incarcerated, convenient, convenience, ea
Who Wants To Be Regis?
Tags:regis philbin, host, hosts, hosting, tv host, tv hosts, talk show, talk shows, talk show host, talk show hosts, game show, game shows, game show host, game show hosts, hosting, arrest, arrests, arrested, final answer, catchphrase, catchphrases, murder, murders, murder trial, murder trials, murderer, murderers, murdering, kill, kills, killer, killing, capital punishment, death penalty
"Quick! Toss me the stalest one you've got!"
Tags:pretzel, pretzels, street food, food cart, food carts, food stand, food stands, street vendor, street vendors, caterer, caterers, catering, arrest, arrests, handcuff, handcuffs, incompetent, incompetence, bad food, improvise, improvising, improviser, improvisers, unprofessional, professionalism
"For me, a confessions is much too autobiographical."
"I get it- the old caffeinated-cop, decaffeinated-cop routine."
"Once I start writing a poem, I can't stop."
"The community refused my services."
Tags:community, communities, prison, prisons, jail, jails, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, arrest, arrests, prisoner, prisoners, jailer, jailers, convict, convicts, law enforcement, imprisonment, imprisoned, imprison, social conscience, community service, community services, punishments, punitive action
"Can you hear me now?"
"I've seen it a thousand times: Child star. Newfound fame. Drug addiction. Rock bottom."
Tags:police, policemen, policewoman, policeman, policewomen, cops, cop, authority, authorities, criminal, criminals, crime, delinquent, delinquency, delinquents, arrested, arrest, under arrest, child star, child stars, famous, famous kid, famous child, famous children, famous kids, child actor, child actors, animated, animation, animated movie, animated movies, animated film, animated films, animated character, animated characters, breaking the law, breaking laws, off the rails, down the wrong path
"Next time you hold up a crowded store, don't wear a recognizable fragrance."
Tags:crime, criminal, robber, robbery, robbing, heist, thief, thieves, steal, stealing, stolen, steals, police, arrest, arresting, charge, charged, criminals, caught, catches, fragrance, fragrances, perfume, perfumes, mistake, mistakes, evidence, aftershave, aftershaves, fancy, metrosexual, metrosexuals, feminine, hold up, hold-up, consumerism, consumerist, fashion, fashions, unique, independent, hipster, hipsters, materialism, vain, vanity
Maps to the house arrests of the stars
Tags:map, maps, tour, tourist, tourists, tourism, tour guide, hollywood, la, los angeles, california, celebrities, celebs, famous, famous people, famous person, fame, star, stars, criminal, criminals, travel, travel agent, travel agents, travel agency, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, getaway, house arrest, arrested, arrest, crime, crimes, law, laws, law and order, ankle bracelet
"You're not getting anything out of me unless you pinch really hard with your thumb and forefinger, then pull."
"I don't particularly enjoy this, but we're on dash cam and I look better when I smile."
Arresting Adam and Eve
Tags:adam, eve, garden of eden, genesis, creation myth, creation myths, creation story, creation stories, snake, snakes, serpent, serpents, temptations, tempting, tempted, beat cop, beat cops, the fall, bible story, bible stories, torah story, torah stories, arrest, arrests, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, policemen, policeman, cop, cops, christian, christians, christianity, judaism, jew, jews
"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."
Tags:pledge drive, pledge drives, pledge, pledges, pledging, legal right, legal rights, due process, phone call, phone calls, telephone call, telephone calls, cop, cops, arrest, arrests, tv channel, tv channels, television channel, television channels, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, charity pledge, charity pledges, fundraising, crowdsourcing, fundraiser, fundraisers, crowd-sourcing, legal process
"Involuntary manslaughter. How about you?"