Arrest Cartoons

"I can read you your rights, or you can listen to your rights on tape."

"You get one phone call or we can switch your carrier and you'll get five-cents-a-minute, unlimited calls, anytime, anywhere, including free evenings and weekends."

"He's long gone, sheriff - you'll never catch him."

"Eddie is under house arrest."

"Before we go to lockup, you've got to see this hilarious video."

"Can we move our lunch up to noon? I've got to be at City Hall by two to be arrested."

"All right, you're free to go. We're in this for the sport - catch and release only."

"Honey, I still think you're the greatest."

"Ow! Don't smush so hard, meatball!"

Slammer on the Spot

Who Wants To Be Regis?

"Quick! Toss me the stalest one you've got!"

"For me, a confessions is much too autobiographical."

"I get it- the old caffeinated-cop, decaffeinated-cop routine."

"Once I start writing a poem, I can't stop."

"The community refused my services."

"Can you hear me now?"

"I've seen it a thousand times: Child star. Newfound fame. Drug addiction. Rock bottom."

"Next time you hold up a crowded store, don't wear a recognizable fragrance."

Maps to the house arrests of the stars

"You're not getting anything out of me unless you pinch really hard with your thumb and forefinger, then pull."

"I don't particularly enjoy this, but we're on dash cam and I look better when I smile."

Arresting Adam and Eve

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

"Involuntary manslaughter. How about you?"