"I'd like to get my hands on the astrologer who told you that!"
Tags:astrologer, astrologers, astrology, prediction, predictions, guess, guesses, guessing, guessing game, guessing games, bad guess, bad guesses, inaccurate, inaccuracy, revenge, vengeance, seek vengeance, seeks vengeance, seeking vengeance, couple, couples, married couple, married couples, bicker, bickers, bickering, row, rows, rowing, fight, fights, fighting
"I bet you feel pretty ridiculous bringing that wind chime."
"Libra (September 23-October 23): Busy, busy, busy."
Tags:horoscope, horoscopes, libra, libras, zodiac sign, zodiac signs, astrology, astrologists, astrologist, gullible, old age, old people, elder, elders, elderly, aging, ageing, relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, newspaper, newspapers
"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, patron, patrons, customer, customers, drink, drinks, drinking, drinking alcohol, alcohol, alcoholic, liquor, booze, horoscope, horoscopes, zodiac, zodiac, astrology, star sign, star signs, western astrology, animal, animals, anthropomorphism, anthropomorphic, personification, bull, bulls, fish, ram, rams, crab, crabs, lion, lions, taurus, aeries, leo, pieces, cancer, relationship, relationships, dating, date, dates, pick-up line, pickup line, pickup lines, pick up line, pick up lines, compatibility
Tags:accident, accidents, circle, horoscope, horoscopes, zodiac, zodiacs, zodiac sign, zodiac signs, astrology, astrologer, astrologers, astrological sign, astrological signs, aries, taurus, gemini, cancer, leo, virgo, libra, scorpio, sagittarius, capricorn, aquarius, pisces, constellation, constellations, astronomy, astronomer, astronomers
"All I know is she has unlimited access."
Tags:politics, american, america, united states, us, u.s., united states of america, usa, u.s.a., washington, white house, oval office, reagan, ronald reagan, nancy reagan, first lady, president, presidents, chief of staff, unlimited access, access, fortune-telling, fortunetelling, fortune, fortunes, fortune-teller, fortune-tellers, fortuneteller, fortunetellers, fortune teller, fortune tellers, psychic, psychics, seer, seers, astrology, secretary, secretaries, receptionist, receptionists, suspicious, questionable, strange, unusual
"Just thought I'd let you know that the stars are in the exact same configuration as when Mary Shelley wrote 'Frankenstein'."
Gossip Of The Stars.
"For what it's worth, next week all your stars and planets will be in good aspect for you to launch an invasion of England."
Tags:astrologer, astrologers, astrology, invade, invades, invading, invasion, invasions, norman, normans, horoscope, horoscopes, luck, good luck, war, wars, warring, warfare, predict, predicts, predicting, prediction, predictions, psychic, psychics, argue, argues, arguing, battle, battles, battling, fortune, fortunes, fortune teller, fortune tellers, fortune telling, start a war, starting a war, england, united kingdom
Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."
Tags:tarot, tarots, tarot card, tarot cards, card, cards, fortune, fortunes, fortune teller, fortune tellers, read, reading, house of, astrology, astrological, mystic, mystics, mysticism, mets, met, baseball, baseball game, games, season, seasons, the game, record, new york, sport, sports, competitive sports, sports lover, sports lovers, competition, clinch, seance, married, marriage, married life, communication, communicate, communicating, wife, wives, loyal, loyalty, seance, seances
After the death of New York City, Zeus placed it in the heavens as a constellation.
Tags:new york, ny, urban, city, cities, constellation, constellations, star, stars, space, outer space, astronomy, astronomer, astronomers, astrology, astrologist, astrologists, science, zeus, greek, greek god, greek gods, greek mythology, myth, myths, legend, legends, history, historical, heaven, heavens, death, dead, borough, boroughs, five boroughs, manhattan, brooklyn, queens, the bronx, staten island, map, maps, outline, outlines, new, modern, modern life
"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."
Tags:obese, obesity, overweight, weigh, weight, heavy, fat, fattening, obesity epidemic, haes, health at every size, beer belly, tarot, tarots, tarot card, tarot cards, card, cards, fortune, fortunes, fortune teller, fortune tellers, read, reading, house of, astrology, astrological, pancake, pancakes, food, foods, foodie, food blogger, food lover, food bloggers, mystic, mysticism
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the phone. You're telling me that this whole time you've just been making up the horoscopes?"
Tags:magazine, magazines, newspaper, newspapers, periodical, periodicals, media, astrology, astrologer, astrologers, astrological forecast, astrological forecasts, horoscope, horoscopes, zodiac, daily horoscope, daily horoscopes, reading, readings, future, prediction, predictions, telling the future, foretelling the future, predicting the future, psychic, psychics, seer, seers, invent, fake, false, made-up, made up, office, offices, office life, fortune-telling, fortunetelling, fortune, fortunes, fortune-teller, fortune-tellers, fortuneteller, fortunetellers, fortune teller, fortune tellers
"Are there space-babes?"
"Are there space-babes?"
"Quit makin' up constellations."
Tags:star, stars, star-gazing, star-gazer, star gazing, star gazer, astronomy, astrology, astronomical, night, nighttime, date, dates, date night, date-night, romance, romantic, cliche, romances, romantically, picnic, night sky, nightsky, night-sky, sky, skies, constellation, constellations, ares, leo, taurus, scorpio, capricorn, aquarius, sagittarius, virgo, pisces, lying, lies, made up, spoof, spoofing, exaggerating, fake, faking, faker, made up, memory, remember, remembered
The Big Tipper
Tags:space, outer space, science, star, stars, constellation, constellations, big dipper, astronomy, astronomer, astronomers, astrology, astrologer, astrologers, service, customer service, service industry, restaurant, restaurants, bar, bars, tip, tips, tipping, tipping culture, tipper, tippers, big tipper, big tippers, customer, customers, money, word play, wordplay
"I said I'm an astronomer, not an astrologist!"
Tags:astrologist, astrologists, astrology, astronomer, astronomers, astronomy, astrophysics, astrophysicist, astrophysicists, stargazer, stargazers, star-gazer, star-gazers, starsign, starsigns, star sign, star signs, pseudoscience, pseudosciences, pet peeve, pet peeves, hobby, job title, job titles, con, cons, scientist, scientists, psychic, psychics, fortune teller, fortune tellers, fortune, fortunes, horoscope, horoscopes
"My birthday is actually in September, but I've always identified as an Aries."