Attorneys Cartoons

"Innocence is no excuse."

"Who's up for archery waivers?"

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"The Court finds itself on the horns of a dilemma. On the one hand, wiretap evidence is inadmissible, and on the other hand I'm dying to hear it."

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

"Let's be reasonable. Just approve my client, and we'll all be spared a lot of nasty litigation."

"Call my attorney and say that I killed Ted in self-defense. Call my publicist and say that I wish Ted the best of luck in all his future endeavors."

"I can't decide whether to specialize in criminal law or legal punditry."

"Look, I'm not saying it's going to be today. But someday - someday - you guys will be happy that you've taken along a lawyer."

"You can't plead cute."

"Please remind your mom and dad that its not a parent-teacher-attorney conference."

"No, I don't think your decisions are too Draconian. Do you think my decisions are too Draconian?"

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"If you want justice, it's two hundred dollars an hour. Obstruction of justice runs a bit more."

"I'll work on the appeal. You try to escape."

"I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. After that, law school was pretty much a given."

"This firm has a long history of bringing gravitas to frivolous lawsuits."

"Hi. I'm John, your date for this evening. I've brought my résumé and letters of recommendation."

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

"There. Now it's all on paper. Feel better?"

"'Is it right? ... Is it fair?' Get a grip Carlton - we're a law firm!"

"I may be a jackal-headed god of the underworld, Janet, but I'm also your lawyer."

"Honesty is the best policy, Fernbaugh, but it's not company policy."

"I had a pretty sleazy lawyer, but evidently not sleazy enough."

"Did you join the testimony-of-the-month club?"