Bad Date Cartoons

"I converse. You declaim."

"Well, if you can't walk through walls this is where I say goodbye."

"You're certainly a lot less fun since the operation."

"OK, Cynthia, I'll tell you about my hopes and dreams, my joys and my passions. But be forewarned - they all concern a particular sports team."

"We thought we were going out with Laverne and Shirley, but it turned out to be Thelma and Louise."

"I'd love to invite you in, but I need some time to digest everything you told me about the Ottoman Empire."

"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."

"Most of all I love your vulnerability."

"Yeah, well your profile wasn't exactly honest either."

"I see you have a cat."

"I'd like to dedicate this next song to all those who thought they'd loved and lost only to find out years later that it was just some sort of scheduling conflict."

"Suddenly I can't think of anything to chirp."

"Let me interrupt your expertise with my confidence."

"Oh, it's feeding time in Egoville?"

"I don't want to be alone when I'm old, either, so when we're old let's get back in touch."

"I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I saw you jacket."

"Your faucet is running."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"How's this for a romantic moonlit interlude?"

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"I'm not proposing marriage, but I'm not ruling it out, either."

"I rub my body with animal fat and swim around Manhattan."

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

"Careful. Straw in drink is closer than it appears."

"Your hair is chaotic, but you're really quite together."