Bad Excuse Cartoons

"I thought it was legal-I wrote it on a legal pad."

"If it says to add water, and I'm the one who adds it, I'm cooking."

"He's running late this morning. He unexpectedly snapped out of denial."

"My only crime, Denise, was loving you too much. That and embezzling your trust fund."

"I we meet in the woods and anything happens, remember it's just hunting."

"The parking is terrible, so we decided to never do anything again."

"You can't judge my parenting skills by what you see in the lobby."

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"Breakfast will be a little late. Our computer's down."

"Is it simply your unsupported word, or did anyone actually see you on the night in question writing a biography of Jane Austen?"

"I thought I'd stay home today and accept the things I can't change."

"Oh, that wasn't me talking. It was the alcohol talking."

Medical Bracelet

"I never said 'I love you'. I said 'I love ya'. Big difference!"

"If you grant amnesty to people following their conscience everyone will follow his conscience."

"If I've accomplished little, it's because I have giants standing on my shoulders."

"You'll have to excuse me- I'm myself today."

"Because sitting is bad for my health."

"Please forgive Edgar. He has no verbal skills."

"I would have gotten that report to you sooner, but I wasn't held enough as a child."

"On the other hand, if I die next week this isn't a midlife crisis."

"I felt endangered."