Better Cartoons

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"Watch out for his being better at boxing than you."

"You make me want to be a better person than you."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

Welcome to Connecticut.

"I may be biased, but I believe goat cheese is superior."

"Mary, will you stop this insecure nonsense? I didn't say Gladys was superior to you in any way. I only said I was in love with her, for God's sake."

"Give up on things getting better ye who enter here."

"I don't mind getting married for better or for worse as long as it's not a whole lot worse."

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

"Yes, living well is the best revenge, but right now I'd settle just for doing better than my brother-in-law."

"You make me want to be a better man, Olivia. Then maybe I could find somebody else."

"If there really are 70 million other galaxies I definitely lost the office pool."

"If there really are 70 million other galaxies I definitely lost the office pool."

"Twenty bucks says you can't cross the road!"

"I dislike you both the same."

Things-could-be-worse-go-round

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

"Let's see if there's another witch's cottage with a better candy selection."

"I asked You, in the nicest possible way, to make me a better person, but apparently You couldn't be bothered."

"Zach is in the gifted-and-talented-and-you're-not class."

"It was much nicer before people started storing all their personal information in the cloud."

"I'm doing a lot better now that I'm back in denial."

Extreme Vanity Press - Fall, 2007

"Why don't you just stay and work on being a better fish?"