"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"
"But Moses, if I let your people go I'll have to let everybody's people go."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, old testament, exodus, book of exodus, moses, pharaoh, pharaohs, egypt, ancient egypt, israelite, people, let go, everybody, government, governments, politics, lithuania, gorbachev, mikhail gorbachev, communism, communist, communists, soviet russia, soviet union, russia, russian, history, historical, lithuanian independence, sovereignty, problem, problems
THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.
Tags:television, televisions, television show, television shows, television program, television programs, television programmes, television programmes, tv, tvs, tv show, tv shows, tv program, tv programs, tv programmes, tv programmes, t.v., t.v.s, t.v. show, t.v. shows, t.v. program, t.v. programs, t.v. programme, t.v. programmes, watching t.v., watching tv, watching television, animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, bird, birds, bird owner, bird owners, cage, cages, religion, religious, st. francis of assisi, saint francis of assisi, bible, entertainment, sermon, sermons, sermon to the birds, tele-evangelist, tele-evangelists, tele-evangelism, saint, saints, christianity, catholicism, patron saint, patron saints, patron saint of animals, preaching, preacher, preachers
Noah's Ark Paper Airplane
Tags:noah's ark, ark, bible, bible story, biblical, christian, christianity, christians, paper airplane, paper aeroplane, paper airplanes, paper aeroplanes, flood, floods, old testament, genesis, book of genesis, myth, myths, god, religion, religions, religious, free spirit, carefree, wanderlust, paper plane, paper planes, symbolism, animals
"Now we'll need a sitter for New Year's Eve."
Tags:nativity, christmas story, nativity scene, mary, joseph, jesus, baby jesus, christmas, xmas, christmas eve, new years, new year's, new years eve, new year's eve, baby, mum, mom, dad, parent, parents, parenting, new parents, new baby, baby, babies, newborn, newborns, babysitter, sitter, babysitters, sitters, bible, child, children, kid, kids, nanny, nannies, bethlehem, break
"I can't help thinking there's a book in this."
"We made good time. We're already in the valley of the shadow of death."
Tags:car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driving, driver, drivers, transportation, road, roads, roadtrip, roadtrips, road trip, road trips, vacation, vacations, trip, trips, holiday, holidays, sign, signs, road sign, road signs, religion, religious, bible, old testament, psalm, psalms, psalm 23, david, king david, the lord is my shepherd, valley of the shadow of death, death, evil, fear, valley, valleys, shadow, shadows, word play, wordplay
"Instead, let me be your investment advisor and get you eleven-per-cent return, year in and year out, regardless of market conditions."
Tags:david, goliath, investment advisor, investment adviser, investment advisers, investment advisors, investor, investors, investment, investments, money advice, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers, bible, bibles, bible story, bible stories, torah story, torah stories, old testament, war, wars, conflict, conflicts
"'Kchow! Kchow! The roscoe spoke twice, and Mike dodged behind a-' Hang on, wrong book."
Tags:priest, priests, minister, ministers, vicar, vicars, marry, marries, marrying, wedding, wedding ceremony, wedding ceremonies, bible, bible reading, bible readings, biblical, bible story, bible stories, parable, parables, wrong book, wrong books, book, books, mistake, mistakes, mistaken, accident, accidents, accidental, embarrass, embarrasses, embarrassing, faux pas
Moses' Reading Glasses
"This is impossible. Let's take the next boat."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, genesis, book of genesis, noah, noah's ark, ark, arks, the great flood, boat, boats, ship, ships, animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, tortoise, tortoises, turtle, turtles, crowd, crowds, crowded, full, overcrowded, waiting, next, impossible, transportation, public transportation, public transit, bad idea, bad ideas
"Place your left hand on the Bible, raise your right hand, and repeat after me, 'Wow, I can't believe this is happening to me.'"
Tags:swear in, swearing in, inauguration, inaugurations, inaugural ceremony, inaugural ceremonies, president, presidents, presidential election, presidential elections, president-elect, president-elects, january 20th, clinton, bill clinton, surprise, surprises, surprising, bible, bibles, oath, oaths, presidential oath
"Congratulations, Ecological Disaster—it's not often we admit another horseman into the Apocalypse!"
Tags:apocalypse, apocalypses, horsemen, horsemen of the apocalypse, four horsemen of the apocalypse, revelation, revelations, bible, bibles, christian, christians, ecology, ecological disaster, global warming, apocalyptic, rapture, raptures, ecological disasters, global-warming, climate change, climate-change, armageddon, disaster, disasters, environment, environmental damage
"O.K., so the meek shall inherit the earth, and the rich will have a hard time getting into Heaven. But what about the middle class?"
Tags:middle class, class, middle-class, shepherd, meek, meek shall inherit, meek shall inherit the earth, matthew, bible, blessed are the meek, they shall inherit the earth, middle classes, middle-classes, blessed are the gentle, eye of a needle, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, camel go through the eye of a needle, class jokes, middle income, god, jesus, bibles, verse, verses, religion, religious, heaven, heavenly, beatitudes, sermon on the mount
"And the Lord spoke to the children of Israel and said, 'Thou must forswear these practices which are a blasphemy and an abomination in my sight, you know what I'm saying?'"
Tags:religion, religious, church, churches, priest, priests, minister, ministers, pastor, pastors, clergyman, clergymen, reverend, reverends, preacher, preachers, sermon, sermons, bible, biblical, old testament, exodus, book of exodus, deuteronomy, book of deuteronomy, moses, commandment, commandments, ten commandments, 10 commandments, decalogue, casual, informal, understandable, slang, modern language, modern english, modern life, you know
"At least we know where Neil Gorsuch stands on the separation of church and state."
Tags:bible, biblical stories, moses, mount horeb, neil gorsuch, gorsuch, judge, judges, judicial system, religion, religious beliefs, separation of church and state, state, secularism, secular, us law, us constition, legal case, legal cases, law, lawyer, lawyers, conservative christians, conservative christian, conservatives, conservative, republican, republicans, politics, supreme court, justice, associate justice
"Are these microphones, O Lord, on?"
Tags:televangelism, televangelist, televangelists, tv, television, t v, modern, modern life, modernity, modern world, camera, cameras, lights camera, minister, ministerial, pastor, pastors, church, churches, churchs, mic, mics, microphone, microphones, god, gods, lord, lords, christian, christianity, evangelical, evangelism, evangelical christian, american ministry, ministry, bible, biblical, language
"Forget it. We're not stopping again."
Tags:death, war, wars, pestilence, famine, hunger, hungry, pit stop, pit stops, restaurant, restaurants, grim reaper, grim reapers, reaper, reapers, four horsemen, apocalypse, apocalypses, four horsemen of the apocalypse, revelation, new testament, bible, horse, horses, road, roads, stop, stops, break, breaks
"Well, we needed the rain."
Cash / EZ-Pass / Wages of Sin.
Tags:car, cars, auto, autos, automobile, automobiles, barrier, barriers, toll, tolls, levy, levies, toll road, toll roads, road, roads, bible, bibles, christianity, christians, christian, sinners, sinning, romans, old testament, old testaments, wages of sin is death, death, dead, drive, driving, drives
"Is he the God of the Old or the New Testament this morning?"
Tags:god, gods, bible, bibles, old testament, old testaments, new testament, new testaments, businesses, business, office, offices, secretary, secretaries, mood, moods, personality, personalities, grumpy, happy, kind, emotion, angel, angels, heaven, heavens, angel, angels, religion, religions, christian, christianity, jealous god, forgiveness, boss, bosses, angry, anger
"If you've finished reading the tablets, please pass them back to the front."
Tags:bible, bibles, the bible, biblical, moses, ten commandments, commandment, ten commandment, 10 commandments, 10, religion, religious, crowd, crowds, read, reading, pass it back, pass it along, pass along, pass it on, pass on, read, reading, stone tablet, tablet, stone tablets, teacher, teaching, teachers, school, schools, learn, learning, meeting, meetings
Tags:guilt, guilts, guilting, mom, moms, mother, mothers, mum, mums, nag, nags, nagging, passive aggressive, passive aggression, passive aggressiveness, parent, parents, parenting, frustration, frustrations, frustrating, put on a sweater, nice young man, approval, approve, approves, approving, torah, genesis, bible, bible story, bible stories, shpasik, jtoons
"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."
Tags:academia, academic, academics, academically, science, scientific, scientific community, paper, papers, conference, conferences, peer review, peer-review, peer reviewed, peer-reviewed, scientist, scientists, doctor, doctors, health, health, religion, religious, biblical, bible, biblical stories, medicine, medicines, cure, cures, heal, healing, downer, reality check, reality, realistic, realistically, miracle, miracles, miraculous, miraculously, university, universities, higher education, education, educate, educated, tertiary education, academy, college, colleges, jesus, jesus performs a miracle
"Use a five iron!"