"Surprise! It's my birthday."
Tags:birthday, birthdays, shopping spree, shopping sprees, birthday present, birthday presents, present, presents, gift, gifts, shop, shops, shopping, buy, buys, buying, retail therapy, forgot, forget, forgets, forgetful, husband, husbands, spouse, spouses, wife, wives, retail therapy, retailer, retailers
"OMG! I just got born!"
Tags:newborn, newborns, nursery, nurseries, modern life, modern times, social media, social media update, social media updates, text, texts, texting, smartphone, smartphones, smart phone, smart phones, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, mobile, mobiles, phone, phones, addict, addicts, addiction, addictions, maternity ward, maternity wards, nurse, screen time, parent, parents, parenting, generation z, status update, status updates, birth, birthday, birthdays, textspeak, abbreviation, abbreviations, special occasion, special occasions, baby, babies, infant, infants, omg
Tags:narcissist cards, greeting cards, narcissist, narcissists, birthday, birthdays, bon voyage, narcissist cards, bon-voyage, narcissism, greeting card, birthday card, birthday cards, condolence card, sympathy card, sympathy cards, condolences, ego, egos, egotist, egotists, egotistical, self centred, self-centred, self-centered, self centered
A dog looks at birthday cards in increments of seven years.
"Today is my birthday, Kaitlin. Have everyone work extra hard."
Tags:birthday, birthdays, birthday celebration, birthday celebrations, work ethic, work ethics, businessmen, businessman, exec, execs, executive, executives, worker, workers, work-ethic, work-ethics, hard worker, employer, employers, employee, employees, boss, bosses, slave driver, slave drivers, slave-driver, slave-drivers
"This was supposed to be a surprise party for you, but nobody showed up."
"Every year around this time, I ask myself, 'Did I make a dent?'"
Tags:resolution, resolutions, new year, new year's, new years resolution, new years resolutions, impact, make an impact, making an impact, age, ages, ageing, aging, grow old, grows old, growing old, value, life, lives, evaluate, self-worth, self-esteem, self-esteem issue, self-esteem issues, depression, depressed, depressing, anxiety, anxieties, birthday, birthdays, elderly
"Regift the bicycle, Charles, but put this in my Panama pile."
"I'm about to experience the totality of who I am!"
"For your birthday, I've made a list of annoying tics you might want to take care of."
Tags:birthday, birthdays, happy birthday, birthday gift, birthdays gifts, birthday present, birthday presents, getting old, getting older, ageing, bad gift, bad gifts, insult, insults, tic, tics, annoying, irritating, irritation, bad relationship, bad relationships, marital fight, marital fights, domestic, domestics, domestic argument, domestic arguments, spousal dispute, spousal disputes
Tags:narrow escape, narrow escape, surprise, surprises, surprise party, surprise parties, introvert, introverts, antisocial, unsociable, modern life, birthday, birthdays, birthday party, birthday parties, overhear, overhearing, overheard, socialising, socializing, cloak and dagger, annoy, annoyed, annoyance
New from Narcissist Cards, Inc.
Tags:birthday, birthdays, card, cards, letter, letters, greetings, greeting, birthday card, birthday cards, greetings card, greetings cards, narcissist, narcissistic, self interest, self important, self centred, self-centred, self centered, self-centered, message, messages, write, writing, post card, post cards, postcard, postcards
"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, ex, exes, first wife, second wife, ex-wife, ex-wives, second marriage, second marriages, divorcee, divorcees, divorce, divorces, separation, separations, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, insecure, birthday, birthdate, birthdates, password, passwords, computer, computers, technology, modern life
"I'm trying to figure out the right headache-inducing place for my birthday."
"Tell your grandfather how much you like his present and ask him if he still has the receipt."
Tags:return, returns, gift, gifts, present, presents, christmas, x-mas, xmas, unwanted, unwanted gift, unwanted gifts, receipt, receipts, returns department, returns departments, self-interest, self-interested, phone, phones, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, mobile, mobiles, smartphone, smartphones, smart phone, smart phones, exchange, exchanges, exchanging, birthday, birthdays, thankful, grateful, inappropriate, ask permission, asking permission, limited screen time, limiting screen time
"Sh-h-h. It's a birthday card for Liechtenstein. Sign it and pass it on."
"It's a balloon reminder that all joy is fleeting."
Tags:street art, street artists, clown, clowns, circus clown, circus clowns, sad clown, sad clowns, balloon, balloons, party balloon, party balloons, ruined childhood, let down, let-down, child, kid, kids, childhood, childrens entertainers, children's entertainers, childrens entertainer, children's entertainer, part clown, part clowns, depression, depressed, misery, miserable, existential, existential crisis, birthday, birthdays, birthday party, birthday parties, joy is fleeting
"Thank you so much! I'll keep this in my special box of things I can't throw away for fear of hurting someone's feelings."
"Oh, Sid! You should have!"
"I bought the roses. I don't need to smell them."
Tags:rose, roses, stop, stop and smell the roses, cliche, cliches, idiom, idioms, buy, buys, buying, birthday, birthdays, appreciate life, executive, executives, business executive, business executives, board room, board rooms, rich, riches, rich person, rich people, wealth, wealthy, buy happiness, buying happiness, corporate mentality, corporate mentalities
"I realize that each day is a gift. Now it's just a matter of figuring out how to exchange fourteen thousand six hundred of them."
Tags:gift, gifts, grateful, gratitude, gratefulness, life, cynic, cynics, cynical, dark humor, dark humour, exchange, exchanges, exchanging gifts, unwanted, present, presents, middle age, middle aged, midlife crisis, forty, forties, fortieth birthday, 40th birthday, age, birthday, birthdays, waste, wastes, wasted
"Go easy on Jason. He just hit the big one-oh."
"They say the early forties is the new late thirties."
Tags:aging, ageing, getting old, getting older, growing old, growing older, adults, old age, middle age, middle-age, middle-aged, middle-aged, mid-life crisis, midlife crisis, early forties, late thirties, turning 40, turning forty, over the hill, over-the-hill, modern life, wordplay, word play, new, bar, bars, pub, pubs, denial, in denial, nonacceptance, birthday, birthdays
"I spent my thirties doing my twenties, but by the time I was in my forties I was doing my forties."