Birthdays Cartoons

"Surprise! It's my birthday."

"OMG! I just got born!"

Narcissist Cards

A dog looks at birthday cards in increments of seven years.

"Today is my birthday, Kaitlin. Have everyone work extra hard."

"This was supposed to be a surprise party for you, but nobody showed up."

"Every year around this time, I ask myself, 'Did I make a dent?'"

"Regift the bicycle, Charles, but put this in my Panama pile."

"I'm about to experience the totality of who I am!"

"For your birthday, I've made a list of annoying tics you might want to take care of."

Narrow Escape

New from Narcissist Cards, Inc.

"I'm trying to figure out the right headache-inducing place for my birthday."

"Tell your grandfather how much you like his present and ask him if he still has the receipt."

"Sh-h-h. It's a birthday card for Liechtenstein. Sign it and pass it on."

Mole Birthday

"It's a balloon reminder that all joy is fleeting."

"Thank you so much! I'll keep this in my special box of things I can't throw away for fear of hurting someone's feelings."

"Oh, Sid! You should have!"

"I bought the roses. I don't need to smell them."

"I realize that each day is a gift. Now it's just a matter of figuring out how to exchange fourteen thousand six hundred of them."

"Go easy on Jason. He just hit the big one-oh."

"They say the early forties is the new late thirties."

"I spent my thirties doing my twenties, but by the time I was in my forties I was doing my forties."

"I'll give you a hint - it's sold only on TV."