Broadcasters Cartoons

Suckling piglets watching television on mother's back

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

"The following is available to coveted young viewers only."

Joe Franklin

"Good evening, this is Georgi Avelov, your anchorcomrade."

"Thank You For Watching Regular Television."

"It's NBC. They want to know what it's personally worth to us for them to keep 'E.R.' on the air."

"In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen episodes."

"He has the clean precision of Ingres." "Yes, and, even more remarkable, he combines it with the swift emotional delivery of Van Gogh."

"Tonight's top stories—chaos, pandemonium, mayhem, and the latest shenanigans of ____."

"The networks are losing share and you sit there reading?"

"I know what some of you are thinking. You're thinking, 'Ha! He claims to be coming to us live, but he's really on tape.' Well, if that's what you think, I can only say I feel sorry for you."

Supermarket Newscaster

"Evidence of Bigfoot or just some clown?"

"We opened our newscast with the question, 'Did a U.F.O. land on Staten Island?' We can now report that did not happen."

"Breaking news: the news is broken."

This is News Six reporting from the New Jersey Turnpike. Southbound traffic is at a standstill. Now back to the newsroom.

"This is Larry Hawkins, …. On the lawn …... Outside your house."

"You cannot have helped but notice the concerned expression on my face. This is because of some news I have to report."

"Tonight there is no news and recent surveys indicate that that my be good news."

"And now a special report from 'News 4' Science Editor, Dr. Frank Lovell, on how to remove your own gallbladder."

"Fair warning, …. Fair warning … And now, the news."

"When I grow up, I want to be a brilliant TV recapper."

"Like it? It's a Morley Safer."

"He's not a bad person, but he wants to own two TV stations in the same market."