"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"
Tags:moat, moats, castle, castles, enemies, enemy, king, kings, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royals, battlement, battlements, loneliness, lonely, isolation, isolated, shrink, shrinks, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, therapist, therapists, commitment phobia, commitment phobias, cold feet, commitment issue, commitment issues
"Cheap merch will only hold them for so long."
Tags:merch, merchandise, t-shirt, t-shirts, tshirt, tshirts, shirt, shirts, t-shirt gun, t-shirt guns, t-shirt launcher, t-shirt launchers, t-shirt cannon, t-shirt cannons, viking, vikings, knight, knights, guard, guards, riot, riots, castle, castles, medieval, invader, invaders, invasion, invasions, invaded, distraction, distractions, siege, sieges
"I think, Your Majesty, that you are perceived as an élitist."
Tags:king, kings, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royalty, castle, castles, peasant, peasants, citizen, citizens, revolt, revolts, rebellion, rebellions, rebelling, revolution, revolutions, revolting, riot, riots, rioting, mob, mobs, angry mob, politics, history, historical, medieval, politician, politicians, government, governments, perceived, perception, perceptions, elite, elitist, class, social status, unpopular, snob, snobs, snobbish, pompous, aristocracy, aristocrat, aristocrats, noble, nobles, out of touch
Rapunzel's Short-Lived Relationship With Icarus
The Hall Of Mirrors Jeretski Palace, Plovdo
"I still think a simple pedestrian mall would have sufficed."
"I wish you'd do something about the moat."
Tags:king, kings, sovereign, sovereigns, queen, queens, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royalty, castle, castles, moat, moats, pollution, water pollution, litter, trash, rubbish, garbage, junk, floating, clutter, mess, messy, cluttered, clean up, clean-up, housework, chore, chores, cleaning, yard work, yardwork
"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."
"You're right, sir—it is cute. But the last time we let one of these things in the entire kingdom was overrun with ticks, mites, and fleas."
Tags:ancient, history, troy, trojan, trojan horse, greek, greece, horse, horses, dog, dogs, animal, animals, trick, tricks, castle, castles, kingdom, kingdoms, guard, guards, gate, gates, cute, tick, ticks, mite, mites, flea, fleas, disease, diseases, puppy, puppies, stray, strays, stray dog, stray dogs, homeless, carrier, carriers, hiding, hidden, overrun, trojan dog, dangerous, risky, risk, danger, dangers, unsafe
Letting the Cat Out
A miniature Trojan Horse sits out front a sand castle.
"It's not fair - they have a much bigger payroll!"
Tags:king, kings, monarch, monarchs, medieval, defense, defence, castle, castles, fort, forts, attack, attacks, invade, invasion, invasions, invading, invaded, siege, sieges, besieged, fair, unfair, unjust, unbalanced, payroll, payrolls, corporate, corporation, business, businesses, games, games, salary, salaries, employee, employees, knight, knights, army, armies, soldier, soldiers, modern, history, contrast, comparison, comparing
"Come and get it! Ha, ha- just kidding."
Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher
Tags:castle, castles, moat, moats, drawbridge, drawbridges, bridge, bridges, knight, knights, soldier, soldiers, medieval, draw bridge, draw bridges, horse, horses, dish, dishes, plate, plates, cup, cups, pot, pots, dishware, dishwasher, dishwashers, dish washer, dish washer, appliance, appliances, kitchen, kitchens, open, opened, opening
"We are not under siege, Your Majesty. You just have a siege mentality."
Tags:peasant, peasants, soldier, soldiers, medieval, warrior, warriors, siege, sieged, sieges, siege ladder, ladder, ladders, siege tower, tower, towers, siege towers, castle, castles, aide, aides, king, kings, threat, threatened, siege mentality, psychology, insecure, insecurity, ego, egotistical, parallel, parallels
Tags:dragon, dragons, medieval, knight, knights, princess, princesses, royal, royalty, damsel, damsels, lady, ladies, sword, swords, slay, slay the dragon, slaying the dragon, slaying dragons, castle, castles, rescue, rescuing, damsel in distress, women's empowerment, liberation, female empowerment, strong women, strong woman, empowered women, empowered woman, women's liberation, female liberation, gender equality, don't need a man, prince, princes, relationship, relationships, taking control of your own destiny, like that, learning, learn, teach, teaching, fairytale, fairytales, modern life, modern fairytale, modern fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, modern fairy tale, modern fairy tales, role reversal
"This date isn't going well, is it?"
Tags:date, dating, dates, dinner, dine, dinners, meals out, eating out, restaurant, restaurants, castle, castles, first date, first dates, turret, turrets, arrow, arrows, bow, bows, bow and arrow, firing, shooting, shoots, bad, badly, going well, isn't going well, absurd, absurdist, castle on head, head, heads, signal, signals, soldier, guard, soldiers, guards
"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."
Tags:b&b, bandb, b.&.b, bed and breakfast, bed & breakfast, carpathians, carpathian mountains, holiday, holidays, holiday disaster, holiday disasters, misinformation, misinformed, ill-informed, romania, transylvania, transylvaniandracula, draculas castle, castle, vampire, vampires, bram stoker, vamp, blood sucker, blood suckers, castle dracula, bran castle
"Farewell, my liege!"
"The siege was yesterday."
Tags:history, historical, historically, siege, siges, sieged, castle, castles, procrastinate, procrastination, procrastinates, procrastinating, procrastination, deadline, deadlines, missed deadline, missed deadlines, diary, calendar, missed, invade, invaded, invading, invasion, medieval, peasant, peasants
"It's true that I promised you my kingdom for a horse, but I've changed my mind."
Tags:king, kings, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royalty, castle, castles, peasant, peasants, citizen, citizens, promise, promises, broken promise, broken promises, kingdom, kingdoms, horse, horses, trade, trading, negotiating, bargaining, liar, liars, lie, lies, lying, medieval, history, historical, politics, government, governments, changed, change, changes, changing your mind, my kingdom for a horse, shakespeare, william shakespeare, richard iii, play, plays, theatre, theatres, theater, theaters, quote, quotes, poor, poverty, literature
No Smoking in the Castle
Tags:king, kings, royal, royals, royalty, castle, castles, smoking, smoker, smokers, bad habit, bad habits, no smoking, no smoking indoors, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, one rule for all, privilege, privileged, privileges, insult, insults, insulting, insulted, authority, no authority, above the law
Medieval Cat Exits Via Medieval Catflap
Tags:castle, castles, keep, the keep, keeps, king, kings, feudal, feudalism, medieval, medieval history, historical, creature, creatures, undocumented history, griffin, griffins, myththological, mythology, ye olde, olde, england, olde england, guard, guards, cat, cats, pet, pets, domestic, domestic pet, cat flap, cat-flap, cat flap
"If they don't quit complaining, you could threaten them with democracy."
Tags:king, kings, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royalty, castle, castles, peasant, peasants, citizen, citizens, revolt, revolts, rebellion, rebellions, rebelling, revolution, revolutions, revolting, riot, riots, rioting, politics, history, historical, medieval, politician, politicians, government, governments, democracy, democratic, threat, threats, threaten, threatening, empty threat, empty threats, complaint, complaints, complaining, advisor, advisors, adviser, advisers
"Nowadays, they have to share the expense of owning a castle."