"Science is baffled. I hope you're happy."
Tags:check-up, check up, check ups, check-ups, check, checks, doctor, doctors, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, clinic, clinics, physician, physical, physical exam, exam, examination, appointment, appointments, doctor, doctors, healthy, healthily, healthy lifestyle, lifestyle, lifestyles, lifestyle change, get well, get well soon, baffled, baffle, visual gag, line, lines, abstract, squiggle, squiggly, science is
"My question is for the medical examiner."
Tags:law, laws, legal, legality, legalism, legalisms, jury, juries, juror, jurors, jury duty, duty, court, court of law, courts, court room, court rooms, courtroom, courtrooms, judge, judges, judicial, judiciary, foreman, fore, trial, trialled, trialed, trials, excuse, excuses, doctor, doctors, check up, check-up, check ups, check-ups, checkup, checkups, tv, medical examiner, medical examiners, loophole, workaround, selfish, selfishness
"You should relax less."
"Will I still be able to not exercise?"
"All these years, and you haven't listened to a damn thing I've said, have you?"
Tags:obese, obesity, weight problem, weight problems, fat, fatness, weight issue, weight issues, fat epidemic, fat problem, fat problem, obesity problem, fat, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, doctor, doctors, medical advice, checkup, checkups, check up, check ups, check-up, check-ups, physical, physicals
Tags:work-related injury, work-related injuries, injury, injuries, injured, accident, accidents, matador, matadors, bullfighter, bullfighters, bullfighting, bull, bulls, spear, speared, spearing, puncture, punctures, wound, wounds, wounded, doctor, doctors, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, accident, accidents, impaled
"Blood pressure is fine. Now let me just check your pessimism for the 'Times.' "
Tags:blood pressure, pessimism, pessimist, pessimists, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, newspaper, newspapers, newspaper subscription, newspaper subscriptions, subscribe, subscribes, subscribing, motivation, motivations, motivating, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, glass half empty, news, stress, stresses, stressing, stressed out, frightened, frightening, bad news
"But think of all the things you're not going to die of."
Tags:bearer, bearer of bad news, bad news, terminal, terminally, terminal illness, illness, ill, sick, sickness, healthy, medically, doctor, doctors, consultant, consulting, depressed, depressing, depression, mortality, mortal, get well, get well soon, morbid, morbidly, gallows humor, gallows humour, death, dead, dying, die, died, die of, hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, check up, check-up, appointment
"You'll have to be X-rayed, Mr. Jensen. I seem to be picking up Rush Limbaugh."
Tags:rush limbaugh, overweight, right wing, talk radio, conservative, conservatives, republican, republicans, republican party, partisan, partisans, partisanship, heart problem, heart problems, heart attack, heart attacks, clogged arteries, stethoscope, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, gain weight, gains weight, gaining weight, rush, worry, worries, diagnosis, reason to worry, reasons to worry, heart attack risk, heart attack risks
"You've been eating again."
"It's remarkable, Mr. Volmer. You have the clothes of a man half your age!"
Tags:fashions, fashionable, dress sense, dress-sense, unfashionable, middle age, middle-aged, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, fashion sense, denial, denials, physical, physicals, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, doctor, doctors, youthful fashion, youthful fashions, youthful appearance, inappropriate, trend, trends, latest trend, ageing, aging, ageing gracefully, aging gracefully
"You both appear to be in excellent health."
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, cat, cats, feline, felines, cat owner, cat owners, cat lady, cat ladies, hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, examination, examinations, exam, exams, healthy, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, animal doctor, animal doctors, vet clinic, vet clinics, animal hospital, animal hospitals, veterinarian clinic, veterinarian clinics
"You need to get your cholesterol where your sperm count is."
Tags:low sperm count, sperm count, semen, sperm, high cholesterol, doctor, doctors, doctors office, medical, medical center, medical centre, medical centers, medical centres, physical, check up, check-up, blood work, blood tests, test result, test results, hormones, hormone, hormone imbalance, diagnosis, treatment, male infertility, infertile, sexual health, reproductive health, reproductive system, unimpressed, insulted, insult, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, medical advice
"I was just a kid when I got this one."
"And this one is the very first surgical procedure I ever performed."
John W. Wilson 1949-2009 - Forgot to ask his doctor everything he wanted to ask him.
Tags:doctor, doctors, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, forget, forgets, forgetting, forgot, forgotten, absentminded, absentmindedness, absent-minded, absent-mindedness, disease, diseases, diseased, tombstone, tombstones, epitaph, epitaphs, headstone, headstones, fatal error, fatal errors, fatal mistake, fatal mistakes, hypochondriac, hypochondriacs, hypochondria, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, illness, illnesses, gravestone, gravestones, cause of death, diagnosis, prognosis, concern, concerns, concerned
"This is going to be a little invasive."
Tags:appointment, appointments, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, shot, shots, injection, injections, fear of needles, needle phobia, phobia, phobias, invasive, warn, warns, warning, gp, general practitioner, family doctor, bedside manner, procedure, medical procedure, vaccine, vaccines, vaccination, vaccinations
"I can cure your back problem, but there's a risk that you'll be left with nothing to talk about."
Tags:harsh truths, hard truths, hard truth, honest, honesty, check-up, check up, check ups, check-ups, back, backpain, back pain, back-pain, nothing to talk about, nothing, conversation, topic, topics, check, checks, doctor, doctors, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, clinic, clinics, physician, physical, physical exam, exam, examination, appointment, appointments, doctor, doctors, healthy, healthily, healthy lifestyle, lifestyle, lifestyles, lifestyle change, get well, get well soon, fit, fitness
"Have you considered installing a dehumidifier?"
Tags:doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, medical professional, medic, medicine, medicines, fungal, fungi, fungal infection, infection, infected, infest, infested, infestation, mushroom, mushrooms, patient, patients, health, healthy, healthcare, living conditions, quality of life, mould, black mould, care, welfare, health and wellbeing, consultant, check up, check-up, checkup
"You're the picture of health - and by the way, I'm totally in love with you."
"I'm afraid you've had a paradigm shift."
Tags:paradigm, paradigms, paradigm shift, paradigm shifts, diagnosis, diagnoses, diagnose, jargon, business jargon, business speak, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, doctor, doctors, doctor's office, doctors office, physician, physicians, gobbledegook, disease, diseases, rare disease, rare diseases, illness, illnesses
"You don't have to schedule a follow-up visit. You just come back whenever you want."
Tags:doctor, doctors, medicine, hospital, hospitals, gp, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, appointment, appointments, check-up, check up, checkup, check-ups, check ups, checkups, routine checkup, clinic, clinics, health, healthcare, health care, healthy, wellbeing, bar, bars, barman, bartender, bar man, bar men, barmen, bar tender, bartenders, bar tenders, pub, pubs, drink, drinking, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholism, alcoholics
The Wheel of Life
Tags:dental appointment, dental appointments, dentist, dentists, dentistry, wheel of life, life cycle, life cycles, dental health, dentist appointment, dentist appointments, fatalistic, fatalist, fatalists, pessimist, pessimists, pessimistic, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, pie chart, pie charts, dentistry, hate, hates, hating, dentist phobia, dentist phobias, phobia, phobia
"What happened to the hospital gown you were given?"
Tags:klan, the klan, robe, robes, wizard, grand wizard, gnome, gnomes, peasant, peasants, patient, patients, examination room, examination, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, treatment, treating, treatments, gown, gowns, pun, puns, play on words, word play, racism, race, disobedience, disobedient, obedient, obedience, obey, obeyed, check-up, check up, checkup, check-ups, checkups, check ups, hood, hoods, hooded, political, politics, ethnicity, nationality
Lifetime Achievement Awards