"It's a baby. Federal regulations prohibit our mentioning its race, age, or gender."
Tags:baby, babies, it's a boy, it's a girl, child, children, having kids, kid, kids, having children, have children, regulation, regulations, genders, politically correct, political correctness, pc, p.c., pc culture, p.c. culture, federal government, privacy, private, offense, offended, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, nurse, family, families, parent, parents, political
"Hi, Dad. Investment banking wasn't that great after all."
Tags:family, families, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, father, fatherhood, son, sons, return home, returning home, empty nester, empty nesters, living with parents, career, failed career, difficult career, job, work, unemployment, investment banking, business, bank, banks, money, welcome home, suitcase, suitcases, luggage, baggage, doorstep, family home
"All right, so I missed your soccer game. But didn't my assistant send you a lovely fruit basket?"
Tags:parent, parents, parenthood, bad parent, bad parents, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, son, sons, kid, kids, child, childhood, sports, sport, soccer, football, soccer game, football game, too busy, neglect, neglected, neglectful, forgetful, careless, hollywood, rich, famous, wealthy, rich people, wealthy people, convertible, convertibles, driving, drive, car, cars, disappoint, disappointed
"Dumbledore smiled, his eyes twinkling."
Tags:bedtime story, bedtime stories, bedtime reading, bedtime, sleep, going to sleep, sleeping, childrens book, childrens books, childrens literature, kids books, childish, role reversal, reversal of roles, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, reading aloud, reading, read, story, stories, child, children, nostalgia, absurd, weird bedtime routine, weird bedtimes, weird, absurd bedtime story
"Your mother and I love you, Nick, but we'll soon be turning you over to mainland China."
Tags:family, families, parent, parents, children, child, responsible, responsibility, responsibilities, hong kong, hk, colony, colonies, england, english, uk, united kingdom, gb, great britain, britain, china, chinese, one china two systems, dinner, family dinner, dinners, regional, 1997, sovereignty, hypocritical, hypocrite
"Of course mating is natural. It's just not the kind of thing you want to see your parents doing."
Tags:crane, cranes, stork, storks, flamingo, flamingos, bird, birds, parent, parents, parenthood, parenting, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, mate, mates, relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, egret, egrets, embarrassment, embarrassing
"He died young."
Tags:history, historical, egypt, ancient, ancient egypt, egyptian, pyramids, giza, pyramid, tomb, tombs, grave, graves, death, dead, young, youth, died young, age, ages, child, children, kid, kids, pharaoh, pharaohs, king, kings, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royalty, small, tiny, mini, tourist, tourists, tourism, archaeology, archaeologist, archaeologists, archeology, archeologist, archeologists
"I don't want to do something fun for free, I want to do something fun we pay for."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, kitchen, kitchens, free, fun, pay, money, expensive, entertainment, going out, free entertainment, raising children, raising kids, bored, boredom, whining, whinging, complaining, frugal, saving money, cheap, economical
"When you head off to camp, your parents will want to see some separation anxiety."
Tags:child, kid, kids, childhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, camp, going to camp, separation anxiety, lunch time, lunch times, lunch break, lunch breaks, recess, camps, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, overparent, overparenting, helicopter parent, helicopter parents, over-protective, overprotective, over protective, anxiety disorder, anxiety disorders, childhood anxiety disorder, childhood anxiety disorders, pander, pandering, gratify, gratifying, comfort, comforting, attachment, attachment issues, attachment issue
"Not until you've arranged your pillows."
Tags:interior design, interior designer, interior designers, pillow, pillows, throw cushion, throw cushions, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, keeping up appearances, following trends, too many pillows, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, growing up, child rearing, kid, kids, child, household rule, household rules, bad parent, bad parents, bad parenting, mother and daughter, mothers and daughters
"How am I supposed to think about consequences before they happen?"
"When it's over, I'll explain all the pop culture references you didn't get and you can explain all the pop culture references I didn't get."
Tags:pop culture, pop culture reference, reference, references, movie, movies, film, films, cinema, cinemas, audience, audiences, culture, popular culture, cultured, cultures, explain, explained, explanation, child, childish, childhood, nostalgic, nostalgia, generation, generations, generation gap, out of date, outdated, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parental
Slow- Distracted Children
Tags:smartphone, smartphones, smart phone, smart phones, modern technology, modern technologies, phone, phones, cell, cells, cellphone, cellphones, mobile, mobiles, mobile phone, mobile phones, kid, kids, child, childhood, teen, teens, teenager, adolescent, phone addict, phone addicts, phone addiction, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, growing up, slow children, road sign, road signs, traffic sign, traffic signs
Rapunzel in the Morning
Tags:fashion, fashions, fashionable, women, woman, girl, girls, visual gag, visual gags, fairy tale, fairy, tale, fairy tales, fairy story, story, stories, children's story, children's books, kid, kids, child, children, hair, haircare, bad hair, bad hair day, hairday, hair day, hair care, hair-care, bedhead, bed head, bed-head, frizz, frizzy
A store clerk files greeting cards for different types of moms
Tags:card, cards, greeting card, greeting cards, mother's day, happy mother's day, mother's day card, mother's day cards, types of moms, types of mums, types of mothers, kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, soccer, hockey, son, sons, daughter, daughters, retail, consumerism, shopping, staff, clerk, clerks, section, sections, filing, sorting, putting away, organizing, organising
"Can't you see? He needs both of us!"
Tags:break up, break ups, breaking up, break-up, break-ups, split up, splitting up, split ups, split-up, split-ups, separation, separations, divorce, divorces, bad relationship, bad relationships, monster, monsters, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, growing up, child rearing, kid, kids, child, bad parent, bad parents, bad parenting
"I have two mommies. I know where the apostrophe goes."
Tags:elementary, kid, kids, child, childhood, nostalgia, nostalgic, childish, kindergarten, grade, preschool, pre-school, educating, education, teacher, teachers, modern, modern life, modern world, student, students, playful, playfulness, eager, eagerness, eagerly, happy, happiness, patient, patience, book, books, school, schools, schooling, wife, wives, woman loving woman, wlw, lgbt, lgbtq, lgbtq+, inclusive, inclusivity, relationship, married, law, laws, legal, federal, federal law, modern life, modern love
"Now you've got the hang of it!"
Tags:animal, animals, snake, snakes, scare, scary, bite, bitten, snake bite, snake bites, snakebite, snakebites, poison, poisoned, poisonous, venom, venomous, strike, attack, dead, death, child, children, kid, kids, parent, parents, parenting, father, fathers, mother, mothers, motherhood, fatherhood, proud parent, proud parents, son, sons, daughter, daughter, teacher, teachers, teaching, life lessons, life lesson, get the hang of it, got the hang of it
The Big Book of Parent-Child Fights
Tags:children, discipline, books, fights, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, family life, family-life, disciplines, disciplining, child, kid, kids, teen, teens, teenager, parenting guide, parenting guides, parenting book, parenting books, family fight, family fights, child-rearing, child rearing
"Thanks, Pop, but today's kids don't want money, they want leadership."
Tags:leader, leaders, leadership, handout, handouts, cliche, cliches, political speech, political speeches, allowance, allowances, political candidate, political candidates, politician, politicians, motivation, motivations, motivate, motivates, motivating factor, motivating factors, kid, kids, child, children, generation gap, generation gaps
"You see, Thomas, there's a bully at Daddy's office."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, son, sons, bully, bullies, bullying, bullied, office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, stress, stressful, stressing, stressed, anxiety, anxious
"Dad, remember how you bungled the Lorton account?"
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, son, sons, elementary school, primary school, school, schools, guilt, guilty, report card, report cards, bad grades, bad marks, bungle, mistake, mistakes, badly done, messed up
"I hope we can flip it before the tide comes in."
Tags:sand, sands, sandcastle, sand castle, sand castles, sandcastles, build, building, builder, consturction, house flipping, house flipper, flipping, flip it, flipper, fixer upper, invest, investment, property ladder, real estate, realtor, realtors, sale, sales, architecture, architect, beach, beaches, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, seaside, sea, seas, ocean, oceans, house, new house, now home, home, homes, kid, kids, child
"Ever since we got the Border collie, he colors within the lines."
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, dog, dogs, pet owner, pet owners, dog owner, dog owners, border collie, border collies, child, children, kid, kids, colouring, coloring, colour, colors, coloring book, coloring books, colouring book, colouring books, coloring page, coloring pages, colouring page, colouring pages, draw, drawing, crayon, crayons, marker, markers, coloured pencil, coloured pencils, colored pencil, colored pencils, pencil crayon, pencil crayons, line, lines, within the lines, border, borders, watching, watch, guard, guarding, monitor, monitoring, child, children, kid, kids, pet trick, pet tricks, dog trick, dog tricks, wordplay