"Surprise!"
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heaven, heavens, dog, dogs, pet, pets, all dogs go to heaven, all dogs, all dog, good dog, good boy, good boys, childhood, childhood pet, anthro, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism, animals, animal, talking, talking animal, pet, pets, domestic pet, man's best friend, mans best friend, best friend, religious, religion, pearly gates, pearly gate, st peter, saint peter, unexpected"All right, so I missed your soccer game. But didn't my assistant send you a lovely fruit basket?"
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parent, parents, parenthood, bad parent, bad parents, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, son, sons, kid, kids, child, childhood, sports, sport, soccer, football, soccer game, football game, too busy, neglect, neglected, neglectful, forgetful, careless, hollywood, rich, famous, wealthy, rich people, wealthy people, convertible, convertibles, driving, drive, car, cars, disappoint, disappointed"Of course mating is natural. It's just not the kind of thing you want to see your parents doing."
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crane, cranes, stork, storks, flamingo, flamingos, bird, birds, parent, parents, parenthood, parenting, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, mate, mates, relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, egret, egrets, embarrassment, embarrassing"When you head off to camp, your parents will want to see some separation anxiety."
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child, kid, kids, childhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, camp, going to camp, separation anxiety, lunch time, lunch times, lunch break, lunch breaks, recess, camps, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, overparent, overparenting, helicopter parent, helicopter parents, over-protective, overprotective, over protective, anxiety disorder, anxiety disorders, childhood anxiety disorder, childhood anxiety disorders, pander, pandering, gratify, gratifying, comfort, comforting, attachment, attachment issues, attachment issue"It's a really cool game! You're Bill Gates, and you have to fight off the evil agents of the Justice Department before they destroy your planet."
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justice department, geek, geeks, bill gates, department of justice, hostile, hostile merger, hostile mergers, corporate merger, corporate mergers, technology industry, role model, role models, childhood, role-model, role-models, imagination, imaginations, fantasy, anti-trust, antitrust law, antitrust laws, lawsuit, lawsuits, corporate monopoly, corporate monopolies"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."
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tantrum, tantrums, tantrum throwing, tantrum thrower, tantrum throwers, kid, kids, childhood, childhoods, bossy, bossiness, childhood, child raising, child rearing, child-raising, child-rearing, parent, parents, parenthood, parenting, discipline, power dynamic, power dynamics, family dynamic, family dynamics"When it's over, I'll explain all the pop culture references you didn't get and you can explain all the pop culture references I didn't get."
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pop culture, pop culture reference, reference, references, movie, movies, film, films, cinema, cinemas, audience, audiences, culture, popular culture, cultured, cultures, explain, explained, explanation, child, childish, childhood, nostalgic, nostalgia, generation, generations, generation gap, out of date, outdated, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parentalSlow- Distracted Children
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smartphone, smartphones, smart phone, smart phones, modern technology, modern technologies, phone, phones, cell, cells, cellphone, cellphones, mobile, mobiles, mobile phone, mobile phones, kid, kids, child, childhood, teen, teens, teenager, adolescent, phone addict, phone addicts, phone addiction, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, growing up, slow children, road sign, road signs, traffic sign, traffic signs"We won't know till they're older which one is the evil twin."
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twin, twins, evil twin, evil twins, grow up, grows up, growing up, parent, parents, parenting, set of twins, identical twin, identical twins, evil, horror movie, horror movies, horror film, horror films, scary, frighten, frightens, frightening, parenting, personality, personalities, child development, develop, develops, developing, childhood, childhoods, grow old, grows old, growing old, upbringing, upbringings, bring up, brings up, bringing up"I have two mommies. I know where the apostrophe goes."
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elementary, kid, kids, child, childhood, nostalgia, nostalgic, childish, kindergarten, grade, preschool, pre-school, educating, education, teacher, teachers, modern, modern life, modern world, student, students, playful, playfulness, eager, eagerness, eagerly, happy, happiness, patient, patience, book, books, school, schools, schooling, wife, wives, woman loving woman, wlw, lgbt, lgbtq, lgbtq+, inclusive, inclusivity, relationship, married, law, laws, legal, federal, federal law, modern life, modern love"You see, Thomas, there's a bully at Daddy's office."
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relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, son, sons, bully, bullies, bullying, bullied, office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, stress, stressful, stressing, stressed, anxiety, anxious"Damn, Tyler, I thought you'd worked through all that in therapy."
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office worker, office workers, office work, office job, office jobs, therapy, counseling, counselling, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, mental health issue, mental health issues, mental health disorder, mental health disorders, childhood, child hood trauma, childish, childishness jack in a box, jack-in-a-box, teddy bear, teddy bears, teddy, teddies, bear, bears"Dad, remember how you bungled the Lorton account?"
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parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, son, sons, elementary school, primary school, school, schools, guilt, guilty, report card, report cards, bad grades, bad marks, bungle, mistake, mistakes, badly done, messed up"I married money, son, so that you might never have to."
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parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, growing up, child rearing, kid, kids, child, childhood, upbringing, upbringings, fathers and sons, marry money, marrying money, spoilt child, spoilt children, privilege, privileges, privileged, silver spoon, strategic match, strategic matches, gold digger, gold diggers"I'm sorry-his I.Q. is actually on the charts."
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kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, education, school, schools, schooling, teaching, learning, teacher, teachers, student, students, classroom, classrooms, class, classes, raising kids, raising children, parent-teacher interview, parent-teacher interviews, parent-teacher conference, parent-teacher conferences, parent-teacher meeting, parent-teacher meetings, development, childhood, intelligence, iq, i.q., intelligence quotient, score, scores, chart, charts, normal, average, standardised testing, standardized testing, modern education, modern life"Your mother is very fond of you, but she thought that you and your backpack looked suspicious."
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kid, kids, child, childhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, security, terrorism, security check, security checks, suspicious, suspicious person, suspicious people, backpack, backpacks, bag check, bag checks, bag checking, untrustworthy, trustworthiness, security check, security checks, mother, mothers"Your munchkins are always welcome to play in my garden."
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mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, kid, kids, child, children, childhood, women, woman, garden, gardens, backyard, backyards, cactus, cacti, parent, parents, parenthood, neighbor, neighbors, neighbour, neighbours, neighborhood, neighborhoods, neighbourhood, neighbourhoods, neighborly, neighbourlyThe Seven Ages of Man: Sleepy, Happy, Dopey, Bashful, Doc, Sneezy, Grumpy.
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life, stage of life, stages of life, sleepy, sleepiness, infant, infants, infancy, childhood, child, kid, kids, grow up, grows up, growing up, teen, teens, teenager, young adults, adult, adults, adulthood, grown up, middle age, middle aged, senior, senior citizen, senior citizens, chronicle, chronicles, stage, stages, age, ages, ageing, aging"You just march right back in there and keep marching around and around until he sees you're good enough to put back in the marching band."
"You see, darling, he plays a Steinway, just like you."
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steinway piano, piano, famous, famous piano, pianist, pianists, music, musician, musicians, concert, concerts, audience, audiences, mother, mothers, mothering, mothered, kid, kids, child, childhood, instrument, instruments, learn, learning, practice, practising, encourage, encouraging, encouraged, inspire, inspired, inspiration, inspirations, inspirational, encouragement, just like you"She's not very good at defending herself, but she does very well at identifying her feelings."
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kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, defending, defensive, identifying, feeling, feelings, emotion, emotions, psychology, crying, emotional, upset, development, developmental stages, childhood, toddler, toddlers, psychobabble"As I recall from the last session, you were born in Tennessee and raised in the woods, so you knew every tree. Then something happened when you were only three. What was that?"
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therapy, therapist, therapists, shrink, shrinks, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, counselor, counselors, counseling, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, patient, patients, session, sessions, mental health, davy crockett, song, songs, ballad, ballads, theme song, theme songs, music, lyrics, tennessee, coonskin hat, coonskin hats, frontiersman, frontiersmen, folk hero, folk heros, childhood, problems, issues"Don't you dare put Mommy on hold again."
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mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, family, families, phone, phone call, phone calls, cell phone, cell phones, mobile phone, mobile phones, businesswoman, businesswomen, business, professional, working mother, working mom, working mum, working mothers, working moms, working mums