"It's a baby. Federal regulations prohibit our mentioning its race, age, or gender."
Tags:baby, babies, it's a boy, it's a girl, child, children, having kids, kid, kids, having children, have children, regulation, regulations, genders, politically correct, political correctness, pc, p.c., pc culture, p.c. culture, federal government, privacy, private, offense, offended, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, nurse, family, families, parent, parents, political
"Hi, Dad. Investment banking wasn't that great after all."
Tags:family, families, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, father, fatherhood, son, sons, return home, returning home, empty nester, empty nesters, living with parents, career, failed career, difficult career, job, work, unemployment, investment banking, business, bank, banks, money, welcome home, suitcase, suitcases, luggage, baggage, doorstep, family home
"Dumbledore smiled, his eyes twinkling."
Tags:bedtime story, bedtime stories, bedtime reading, bedtime, sleep, going to sleep, sleeping, childrens book, childrens books, childrens literature, kids books, childish, role reversal, reversal of roles, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, reading aloud, reading, read, story, stories, child, children, nostalgia, absurd, weird bedtime routine, weird bedtimes, weird, absurd bedtime story
"Your mother and I love you, Nick, but we'll soon be turning you over to mainland China."
Tags:family, families, parent, parents, children, child, responsible, responsibility, responsibilities, hong kong, hk, colony, colonies, england, english, uk, united kingdom, gb, great britain, britain, china, chinese, one china two systems, dinner, family dinner, dinners, regional, 1997, sovereignty, hypocritical, hypocrite
"Of course mating is natural. It's just not the kind of thing you want to see your parents doing."
Tags:crane, cranes, stork, storks, flamingo, flamingos, bird, birds, parent, parents, parenthood, parenting, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, mate, mates, relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, egret, egrets, embarrassment, embarrassing
"He died young."
Tags:history, historical, egypt, ancient, ancient egypt, egyptian, pyramids, giza, pyramid, tomb, tombs, grave, graves, death, dead, young, youth, died young, age, ages, child, children, kid, kids, pharaoh, pharaohs, king, kings, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royalty, small, tiny, mini, tourist, tourists, tourism, archaeology, archaeologist, archaeologists, archeology, archeologist, archeologists
"I don't want to do something fun for free, I want to do something fun we pay for."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, kitchen, kitchens, free, fun, pay, money, expensive, entertainment, going out, free entertainment, raising children, raising kids, bored, boredom, whining, whinging, complaining, frugal, saving money, cheap, economical
"How am I supposed to think about consequences before they happen?"
"I guess we'd be considered a family. We're living together, we love each other, and we haven't eaten the children yet."
Rapunzel in the Morning
Tags:fashion, fashions, fashionable, women, woman, girl, girls, visual gag, visual gags, fairy tale, fairy, tale, fairy tales, fairy story, story, stories, children's story, children's books, kid, kids, child, children, hair, haircare, bad hair, bad hair day, hairday, hair day, hair care, hair-care, bedhead, bed head, bed-head, frizz, frizzy
A store clerk files greeting cards for different types of moms
Tags:card, cards, greeting card, greeting cards, mother's day, happy mother's day, mother's day card, mother's day cards, types of moms, types of mums, types of mothers, kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, soccer, hockey, son, sons, daughter, daughters, retail, consumerism, shopping, staff, clerk, clerks, section, sections, filing, sorting, putting away, organizing, organising
"Now you've got the hang of it!"
Tags:animal, animals, snake, snakes, scare, scary, bite, bitten, snake bite, snake bites, snakebite, snakebites, poison, poisoned, poisonous, venom, venomous, strike, attack, dead, death, child, children, kid, kids, parent, parents, parenting, father, fathers, mother, mothers, motherhood, fatherhood, proud parent, proud parents, son, sons, daughter, daughter, teacher, teachers, teaching, life lessons, life lesson, get the hang of it, got the hang of it
The Big Book of Parent-Child Fights
Tags:children, discipline, books, fights, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, family life, family-life, disciplines, disciplining, child, kid, kids, teen, teens, teenager, parenting guide, parenting guides, parenting book, parenting books, family fight, family fights, child-rearing, child rearing
"Thanks, Pop, but today's kids don't want money, they want leadership."
Tags:leader, leaders, leadership, handout, handouts, cliche, cliches, political speech, political speeches, allowance, allowances, political candidate, political candidates, politician, politicians, motivation, motivations, motivate, motivates, motivating factor, motivating factors, kid, kids, child, children, generation gap, generation gaps
"You see, Thomas, there's a bully at Daddy's office."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, son, sons, bully, bullies, bullying, bullied, office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, stress, stressful, stressing, stressed, anxiety, anxious
"Dad, remember how you bungled the Lorton account?"
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, son, sons, elementary school, primary school, school, schools, guilt, guilty, report card, report cards, bad grades, bad marks, bungle, mistake, mistakes, badly done, messed up
"Ever since we got the Border collie, he colors within the lines."
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, dog, dogs, pet owner, pet owners, dog owner, dog owners, border collie, border collies, child, children, kid, kids, colouring, coloring, colour, colors, coloring book, coloring books, colouring book, colouring books, coloring page, coloring pages, colouring page, colouring pages, draw, drawing, crayon, crayons, marker, markers, coloured pencil, coloured pencils, colored pencil, colored pencils, pencil crayon, pencil crayons, line, lines, within the lines, border, borders, watching, watch, guard, guarding, monitor, monitoring, child, children, kid, kids, pet trick, pet tricks, dog trick, dog tricks, wordplay
"Why can't you be more like little Hester Prynne? She's getting straight A's."
Tags:hawthorne, nathaniel hawthorne, report cards, report card, grade, grades, bad grade, bad grades, english teacher, english teachers, teacher, teachers, literature, american literature, american lit, schools, the scarlet letter, puritans, education, children, parents, history, olden days, puritan, adulterer, adulterers, jealous, jealousy, high standards, ambitious, ambitiousness, ambition, ambitions
"It's free, but they sell your information."
"Which cupcakes are for boys?"
Caveman Shadow Puppetry Of Pre-Historic Animals
Tags:cave, caveman, prehistory, prehistoric, pre historic, pre-historic, pre-history, cavemen, neanderthal, neanderthals, homo sapien, homo sapiens, homo erectus, early man, early men, stone age, stone-age, stone ages, stone-ages, dark age, dark-age, iron age, iron ages, bronze age, bronze ages, shadow, shadows, puppet, puppets, puppetry, shadow puppet, shadow puppets, shadow puppetry, shadow animal, animal, animals, kid, kids, child, children, entertaining, sabretooth, sabertooth, saber tooth tiger, sabre tooth tiger, dinosaur, dinosaurs, loving, love, happy family, happy families, domestic, domestic scene, family
The Dream Remote
Mom and Dad Really Lose It - 1/4 Mile.
Tags:automobiles, road signs, relationships, family, children, child-rearing, child rearing, vacations, holiday, holidays, family holiday, family holidays, family vacation, family vacations, discipline, vacations, mothers, fathers, rod trip, road trips, family outing, family-life, family life, parent, parents, long journey, are we there yet
"Now we'll need a sitter for New Year's Eve."
Tags:nativity, christmas story, nativity scene, mary, joseph, jesus, baby jesus, christmas, xmas, christmas eve, new years, new year's, new years eve, new year's eve, baby, mum, mom, dad, parent, parents, parenting, new parents, new baby, baby, babies, newborn, newborns, babysitter, sitter, babysitters, sitters, bible, child, children, kid, kids, nanny, nannies, bethlehem, break