"Listen, everybody feels a little depressed around this time of year!"
Tags:santa, santas, father christmas, st nick, saint nick, saint nicholas, st nicholas, kris kringle, kris-kringle, santa claus, depressed, depression, holiday, holidays, christmas, christmases, christmas depression, mental health, therapy, therapies, irony, ironic, psychology, psychologist, psychologist, shrink, shrinks, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, therapist, therapists, counselor, counselors, analyst, psychoanalyst
"Happy Mother's Day, Mom. And ditto for Thanksgiving and Christmas."
Tags:family, families, parent, parents, mom, mum, mums, mother, mothers, moms, greetings, celebrate, happy mothers day, happy mother's day, happy christmas, christmas, happy thanksgiving, event, events, events, lazy, distant, distance, executive, executives, businessman, businessmen, call, calling, wishes, busy, business
The Perfect Holiday Card
"I see. And precisely what methods did you use to determine that my client was a 'bad boy'?"
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, st. nicholas, saint nick, saint nicholas, bad boy, bad boys, bad guy, bad guys, defense attorney, defense attorneys, trial, trials, naughty boys, naughty childrens, santa's list, defendant, defendants, christmas, xmas, x-mas, christmas season
"Why don't we make it simple this year, and just give everyone the finger?"
Tags:christmas, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, shop, shops, shopping, holiday season, holiday seasons, xmas, x-mas, simplify, simplifies, homemade gift, homemade gifts, gift idea, gift ideas, present idea, present ideas, holiday stress, stress, stressing, stressful, anxiety, anxieties, holiday shopping
Tags:hanukkah, christmas, tree, christmas tree, festival of lights, festival of dedication, chanukah, dreidal, menorah, candle, candles, candle lighting, winter, winter wonderland, snow, snowing, forest, chopping down trees, tree decorating, tree decorations, christians, christian, christianity, jewish, judism, celebrations, religion, religious, multi religion, traditions, traditional, family traditions, shpasik, jtoons
"Still, this beats my old job working at Wal-Mart."
Tags:retail, working in retail, christmas time, christmas, christmas job, christmas jobs, elf, elves, santas elves, santa's elves, santas workshop, santa's workshop, bad job, bad jobs, job satisfaction, new job, new jobs, low standards, modern life, modern attitudes, low pay, minimum wage, underpaid, bad management, working conditions, working hours, workers rights
"No, no, Timmy. Not that one. I'm saving that one for last."
"It starts earlier every year."
Tags:christmas, christmas season, holiday season, holiday, holidays, retail, retailer, retailers, commercialism, commercialist, santa, santas, santa claus, father christmas, charity, charities, fundraising, fundraiser, fundraisers, start early, starts early, starting early, raise money, raises money, raising money
"Lookin' good, Frosty!"
Tags:holiday, holidays, weight gain, weight loss, gain weight, gains weight, gaining weight, lose weight, losing weight, lost weight, compliment, compliments, complimenting, diet, diets, dieting, new year's resolution, new years resolution, resolution, resolutions, christmas, christmas season, snowman, snowmen, frosty, christmas song, christmas songs
"Now we'll need a sitter for New Year's Eve."
Tags:nativity, christmas story, nativity scene, mary, joseph, jesus, baby jesus, christmas, xmas, christmas eve, new years, new year's, new years eve, new year's eve, baby, mum, mom, dad, parent, parents, parenting, new parents, new baby, baby, babies, newborn, newborns, babysitter, sitter, babysitters, sitters, bible, child, children, kid, kids, nanny, nannies, bethlehem, break
"What a Christmas! First the North Pole melts, then all the elves get laid off."
"I'll be on Fifth Avenue, pressing my cold little nose wistfully against shop windows."
Tags:fifth avenue, shop, shops, shopping, shop window, shop windows, christmas shopping, poor, poverty, living in poverty, life of poverty, want, wants, need, needs, desire, desires, desiring, desirous, window shop, window shops, window shopping, window shopper, window shoppers, christmas, consumer, consumers, consumerism, wealth gap, wealth gaps, income gap, income gaps, rich, riches, rich people, rich person
"Me? I'm just here for the babes."
Tags:opera, operas, operetta, operettas, musical, musicals, toy soldier, toy soldiers, babes in toyland, toyland, babe, babes, toy, toys, double meaning, double meanings, christmas, christmas movie, christmas movies, christmas film, christmas films, motivate, motivates, motivation, motivations, motivating, entrance, entrances, play, plays, playhouse, playhouses, theatre, theatres, theater, theaters
"Yes, I'm somewhat depressed, but seasonally adjusted I'm probably happy enough."
Tags:depression, psychology, winter, seasons, christmas, holidays, seasonal depression, seasonally depressed, seasonal affective disorder, sad, mood, moods, bad mood, bad moods, melancholy, happy, happiness, holiday season, holiday seasons, christmas season, christmas seasons, relative, relatively, mankoff
"Is it any wonder you got coal in your stocking?"
"We had the usual exchange of gifts-she gave me this diamond collar, and I ate all my dinner."
"This year, we just decided to give money to ourselves."
Tags:christmas, xmas, yule, noel, shopping, christmas shopping, shopper, shoppers, money, finances, personal finances, gift, gifts, present, presents, gift-giving, exchanging gifts, exchanging presents, holiday, holidays, consumerism, commercialisation, commercialization, retail, frugal, cheap, saving money, cutting costs
"Catherine would like to share some holiday thoughts with us on the subject of gender-neutral toys."
Tags:gender neutral, holiday, holidays, christmas, christmas season, holiday season, dinner, dinners, politically correct, political correctness, speech, speeches, liberal, liberals, address, addresses, addressing, christmas dinner, christmas dinners, xmas, x-mas, pc, pc culture, politically correct culture, pray, prays, praying, prayer, prayers, modern life, modern times
"Gentlemen: This is a follow-up on our recent Christmas card."
"We love Santa, but Santa didn't know as much about investing as he thought he did."
"With the cost of heating oil at an all-time high, perhaps you now regret exchanging those sensible Christmas sweaters for the fleeting amusement of toys."
Tags:heating oil, christmas, christmas sweater, christmas sweaters, justification, justifications, justify, trade, trades, instant gratification, amusement, toy, toys, lesson, lessons, life lesson, life lessons, practical, practicality, jumper, jumpers, christmas jumper, christmas jumpers, dad, dads, father, fathers, parent, parents, build character, building character, builds character, freezing, freeze, freezes
"No giblets, but there's an organ-donor card."
"We bring gold and frankincense. The myrrh is in the mail."
Tags:jesus, baby jesus, birth of christ, nativity, the nativity, christmas, first christmas, the first christmas, three kings, the three kings, the three wise men, three wise men, 3 wise men, christianity, christian, christian, delay, delays, in the mail, mail, the mail, parcel, parcels, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, ordering, online order, online orders, online shopping, online shopper, online shoppers, delivery, deliveries