"Still, this beats my old job working at Wal-Mart."
Tags:retail, working in retail, christmas time, christmas, christmas job, christmas jobs, elf, elves, santas elves, santa's elves, santas workshop, santa's workshop, bad job, bad jobs, job satisfaction, new job, new jobs, low standards, modern life, modern attitudes, low pay, minimum wage, underpaid, bad management, working conditions, working hours, workers rights
"Why do they all gain those extra pounds at the exact same time of the year?"
Tags:christmas, christmas weight, christmas time, season's greetings, happy holidays, merry, happy, holiday, holidays, seasonal, vacation, vacations, weight, weight gain, food, foodie, foodies, food lover, food lovers, thanksgiving, turkey, turkey weight, winter, winter weight, fat, fatter, fattening, health, healthy, healthy lifestyle, lifestyle, moderation, fit, fitness, fitter, atlas, myth, mythology, mythological, greek, grecian, greek myth, greek myths, atlas, globe, the world
Tags:security, security guard, security, metal detector, scanner, body scanners, santa, santa claus, father christmas, christmas, christmas time, santas grotto, santa's grotto, modern life, modern attitudes, mall santa, mall, malls, shopping malls, shopping mall, shopping center, shopping centers, shopping centre, shopping centre, full body scanner, security body scanner, over cautious, overcautious, elf, elves, santa's elves, santas elves, north pole, the north pole
Snowman Tips Hat... And Head.
Tags:gentlemen, gentleman, chivalry, chivalrous, etiquette, polite, politely, politeness, manner, manners, gentlemanly, manly, hat tip, tip hat, tipped his hat, m'lady, weather, cold weather, snow, snowing, snowy, snowman, snowmen, snow man, snow men, jolly, christmas, christmas time, winter time, white christmas, merry christmas, happy holidays
"I hope that isn't real fur."
Tags:vegan, veg, vegans, veggie, vegetarian, vegetarians, cruelty, cruelty free, cruelty-free, fur, fur industry, santa, santa's grotto, grotto, santa clause, santa claus, claus, animal rights, animal rights activist, fur ban, happy holidays, play on words, word play, word-play, modern, modern life, modern world, kids these days, kids say the darndest things, kid, kids, child, childhood, awareness, aware, christmas, christmas time, merry christmas
"Come on, baby—just this once! It's been forever since we got stoned and went out carolling!"
Tags:bedroom scene, bedroom scenes, middle age, middle aged, middle-age, middle-aged, mid life crisis, mid life crises, mid-life crisis, mid-life crises, carol, carols christmas carol, christmas carols, carol singer, carol singers, carolling, christmas, christmas time, immature, immaturity, taking drugs, doing drugs, stoned, getting stoned, beg, begging, getting old, getting older
Only 1248 More Shopping Days Till the Millennium
"I'd like to see old Ho-Ho-Ho try to assemble one of these damn toys."
"It's safe to open the door. They're singing Christmas-carol parodies."
"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."
Tags:christmas, christmases, christmas time, winter, winters, naughty and nice, naughty list, the naughty list, present, presents, christmas presents, christmas present, father christmas, santa claus, toy, toys, child, kid, kids, childhood, childhood christmas, childhood christmases, list, lists, cross, crossed, been crossed, revenge, vengeful, get revenge, getting revenge, anger, angry, give up, given up, giving up, apathy, apathetic, lazy, laziness, north pole, the north pole
a Lump of coal
Tags:christmas, christmas movie, christmas movies, christmas time, christmas stocking, christmas stockings, stocking, stockings, christmas present, christmas presents, feel good movie, feel good movies, feel-good movie, feel-good movies, christmas movie, christmas movies, depressing, miserable, lump of coal, lumps of coal, naughty list, the naughty list, cinema, cinemas, movie theater, movie theaters, movie theatre, movie theatres, stocking filler, stocking fillers
Tags:christmas, christmas time, christmas tree, christmas trees, christmas decoration, christmas decorations, festive cheer, sword fight, sword fights, sword, swords, sword fighting, en garde, on your gaurd, challenge, challenges, high spirits, pine tree, pine trees, pine, pines, pine needle, pine needles
Tags:christmas, christmas time, christmas season, festive season, christmas tree, christmas trees, christmas decoration, christmas decoration, christmas light, christmas lights, inconvenience, inconveniences, bah humbug, scrooge, scrooges, chirstmas mad, christmas obsession, christmas obsessions, christmas fanatic, christmas fanatics, husband and wife, husbands and wives
"That's funny. For some reason, I always thought of him as a liberal."
Tags:christmas, christmas time, father christmas, santa, santa claus, santa's sleigh, santa sleigh, bumper sticker, bumper stickers, right wing, right wing ideology, right wing politics, mistaken, misjudge, misjudging, misjudgement, misjudgements, republican, republicans, anti-communism, anti-communist, anti communism, anti communist, un, united nations, political ideas, political slogan, political slogans, nationalism, isolationism, make america great again, donald trump, trump supporter, trump supporters
Tags:humbug, christmas, christmas time, christmas spirit, the christmas spirit, scrooge, bah humbug, kill joy, kill joys, winter, winter holiday, winter holidays, winter festivities, exaggerate, exaggeration, outraged, outrage, unreasonable, christmas day, surprise, surprises, unexpected, a christmas carol, charles dickens
"I'm like most people, I guess––a mixture of good and bad."
Tags:santa, santas, father christmas, santa claus, mall santa, mall santas, shopping centre, shopping centres, shopping centers, shopping centers, shopping mall, shopping malls, visit santa, santas grotto, santas grottos, santa's grotto, santa's grotto, naughty list, the naughty list, santas list, santa's list, chistmas, christmas time, christmases, christams season, good and bad, personality, personalities, self aware, self awareness, self-aware, selfaware, child, kid, kids childhood, behaviour, behaving, christmas list, christmas lists
"Santa Claus is no longer part of my belief system."
"Was I upset when you gave me a full day of beauty?"
Tags:couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, bad relationship, bad relationships, fitness, unfit, exercise, exercising, exercise machine, exercise machine, insult, insults, overweight, criticism, criticising, gift, gifts, christmas, christmas time, christmas gift, christmas gifts, present, presents, christmas presents, christmas present
"Not a chance."
Tags:boardroom, boardrooms, meeting, meetings, business meeting, business meetings, board meeting, board meetings, vote, voting, party, parties, work party, work parties, office party, office parties, party hat, party hats, disagree, disagreement, in disagreement, refuse, refusal, controversial, disagreeing, disagreements, killjoy, killjoys, spoilsport, spoilsports, birthday, birthdays, christmas, christmas time
"Oh dear! And we didn't send them a card!"
Tags:christmas time, christmas card, christmas, chirstmas cards, social obligation, social obligations, over the top, competition, competitive, competitiveness, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, middle age, middle aged, middle-age, middle-aged, mid life crisis, mid life crises, mid-life crises, mid-life crisis, expectation, expectations, modern expectation, modern expectations
Man clears up wrapping paper with a leaf blower.
Tags:leaf blower, leaf blowers, suburbs, suburban life, suburbia, middle class, middle classes, middle age, middle aged, christmas, christmas time, christmas day, christmas morning, wrapping paper, gift wrapping, mess, christmas present, christmas presents, lazy, laziness, modern life, christmas gift, christmas gifts, gardener, gardeners
Extra Large Christmas Tree
Tags:christmas tree, christmas trees, christmas time, christmas, big christmas tree, oversized christmas tree, christmas decoration, chirstmas decorations, too big for the door, doorway, doorways, tight doorway, tight doorwats, small doorway, small doorways, first world problems, tall christmas tree, tall christmas trees, mistake, mistakes, misjudge, misjudgement, wrong, size, wrong measurements, bad measurements
Santa gets a Christmas themed tattoo.