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"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."
"I don't show up here as much as I'd like, Doctor, but I always try to catch your stuff on the air."
"To hell with you, too."
"How can I love my enemies when I don't even like my friends?"
Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?
"Hey, man, you didn't have to mention me by name."
"So I'll have to believe it so see it?"
"You should do a sermon on the dangers of stupidity."
"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven
"We are gathered here today to honour those without bone spurs."
"I just want to take a minute today to acknowledge all the guys out there named Bret who are too shy to correct people who think their name is Brad."
Worship 10 A.M.
"I really liked that stuff you were saying about all of us being sinners and how we're damned for eternity."
"Before we end service today, just a reminder to you good Christians to vote for Roy Moore in the Senate race."