Cocktail Bar Cartoons

"But enough about my body. Let's talk about your body."

"Do you have a reservation?"

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"When I first learned that men and women have significantly different ways of thinking, I said, 'Excellent! This calls for a drink!' "

"May I suggest, bartender, that instead of watching this silly sporting event we switch over to a rather important documentary now on Channel 13?"

"I'm thinking of stopping a podcast."

"If you have one more round it's considered a main dish."

"I tried being myself, but it wasn't getting me anywhere."

"I don't know—somehow, when John Travolta says 'Look at me,' it's different."

"In addition to our house vodka, we carry these distinctive imports: Gilbey's, Gordon's, Wolfschmidt, and Fleichmann's."

"What's the opposite of a multiple personality?"

"I'm Walter Grimes and I approve this drink."

"Last night, I tried out some new stuff, but tonight I'm only drinking the classics."

"We pointed, but we never clicked."

"Thank god Nader's back! I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to throw away my vote."

"Tell him to fetch his own damn slippers."

"You want to run a tab?"

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

Complaints Desk

"Careful. Straw in drink is closer than it appears."

"Actually, I'm not a New York Yankees fan. I'm a New York Yankees cap fan."

"Have you ever had the feeling you forgot to turn something off?"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Actually, right now I'm in retox."

Eating the Cocktail Olive