Cocktails Cartoons

"Me? I'm just one of those shadowy figures who inhabit the mysterious twilight world where the medical and legal professions meet."

It's Hell, but at least It's White-Collar Hell

"Scotch and toilet water?"

"Susan Faludi would like to buy you a brewski."

Fall Classic

"Do you have any tooth-whitening vodka?"

"Look, Nixon's no dope. If the people really wanted moral leadership, he'd give them moral leadership."

"Citizen of the World, Wine Connoisseur, Husband. I may be spreading myself too thin."

Mimosa's Witnesses

"Grace and polish, all bundled up together in one man?"

"Of course, that was long ago, but at the time it seemed like the present."

“Biggers, two more Luau Sizzlers for Annie and me and another Fog Cutter for Mrs. Grindstaff.”

The Lesser Pyramids

"When I first learned that men and women have significantly different ways of thinking, I said, 'Excellent! This calls for a drink!' "

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

"Are you feeling all right, René? You haven't had an aperçu all night."

"I'm thinking of stopping a podcast."

"If you have one more round it's considered a main dish."

Mediterranean Martini

"I feel like all of a sudden my entire life is in the hands of some guy named Poindexter."

"That'll be twenty even—ten for the wine and a ten-dollar tax on the hapless sweater."

"I tried being myself, but it wasn't getting me anywhere."

"I don't know—somehow, when John Travolta says 'Look at me,' it's different."

"In addition to our house vodka, we carry these distinctive imports: Gilbey's, Gordon's, Wolfschmidt, and Fleichmann's."

"Do I have to take sides between Ed Koch and Donald Trump?"