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"If I knew where I'd lost the sponge, it wouldn't be lost, now, would it?"
"Everyone wants to known what Jesus would do. No one ever asks how Jesus is feeling about his complicated relationship with his father."
"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."
"Now over to the weather desk for a detailed report."
"The problems will remain the same, but apparently they get wordier and wordier."
"We are not buying a refrigerator with a learning curve."
"Do you have a phone that doesn't do too much?"
"I told him to lay off the high-fibre diet."
"People are inherently complicated, and if you eat it late enough at night, cereal can be dinner and breakfast!"
"If it's any consolation it was not the virus."