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"If you didn't want to feel inferior to your classmates, you shouldn't have gone to such a good school."
Congratulations- Wholehearted/Tinged with Envy
"You might want to review the chapter on unconditional love."
"Will you be our surrogate?"
"Our next award is for spectacular failure."
"Mr. Berkowitz, I and my Jewish career counselor, hereby wish you a mazel tov on your birthday."
Graduation Day At Telekinesis School
"Hey, and I hear congrats are in order for earning 'Super Elite' status in elevator miles!"