"Congratulations! Now you get to eat bugs!"
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, baby, babies, birth, animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, bird, birds, talking bird, talking birds, baby bird, baby birds, chick, chicks, hatching, congratulations, food, bug, bugs, insect, insects, solid foods, solid food, development, stages of development, growing up, raising kids, raising children
"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."
Tags:father, fathers, fatherhood, son, sons, kid, kids, children, mother, mothers, mom, moms, mum, mums, new mom, new mum, new dad, new dad, new parent, new parents, congratulations, congratulations, anti natalism, anti-natalisim, antinatalism, anti familial, expectation, expected, expectations, parenting, parental, parenthood, guilt, guilt trip, guilt-trip, guilty, impossible standards, high standards, impossible, impossible goal, impossible goals, unattainable, unreasonable, unreasonable expectation, sardonic, comment, commentary, stereotype, stereotyping, stereotypes, passive aggressive, guilt, guilts, guilting, guilt-inducing
"Your daughter has 'I have something to share' syndrome."
Tags:father, fathers, fatherhood, son, sons, kid, kids, children, mother, mothers, mom, moms, mum, mums, new mom, new mum, new dad, new dad, new parent, new parents, congratulations, parenting, parental, parenthood, school, pre-school, kindergarten, kindergartens, kindergartener, kindergarteners, overshare, overshares, oversharer, oversharing, sharing, share, tmi, too much information, something to share, talk, talking, chatter, chattering, chatty, precocious, precocious, annoying, annoy, irritating, teacher, teachers, teaching
"If you didn't want to feel inferior to your classmates, you shouldn't have gone to such a good school."
Tags:college, college grad, graduate, graduation, congratulations, congrats, inferiority complex, inferior, inferiority, university, alumni, alunmus, news, success, reunion, successful, impostor, impostor syndrome, magazine, magazines, superiority, superior, regret, regrets, regretting, modern, modern life, self assured, self assurance, self-assured, self-assurance, modern life, married, married life, age, ageing, aged, mid life, mid-life, mid life crisis, mid-life crisis
"You were an accident."
Tags:crash, crash test, test dummy, dummy, crash test dummy, test dummy, safety test, safety tester, safe, safer, parent, parents, parenting, parental, parenthood, accident, accidents, accidental, kid, kids, child, children, childhood, new mom, new moms, hypocrite, hypocritical, hypocrites, new mother, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, new parent, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, motherhood, new dad, new dads, new father, new fathers, congratulations, accidental pregnancy, pot calling the kettle black
Congratulations- Wholehearted/Tinged with Envy
Tags:congratulations, congrats, congratulate, congrats, celebration, celebrate, wholesome, sincere, insincere, envy, envious, jealous, jealousy, resent, resentful, celebrations, card, cards, letter, envelope, letters, envelopes, wishes, present, presents, friend, family, enemy, frenemy, resent, bitter, bitterness
"Job! I hear you've got a book out!"
Tags:bible, biblical, job, book of job, christian, christianity, christians, writer, writers, author, authors, novelist, novelists, old testament, the old testament, suffering, modern times, modern attitudes, modern life, greeting, greetings, congratulate, congratulations, congratulating, achievement, achievements
"I did my job, I grabbed my pile, and yet no voice at eventide has cried 'Well done!'"
Tags:businessmen, businessman, corporate culture, corporate environment, greedy, greediness, corporate greed, corporate greeds, congratulation, congratulations, well done, well-done, eventide, job, jobs, good job, career, careers, career path, career paths, appreciation, self confidence, self-confidence, self-esteem, self esteem
"You might want to review the chapter on unconditional love."
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, mom, moms, mum, mums, new mom, new mum, new moms, mother, mothers, motherhood, new mother, congratulations, congrats, unconditional love, discipline, disciplined, chair, time out, time-out, naughty step, naughty corner, children, child, kid, kids, kids say the darnedest things, book, books, review the chapter
"It says, 'Congratulations! You've been chosen as a finalist to be King of England.'"
Tags:congratulations, congratulate, congratulating, england, englands, king of england, junk mail, mailer, mailers, next in line, throne, thrones, sweepstakes, you may already be a winner, mail, mails, circular, circulars, royal, royals, royalty, finalist, finalists, scam, scams, royal family, royal families, royalty
"They tell me you're a nincompoop, Henderson, but you certainly do know how to maintain a crease."
Tags:idiot, idiots, idiocy, priority, priorities, business, hiring, hired, hire, new hire, new job, desk job, business fashion, formal business, business attire, attire, interview, interviewed, press, pressed, suit press, pressed suit, crease, creases, creased, maintain, maintenance, incompetent, incompetence, management, manager, managing, nincompoop, modern life, modern world, talent, talents, value, values, dress, dress the part, fake it, fake it til you make it, employ, employed, new job, new career, congratulations
A woman looks at greeting cards in a section entitled "New Pie".
"I'd like to congratulate you on dying with dignity."
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, afterlife, heaven, heaven's gate, entrance to heaven, st. peter's gate, saint peter's gate, pearly gates, st. peter, saint peter, angel, angels, dying, dying with dignity, dignity, fashion, men's fashion, fashionable, well-dressed, top hat, top hats, tuxedo, tux, tuxedos, tuxes, suit, suits, morning coat, morning coats, bow tie, bow ties, men's clothing, men's clothes, clothing, clothes, congratulate, congratulations, congratulating, outfit, outfits
"You always rush out and high-dive me when I homer. How 'bout a bug when I whiff?"
Tags:whiff, whiffs, homer, homers, home run, home runs, baseball jargon, baseball match, baseball matches, baseball game, baseball games, baseball player, baseball players, teammate, teammates, team mate, team mates, congratulation, congratulations, commiseration, commiserations, strike out, striking out, strikes out, struck out
"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."
Tags:graduation, graduations, college, colleges, university, universities, college graduation, college graduations, university graduation, university graduations, congratulations, financial plight, financial plights, finances, money, donation, donations, alumni, diploma, diplomas, certificate, certificates, ceremony, ceremonies, graduation ceremony, graduation ceremonies, commencement, commencements, commencement ceremony, commencement ceremonies, dean, deans, education, graduating, graduate, graduates, student, students, former student, former students, higher education, problem, problems, financial problem, financial problems, remember, fundraising, debt, student debt, institution, institutions, school, schools, begging, asking
"Will you be our surrogate?"
Tags:lgbt, lgbtq, lgbtq+, lgbt+, statistical, statistically, represented, representation, representational, balance, balanced, equality, equal, equals, couple, couples, changing, changing world, liberal, liberals, modern, modern world, issuer, issues, proposal, propose, proposed, happy, happiness, love, loving, congratulations, congrats, surrogacy, new baby, new parent, new parents, new family, parent, parently, family
"Congratulations! It's a Beanie Baby."
Tags:waiting, waiting room, waiting rooms, waiting area, waiting areas, hospital, hospitals, doctor, doctors, obstetrician, obstetricians, ob/gyn, medicine, medical, maternity ward, maternity wards, birth, born, childbirth, baby, babies, new baby, new babies, parent, parents, new parent, new parents, parenthood, parenting, father, pregnancy, fathers, fatherhood, new father, new fathers, dad, dad, new dad, new dads, congratulations, good news, toy, toys, stuffed toy, stuffed toys, stuffed animal, stuffed animals, soft toy, soft toys, fad, fads, trend, trends, trendy
"We've come to spoil the broth."
Tags:phrase, phrases, well known phrases, saying, sayings, well known saying, well-known, too many cooks, cooks, too many, chef, chefs, too many cooks spoil the broth, obscene amount of cooks, crazy numbers of cooks, cooking, cooks, cookery, congratulations, congratulate, spoil, spoiled, spoiling, broth, soup, soups, helping, help, helping hand, helping hands, not helping, obstruct, obstructing
Tags:congratulations, wedding, weddings, marriage, marriages, confetti, unhappy marriage, unhappy marriages, bridesmaid, bridesmaids, jealous, jealous, sarcasm, sarcastic, break up, break ups, breaking up, break-up, break-ups, split up, splitting up, split ups, split-up, split-ups, separation, separations, bad relationship, bad relationships, envy, envious
"Dammit! I swallowed another one!"
Tags:storks, stork, babies, baby, new born babies, new born baby, congratulations, birth, birthday, deliveries, delivery, flies, fly, insect, insects, incompetence, compensation, swallowed a fly, swallow, malpractice, medical malpractice, medical insurance, obstetrics, obstetricians, obstetrician, deliveryman, delivery men
"There are no medical or pension benefits, but the employees' lounge has excellent free coffee."
Tags:benefit, benefits, medical, dental, insurance, insured, severance, free, freebies, pension, pensions, bonus, bonuses, dental, medical, new job, new career, career change, congratulations, personnel, human resources, hr, h r, corporate, corporations, businessmen, business men, businessman, business man, modern life, modern world, working world, capitalism, coffee, free coffee, lounge, employee, employee benefits
"At high noon I'm takin' her to the zoo. How's one-thirty?"
Tags:slang, cowboy, cowboys, cow boy, cow boys, wild west, west, western, westerns, old west, wild wild west, horseback, horses, horse, pony, pony express, ye olde, modern, modern life, modernity, yehaw, cowboy hat, hat, 10 gallon hat, ten gallon hat, father, fatherhood, dad, dads, new dad, new baby, congratulations, single father, single dad, stay at home dad, stay at home, zoo, parent, parents, parental, parenting, kid, kids, babies
"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"
Tags:grant, grants, small grant, research grant, research grants, study grant, study grants, student, students, scientist, scientists, historian, historians, researcher, researchers, congratulations, over the top, celebrations, celebrating, no money, funding, research funding, poor, intellectual, intellectuals, academia
"Our next award is for spectacular failure."
Tags:trophies, trophy, award, awards, fail, failure, failed, failing, participation award, participation trophy, participation trophies, celebration, celebrating, graduate, graduation, graduates, cap and gown, graduation ceremonies, graduation ceremony, scholar, scholars, graduate, graduates, graduate, congrats, congratulations, mediocre, reward, rewarding, rewards, rewarding mediocrity