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"I love these bipartisan gatherings, don't you?"
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"I'm between congregations."
"His sermon last Sunday, 'The Shall Inherit the Earth,' had them rolling in the aisles."
"This is an old, upper-middle-class white spiritual."
"No matter how badly you have sinned, you don't have to worry about losing your coverage!"
Two Jewish temples on a desert island: one advertises it's "Orthodox congregation" while the other advertises it's "Reform Congregation".
"Sheldon is having a mid-life crisis. He can't decide whether to remain Reform, become Orthodox or return to Conservative."
"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."
"Hey, man, you didn't have to mention me by name."
"It saddens me to think that so many of my customers are going to hell."