"It's Lyme disease again."
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, lyme, lyme disease, deer, reindeer, tick, ticks, deer tick, deer ticks, diagnosis, diagnoses, doctor, doctors, saint nick, saint nicholas, st. nick, st. nicholas, exposure, illness, illnesses, contagion, contagions, disease vector, disease vectors, transmission, disease transmission
"Look – now I've gone and caught your stupid disease!"
Tags:doctor, doctors, doctors surgery, doctors surgeries, exam room, examination room, medical examination, medical examinations, medical, gp, general practitioner, gps, general practitioners, family doctor, family doctors, disease, diseases, contagious, contagious disease, contagious diseases, contagion, infectious disease, infectious diseases, infectious, infection, bedside manner, bad bedside manner, unprofessional, unprofessional behavior, unprofessional behaviour,
"What do you say we get out of here and go someplace less contagious?"
Tags:contagion, contagions, contagious, clean freak, clean freaks, germ, germs, germaphobe, germaphobes, germaphobic, germophobia, germophobic, germophobe, germaphobia, bar, bars, unclean, pickup line, pickup lines, chat up, chats up, chatting up, chat up line, chat up lines, pick-up line, hit on, hits on, hitting on
"I'm warning you, I have a cold!"
Tags:cold, colds, influenza, knife crime, knife crimes, contagion, contagions, contagious, crimes, criminal, criminals, flu, germ, germs, contagious disease, contagious diseases, street crime, street crimes, thug, thugs, mugger, muggers, intimidation, germophobe, germophobes, germophobic, germophobics, germophobia, hypochondriac, hypochondriacs, hypochondria
Catch of the Day: Flu, Strep Throat, Cold, Hepatitis
Tags:catch of the day, catches of the day, contagious, contagion, cold, colds, catch a cold, catching a cold, strep, strep throat, flu, influenza, cold, colds, hepatitis, illness, illnesses, sick, sickness, sicknesses, infection, infections, disease, diseases, bacteria, hygiene, doctor's office, doctor's offices, patient, patients, menu, menus, restaurant, restaurants
The Day The Entire Kemple Family Had A Virus
"Sorry it took so long. I'm the only one without hepatitis."
Tags:hepatitis, hepatitis b, infection, infections, disease, diseases, contagion, contagions, contagious, contagious disease, contagious diseases, waiter, waiters, server, servers, restaurant staff, food hygiene, health and safety, health & safety, food safety, staff illness, staff illnesses, infectious disease, infectious diseases, food poisoning, chef, chefs, off-putting, unappetizing, unappetising, off putting, bodily fluids
Greetings from Hypochondria House
"The flu is coming! The flu is coming!"
Tags:bird flu, bird flues, flu, flues, flu season, influenza, flu strain, flu strains, chicken, chickens, barnyard, barnyards, barnyard animal, barnyard animals, chicken coop, chicken coops, outbreak, outbreaks, pandemic, pandemics, disease, diseases, disease transmission, contagious, contagion, contagions, chicken little
"I think we got all of it."
"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."
Tags:emotion, emotions, happy, happiness, miserable, grumpy, grumpiness, smiling, smile, smiles, frown, frowning, stranger, strangers, smiling at stranger, contagious, contagion, negative influence, negative influences, bad influence, bad influences, positive influence, positive influences, good influence, good influences
"I'm stepping out of line!"
Tags:author, authors, novelist, novelists, writer, writers, disease, diseases, pandemic, pandemics, plague, plagues, epidemic, epidemics, book signing, book signings, bookshop, bookshops, book shop, book shops, bestselling author, bestselling authors, contagion, contagions, apocalypse, apocalyptic, apocalyptic disease, contagious disease, contagious diseases, book, books, novel, novels
"Have you seen this bug? It's going around."
Tags:virus, viruses, bug, bugs, illness, illnesses, sick, sickness, sicknesses, ill, detective, detectives, investigate, investigator, investigators, infection, infections, biology, doctor, doctors, disease, diseases, missing person, missing persons, suspect, suspects, wanted poster, wanted posters, contagion, contagions, contagious
A therapist joins his patient on the couch.
"Of course, we got married in Italy in '59, so even though we have no symptoms our son in law thinks it's safest to cancel our annual family visit."
Tags:corona, coronavirus, corona virus, covid-19, flu, flus, virus, viruses, panic, panics, outbreak, outbreaks, epidemic, epidemics, pandemic, hysteria, mass hysteria, overreaction, overreactions, contagion, contagious, in laws, elderly parent, elderly parents, family, families, family visit, family visits, excuse, excuses
"Eric? You gave one to Eric?"
Tags:trump, trump, donald trump, president donald trump, president trump, trump family, melania trump, ivanka trump, donald trump jr., eric trump, face mask, face masks, corona, coronavirus, corona virus, virus, viruses, contagion, pandemic, pandemics, epidemic, epidemics, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, left out, excluded, forgotten, least favourite, favouritism
"You should only be worried if you never had it as a kid."
Tags:illness, ill, disease, diseases, communicable disease, communicable diseases, contagious, contagion, childhood disease, childhood, diseases, childhood illnesses, childhood illness, chickenpox, disfigure, disfigurement, deformed, deform, patronising, patronizing, patronise, patronize, bar, bars, pub, pubs
Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed
"Now watch his reaction when I cough on him."