Cat and Mice
"This is the worst witness-protection program I've ever been in."
Tags:prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, prison cell, prison cells, locked up, jail, jails, witness protection, witness protection scheme, witness protection schemes, in hiding, hide, hiding, disguise, disguises, costume, costumes, bad disguise, bad disguises, witness-protection, witness relocation, witness relocation, defendant, defendants, justice system, the justice system
"This is why I love yard sales."
"I'm droppin' all my 'G's for a while."
Tags:western, wild west, the wild west, cowboy, cowboys, accent, accents, regional accent, regional accents, regional dialect, regional dialects, lazy, laziness, dress-up, dress up, dressing up, costume, costumes, pretentious, pretension, pretentiousness, pretend, pretending, pretender, immature, immaturity, childish, childishness, modern life, cow boy, cow boys, westerns, spaghetti western, spaghetti westerns, drawl, drawling, drawls
"Trick or trample!"
Tags:halloween, hallowe'en, pumpkin, pumkins, trick or treat, trick or treating, trick or treater, trick or treaters, trample, trampling, trampled, witch, witches, giant, giants, mythical creature, mythical creatures, surprise, surprise, costume, costumes, halloween costume, halloween costumes, monster, monsters
"If I'd known shopping could be this easy, I would have dressed up as a cop ages ago!"
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, costume, costumes, dress up, dress-up, dressing up, dressed up, disguise, disguised, disguises, shopping, shopper, shoppers, impostor, impostors, parking, city life, urban life, modern life, modern times, shortcut, shortcuts, priorities, bad priorities, wrong priorities, city parking
"Can you keep a secret?"
Tags:frog, frogs, secret, secrets, disguise, disguises, in disguise, costume, costumes, undercover, undercover agent, undercover agents, the princess and the frog, undercover operation, undercover operations, undercover op, undercover ops, spy, spys, secret agent, secret agents, centaur, centaurs, keeping secret, secret keeper, secret keepers, centaur, centaurs
"Oh God. More condoms."
Tags:halloween, hallowe'en, halloween party, halloween parties, dress up, dressing up, dress-up, costume, costumes, party costume, party costumes, halloween costume, halloween costumes, condoms, gift bag, gift bags, party bag, party bags, safe sex, protection, use protection, using protection, safe-sex, insult, insults, insulted, assumption, assumptions, making assumptions, prejudge, prejudging, pre-judge, pre-judging
"Sorry. He's been cursing like that ever since we put him in that little sailor suit."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, baby, babies, clothes, clothing, baby clothes, baby clothing, costume, costumes, outfit, outfits, baby outfit, baby outfits, dress-up, dress up, sailor, sailors, sailor outfit, sailor outfits, sailor costume, sailor costumes, cursing, swearing, cussing, bad words, bad language, cursing like a sailor, cussing like a sailor, swearing like a sailor, idiom, idioms, expression, expressions, word play, wordplay
"By the time I was supposed to resume my hockey career, I had discovered ice dancing."
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, patron, patrons, customer, customers, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, alcoholic, liquor, booze, drunk, drunks, friendly drunks, life story, life stories, sport, sports, skating, skater, skaters, ice dancing, ice dancer, ice dancers, hockey, hockey player, hockey players, ice hockey, athlete, athletes, career, careers, injury, injuries, recovery, recovered, resume, continue, career change, career changes, fashion, costume, costume, fancy, dress-up, dress up, dressing up, discovered, discovery, passion, passions, passion project, passion projects
"Spare change for those unfortunate enough to have to walk around in a bird costume all day?"
Tags:spare, spare change, change, coins, coin, costume, costumed, chicken, chicken costume, chicken costumes, chicken suits, panhandler, panhandlers, mascot, mascots, chicken suit, beggar, alms, begging, pan-handling, pan-handler, capitalism, late stage capitalism, late-stage capitalism, capitalist, modern, modernity, modern life, working world, advertise, advertising, panhandling
"I can't seem to live in the present, so I'm opting for the future as I see it."
Tags:living in the moment, living for the moment, living in the present, living in the past, the future, future, futuristic, sci fi, sci-fi, science fiction, costume, costumes, dress up, dressing up, fancy dress, fancy dress costume, fancy dress costumes, fanboy, fanboys, literal interpretation, literal interpretations, literal minded, literal mindedness
"Can't you tell? I'm a depressed and angry white working-class male."
Tags:halloween, holiday, holidays, trick or trick, trick-or-treat, trick-or-treating, trick or treating, kid, kids, child, children, costume, costumes, fancy dress, candy, candies, sweets, sweet, decorations, decoration, white privilege, depression, depressed, bald, balding, middle age, middle aged, middle class, working class, men, man
"I'm North Korea. He's Iran."
Tags:halloween, halloweens, trick or treat, trick or treater, trick or treaters, trick or treating, trick-or-treat, trick-or-treating, trick-or-treater, trick-or-treaters, north korea, iran, foreign policy, costume, costumes, foreign policies, foreign threat, foreign threats, international politics, nuclear threat, nuclear threats
"There's something you haven't told me."
Tags:dinner, dinners, meal, meals, couple, couples, relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, secret, secrets, suspicious, hiding, strange, strange behavior, strange behaviors, strange behaviour, strange behaviours, acting strange, acting weird, husband, husbands, wife, wives, bear, bears, costume, costumes, dog, dogs
Chinese New Year
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."
Tags:costume, costumes, evil clown, evil clowns, party clown, party clowns, clown, clowns, comic performer, comic performers, slapstick, humour, humor, comedy, comedian, comedians, mime, mimes, edmund burke, triumph of evil, clown phobia, clown phobias, coulrophobia, coulrophobe, coulrophobic, coulrophobics, coulrophobes, fear of clowns
"What? A shawl is a kind of cape."
Tags:shawl, shawls, cape, capes, masculine, masculinity, superhero, superheroes, hero, heroes, heroic, dress, dresses, dress up, dresses up, dressing up, uniform, uniforms, costume, costumes, feminine, femininity, bully, bullies, bullying, attire, attired, disapprove, disapproves, disapproving, disapproval
1,001 Cheap Disguises
Tags:disguise, disguised, disguises, book, books, bad disguise, bad disguises, weirdo, weird, how-to, costume, costumes, fancy dress, park, parks, creep, creeps, creepy, hide, hidden, hiding, conceal, concealed, mask, camo, camouflage, masks, impersonate, impersonator, impersonators, impostor, impostors
"God, I hate theme dinners."
A superhero getting dressed in the morning.
"I'll find you some candy, but first tell me how you got past the Secret Service."
Tags:government, government, politics, politician, politicians, president, president, american president, american presidents, white house, united states, us, u.s., united states of america, usa, u.s.a., america, halloween, hallowe'en, all hallows eve, trick or treat, trick-or-treat, trick or treating, trick-or-treating, kids, kid, child, children, costume, costumes, dressed up, security, secret service, united states secret service, intruder, intruders, trespasser, trespassers, trespassing, security breach, security breaches, oval office, security failure, security failures, obama, barack obama, president obama
"All right, Miss Barcher, you can start sending them in one at a time."
Tags:christmas bonus, christmas bonuses, bonus, bonuses, cash, cash incentive, cash incentives, extra income, extra money, costume, costumes, dress up, dresses up, dressing up, manager, managers, boss, bosses, santa, santa claus, father christmas, holiday party, holiday parties, christmas party, christmas parties, ceo, ceos, executive, executives, abuse of power, abuses of power, abusing power, bonus check, bonus checks, bonus cheque, bonus cheques
"Did you say 'trick'? Maybe that's it.Maybe it's just been one long, horrible trick."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, halloween, hallowe'en, all hallows eve, trick or treat, trick-or-treat, trick-or-treating, trick or treating, costume, costumes, neighbour, neighbours, neighbor, neighbors, trick, tricks, mental health, psychology, psychological, philosophy, philosophical, depression, meaning of life, life, bad day
"Tuesday nights are Ed's Kabuki League bowl-offs."
Tags:hobby, hobbies, leisure, sport, sports, bowling, bowler, bowlers, bowl-off, bowl-offs, kabuki, theatre, theatres, theater, theaters, drama, japanese, japan, japanese culture, dance, dances, costume, costumes, fancy dress, makeup, relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses