"Up gets you nowhere."
Tags:desert, deserts, lost, crawl, crawls, crawling, survive, survives, survival, surviving, escape, escapes, escaping, run away, runs away, running away, supernatural, overheat, overheats, overheating, flee, flees, flees, fleeing, supernatural, fly, flies, flying, magical realism, help, seek help, seeks help, seeking help
"Don't worry—it's just a phase."
Tags:kid, kids, toddler, toddlers, crawling, crawl, crawls, crawler, abnormal, hyper, hype, phase, through a phase, super, power, powers, child, childhood, baby, babies, upside down, ceiling, mother, motherhood, mothers, mothering, mom, moms, mum, mums, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, kids these days
"Oh, love handles! We haven't had those in a while."
Tags:desert, deserts, sand, sand dunes, mirage, wasteland, lost, getting lost, cactus, cactuses, cacti, wilderness, vulture, vultures, carrion, bird, diet, diets, dieting, chub, chubby, heavy set, fat, fatter, fatness, love handles, love handle, spare tire, ironic, dark humour, dark humor, black humor, black humour, gallows humor, gallows humor, dead, death, crawl, crawling, cuisine, cuisines, exotic food, exotic foods, variety, variation, variations
"O.K., then, how about this? I bet you can't do this."
Tags:power, powers, superpower, superpowers, superhero, superheroes, challenge, challenges, challenging, pissing contest, pissing contests, drink, drinks, drinking, drunken, comic, comics, comic book, comic books, bad idea, ill-advised, crawl, crawls, crawling, gravity, defy, defies, defying, bad decision, bad decisions, poor decision, poor decisions
A doorman hails a taxing for a starving man in the desert.
Tags:desert, deserts, starve, starves, starving, starvation, doorman, doormen, door man, door men, mirage, mirages, servant, servants, entitled, entitlement, entitlements, crawl, crawls, crawling, desert road, desert roads, hail a cab, hails a cab, hailing a cab, cab, cabs, cabby, cabbies, taxi, taxis, taxicab, taxicabs
Tags:reversal, reverse, reversed, invert, inverted, inversion, subvert, subverted, subversion, spoof, parody, parodied, imagery, familiar, stereotype, stereotypes, desert, in the desert, hallucinate, hallucination, sand, sands, lost, stranded, suburb, suburbs, suburbia, suburban, urban, modern world, ecology, ecological, environmental, environmentalism, environmentalist, backyard, back yard, lizard, lizards, reptile, reptiles, climate, climates, crawl, crawling, situation, situational, situations
"Are they wet?"
"Batteries . . . batteries . . ."
Tags:desert, deserts, crawl, crawling, traveller, travellers, lost, man, men, dying, battery, batteries, consumerism, modern life, problem, problems, technology, music, portable music player, portable music players, portable audio player, portable audio players, mp3 player, mp3 players, device, devices, electronic, electronics, media, entertainment, headphone, headphones, portable radio, portable radios, radio, radios
"He talks the talk."
Honey I'm Home
Tags:sloth, sloths, slow moving, slow movers, crawl, crawling, honey i'm home, honey im home, return home, return home, going home, coming home, go home, come home, commute, commuting, commuter, commuters, short commute, short commute, couple, couples, arboreal mammal, arboreal mammals, slow, sleepy, tired, tiredness
"Fun Fact: 10,000 years ago, this was a lake!
"Flight 22 to J.F.K. Now boarding... Gate 46."
Tags:desert, deserts, stranded, abandon, abandoned, lost, lost in the desert, airport, airports, airport announcement, airport announcement, crawl, crawling, flight, flights, missed flight, missed flights, boarding, boarding gate, boarding gates, air travel, plane travel, late, lateness, wrong priorities, bad priorities, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes
"If I can crawl, you can circle."
Tags:vulture, bird of prey, vultures, bird of prey, lazy, laziness, inconsiderate, desert, desserts, circling vultures, scavenging, scavengers, scavenging birds of prey, condor, condors, apathetic, apathy, cutting corners, dehydration, dehydrated, lost in the desert, exhausted, exhaustion, crawl, crawling, lost, abandoned, abandonment, stranded, conserving energy, conserve energy, survival, survival techniques, carcass, carcass scavengers, decay, decaying, near death, starving, starvation, waiting for death, carrion, carrion eaters, carrion scavengers, circling, circling birds of prey
"Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, panicked, wondering if I'm crawling in the wrong direction."
Tags:nightmare, nightmares, recurring nightmare, recurring nightmares, recurring dream, recurring dreams, recur, recurs, stranded, lost, anxiety, anxieties, worry, worries, worrying, stress, stress dream, stress dreams, wrong direction, wrong directions, crawl, crawls, crawling, wrong direction, wrong directions, directionless, panic, panics, panicking, cliche, cliches, cartoon cliche, cartoon cliches
"Can't you just crawl? Must you slither?"
"What I mean, the cops in this town are tough!"
Tags:cop, cops, police, police officer, police officers, authoritarian, authoritarians, authority, authorities, dictator, dictators, dictatorship, dictatorships, strict, strictness, rule, rules, ruler, rulers, cross the street, crosses the street, crossing the streets, crawl, crawls, crawling, street, streets, law, laws, harsh law, subservient, subservience, underclass, working class, powerless
"It's a break!"
Tags:jailbreak, jailbreaks, nursery, nurseries, premature, baby, babies, infant, infants, maternity ward, maternity wards, breakout, breakouts, break out, breaks out, breaking out, escape, escapes, escaping, crawl, crawls, crawling, flee, flees, fleeing, guard, guards, guarding, hospital, hospitals, new parent, new parents, fear, fears
"It's his first day back at work."
Tags:monday, mondays, work, back to work, back at work, post-vacation blues, post-holiday blues, crawling, crawl, crawling through life, work life, job, jobs, hate my job, first day, first days, husband, husbands, partner, partner, wife, wives, businessman, businessmen, businessperson, businessperson
"Something terrible must have happened somewhere."
"I don't know about you, but I'd be willing to pitch in for a new contact lens."