"Up gets you nowhere."
Tags:desert, deserts, lost, crawl, crawls, crawling, survive, survives, survival, surviving, escape, escapes, escaping, run away, runs away, running away, supernatural, overheat, overheats, overheating, flee, flees, flees, fleeing, supernatural, fly, flies, flying, magical realism, help, seek help, seeks help, seeking help
"Don't worry—it's just a phase."
Tags:kid, kids, toddler, toddlers, crawling, crawl, crawls, crawler, abnormal, hyper, hype, phase, through a phase, super, power, powers, child, childhood, baby, babies, upside down, ceiling, mother, motherhood, mothers, mothering, mom, moms, mum, mums, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, kids these days
"Oh, love handles! We haven't had those in a while."
Tags:desert, deserts, sand, sand dunes, mirage, wasteland, lost, getting lost, cactus, cactuses, cacti, wilderness, vulture, vultures, carrion, bird, diet, diets, dieting, chub, chubby, heavy set, fat, fatter, fatness, love handles, love handle, spare tire, ironic, dark humour, dark humor, black humor, black humour, gallows humor, gallows humor, dead, death, crawl, crawling, cuisine, cuisines, exotic food, exotic foods, variety, variation, variations
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, baby, babies, infant, infants, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, sport, sports, tennis, player, players, playing, pairs, doubles, serving, passing, taking turns, yours, crawling, modern life
"O.K., then, how about this? I bet you can't do this."
Tags:power, powers, superpower, superpowers, superhero, superheroes, challenge, challenges, challenging, pissing contest, pissing contests, drink, drinks, drinking, drunken, comic, comics, comic book, comic books, bad idea, ill-advised, crawl, crawls, crawling, gravity, defy, defies, defying, bad decision, bad decisions, poor decision, poor decisions
A doorman hails a taxing for a starving man in the desert.
Tags:desert, deserts, starve, starves, starving, starvation, doorman, doormen, door man, door men, mirage, mirages, servant, servants, entitled, entitlement, entitlements, crawl, crawls, crawling, desert road, desert roads, hail a cab, hails a cab, hailing a cab, cab, cabs, cabby, cabbies, taxi, taxis, taxicab, taxicabs
"Drat! Someone stole my bike!"
A little boy is crawling through a sandbox towards his mother as though he were dying of thirst in a desert.
Tags:park, parks, playground, playgrounds, sandbox, sandboxes, desert, deserts, middle of nowhere, middle of the desert, lost, traveler, traveler, travellers, travellers, crawling, dying, thirst, thirsty, dehydrated, dehydration, kid, kids, child, children, playing, pretending, make-believe, pretend, acting, parent, parents, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, family, families
"Don't—they'll only make you thirstier."
"Hold up-I got sand in my shoe again."
Man crawling toward an oasis sees a sign reading "Mirage closed for private event".
Tags:desert, deserts, traveler, travelers, traveller, travellers, crawling, thirsty, starving, dying, oasis, mirage, mirages, club, clubs, restaurant, restaurants, bar, bars, pub, pubs, private club, private clubs, exclusive, event, events, private event, private events, closed off, closed to the public, closed, unavailable, bad day, unlucky, bad luck
"I'm going crazy staring at the same four legs."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, baby, babies, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, crawling, stare, staring, crazy, stuck, trapped, cabin fever, mental health, leg, legs, four walls, interior, interiors, expression, expressions, wordplay, word play
Tags:reversal, reverse, reversed, invert, inverted, inversion, subvert, subverted, subversion, spoof, parody, parodied, imagery, familiar, stereotype, stereotypes, desert, in the desert, hallucinate, hallucination, sand, sands, lost, stranded, suburb, suburbs, suburbia, suburban, urban, modern world, ecology, ecological, environmental, environmentalism, environmentalist, backyard, back yard, lizard, lizards, reptile, reptiles, climate, climates, crawl, crawling, situation, situational, situations
"Are they wet?"
"I'm liking it already!"
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, fish, evolution, evolutionary theory, theory of evolution, darwin, darwin's theory of evolution, biology, science, fish-out-of-water, fish out of water, water, sea, land, walking, crawling, transportation, fancy, vehicle, vehicles, limo, limos, limousine, limousines, chauffeur, chauffeurs, driver, drivers, privilege, privileges, privileges, benefit, benefits, perk, perks, fishing, fisherman, fishermen, angler, anglers, angling, sport, sports, hobby, hobbies, bait, trap, traps, trick, tricks, attractive
"Batteries . . . batteries . . ."
Tags:desert, deserts, crawl, crawling, traveller, travellers, lost, man, men, dying, battery, batteries, consumerism, modern life, problem, problems, technology, music, portable music player, portable music players, portable audio player, portable audio players, mp3 player, mp3 players, device, devices, electronic, electronics, media, entertainment, headphone, headphones, portable radio, portable radios, radio, radios
Tags:desert, deserts, middle of nowhere, middle of the desert, traveller, travellers, traveler, travelers, lost, stranded, crawling, starving, hungry, dying, thirst, hunger, animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, fish, fishbowl, fishbowls, goldfish, goldfish bowl, goldfish bowls, water, danger, dangerous, trouble, problem, problems, bad situation, bad situations
"He talks the talk."
Honey I'm Home
Tags:sloth, sloths, slow moving, slow movers, crawl, crawling, honey i'm home, honey im home, return home, return home, going home, coming home, go home, come home, commute, commuting, commuter, commuters, short commute, short commute, couple, couples, arboreal mammal, arboreal mammals, slow, sleepy, tired, tiredness
"Good news-they found water on the moon."
Tags:desert, deserts, middle of nowhere, traveller, travellers, traveler, travelers, survivor, survivors, thirsty, thirst, starvation, hungry, hunger, crawling, dying, good news, newspaper, newspapers, water, moon, water on the moon, science, found, discovered, discovery, scientific discovery, scientific discoveries, planet, planets, space, outer space, space travel, space exploration, solar system, exploring space, scientist, scientists, useless, unhelpful
"Fun Fact: 10,000 years ago, this was a lake!
"Everyone I know has a crazy long commute."
"And I thought we had problems."
Tags:desert, deserts, middle of the desert, middle of nowhere, traveler, travelers, traveller, travellers, crawling, dying, animal, animals, whale, whales, desertification, environmental destruction, environment, nature, global warming, climate change, beached, beached whale, beached whales, problem, problems, out-of-water, fish out of water, no water
"I wouldn't—there's an awful lot of scary-sounding legalese."
"Flight 22 to J.F.K. Now boarding... Gate 46."
Tags:desert, deserts, stranded, abandon, abandoned, lost, lost in the desert, airport, airports, airport announcement, airport announcement, crawl, crawling, flight, flights, missed flight, missed flights, boarding, boarding gate, boarding gates, air travel, plane travel, late, lateness, wrong priorities, bad priorities, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes