Crystallomancy Cartoons

"I'm getting your dear, departed husband—he can't believe you paid forty-five dollars for this."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"You will fall backward. But eventually you will spring ahead."

"Sorry—that's the screen saver."

"You will have a nice day."

"Your car is being hot-wired."

"Perhaps you'd like a second opinion?"

"I see a vague figure of someone groping...groping...groping..Yes, yes, it's coming in more clearly now! It seems to be—yes, it is a man! The man has a briefcase! And some papers! The man is an economist!"

"Being a psychic is hard. But I knew it would be hard."

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

"You had a great summer and you're going to have a great fall."

"Don't look so astonished. The crystal ball is not sacrosanct. For the professional a well maintained electric pencil sharpener is perfectly adequate."

"I've made contact with your mother. She says she hates what you're wearing."

"You were a schlub in all of your previous lives, too."

"You've got mail."