"On the one hand, eliminating the middleman would result in lower costs, increased sales, and greater consumer satisfaction; on the other hand, we're the middleman."
Tags:business, money, consumerism, boardroom, meetings, middleman, eliminate the middleman, executives, middlemen, middle man, middle men, lower cost, lower costs, lowering costs, consumer satisfaction, customer satisfaction, conflict of interest, conflicts of interest, middle manager, middle managers, interfere, interferes, interference, interfering, customer, customers, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, mankoff
"And should you retain us, Mr. Hodal, you'll find that we're more than just a law firm."
Tags:law firm, law firms, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, lawyer, lawyers, chef, chefs, client, clients, law company, law companies, sales pitch, sales pitches, cook, cooks, cooking skills, customer service, customer services, customer satisfaction, satisfied customer, satisfied customers
"I don't get paid enough to speak up."
"I want an aisle seat in no smoking, lots of fresh air, proper maintenance, no cracks in the fuselage - and none of your frigging bug spray!"
Tags:airport, airports, air travel, air travels, difficult customer, difficult customers, tricky customer, tricky customers, fussy customer, fussy customers, flight, flights, customer satisfaction, customer experience, customer experience, aisle seat, aisle seats, non-smoking, bug spray, big sprays, grump, grumpy, old lady, old ladies, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, pensioner, pensioners, old age, old-age
"What does your mother have to do to get a drink around here?"
Tags:barmen, barman, landlord, landlords, publican, publicans, bartender, bartenders, bar work, bar worker, bar workers, bar stool, bar stools, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, ignore, ignoring, drinks order, drinks orders, drink order, drink orders, customer service, customer satisfaction, customer services
"They're doing wonderful things with food I hate."
Tags:fancy restaurant, fancy restaurants, molecular gastronomy, cook, cooks, cooking, chef, chefs, restaurant, restaurants, dine out, dines out, dining out, eat out, eats out, eating out, preference, preferences, simple food, simple foods, meat and potatoes, picky, picky eater, picky eaters, respect, respects, respectful, compliment, compliments, backhanded, hated food, hated foods, least favorite food, least favorite foods, dislike, dislikes, disliking, snob, snobs, snobby, overpriced, customer satisfaction
West Side Saloon: 'Wow! What a Hangover!'
"She's asking if it's fresh-squeezed. Should I tell her to f**k off?"
How Is Your Pain Today?
"We are experiencing high call volume. Please do not hold."
"You're in group one, which will be the ninth group to board."
"Perhaps you're to blame for having unrealistic expectations."
"Although you've yet to try your water or even order an entree, how is everything?"
"There's a customer-satisfaction questionnaire for you to fill out and for us to not look at and immediately throw away."
"There, there, now! Perhaps I didn't give it a fair trial."
Tags:complaint, complaints, complaints department, complaints departments, returns policy, returns policies, returns, sympathy, customer service, customer services, customer experience, second chance, second chances, inconsolable, customer satisfaction, tantrum, tantrums, weeping, weepy, emotional, overly emotional, sensitive, sensitivity, taking things personally
"We are now jamming passengers into rows 24 through 36."
Your Tip So Far
A scene from the upcoming The Taking of Pelham 4-5-6.
Tags:mta, metro transportation authority, propaganda, propagandist, propagandists, public transport, public transit, mass transit, rapid transit, public transportation, satisfaction, customer satisfaction, satisfied, fantasy world, fantasy worlds, subway, subways, new york subway, new york subways, heist film, heist films, heist, heists, movie, movies
"I enjoyed the sauna very much, and may I say this is the friendliest bank in my whole business experience?"
"I've added eighteen percent to your bill because it's more than fifteen percent."
Tags:afterlife, afterlives, after-life, after-lives, customer service, customer services, customer experience, customer experiences, customer satisfaction, customer feedback, life experience, life experiences, reincarnation, reincarnations, reincarnated, lifestyle, lifestyles, meaning of life, fruit, fruits, life experience, life experiences
"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes, depending on how well we confuse you."
Tags:training recording, training recordings, training tape, training tapes, call centre, call centres, call center, call centers, helpline, helplines, help-line, help-lines, help line, help lines, customer service, customer services, customer satisfaction, customer experience, training purpose, training purposes, customer experience, customer experiences
"Book me, seat me, treat me bad."
Tags:airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flight, flights, passenger, passengers, customer service, customer services, customer satisfaction, airport, airports, air travel, customer experience, customer experiences, booking, bookings, unhappy customers, dissatisfied customer, dissatisfied customers
"This is customer support, or as we call it, the eighth circle of hell."