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"I'll take care of it impersonally."
"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"
"You have reached our 800 number. . . . If you are a preferred account, please dial B-I-G-S-H-O-T now. . . . If you are an ordinary account, dial J-O-E-B-L-O-W now. . . . If you have a service complaint, dial G-E-T-L-O-S-T now."
"Give me the number of the Snappy Pop Bang Cereal Company, please!"
"This is customer support, or as we call it, the eighth circle of hell."