Dad Cartoons

"I'm a social scientist, Michael. That means I can't explain electricity or anything like that, but if you ever want to know about people I'm your man."

"Do you have any picture books that could help a child understand tort reform?"

"Someday, son, this will all be yours—and underwater."

"All right, so I missed your soccer game. But didn't my assistant send you a lovely fruit basket?"

"Of course it's not my son. My son is a nitwit. That's me, thirty years ago."

"Don't make the same mistake I did and squander your years in the eighteen-to-thirty-four demographic."

"Thanks for almost everything, Dad."

"Of course there was sex and drugs when I was your age, but it was sex and drugs about ending the war."

"If your mother asks, we crossed at the corner."

"When it's over, I'll explain all the pop culture references you didn't get and you can explain all the pop culture references I didn't get."

Waldo's Parents

"It's kittens."

"For Father's Day, I'm giving my dad an hour of free tech support."

"You see, Thomas, there's a bully at Daddy's office."

"Dad, remember how you bungled the Lorton account?"

"Daddy doesn't know any magic tricks. Daddy knows accounting tricks."

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

"Now we'll need a sitter for New Year's Eve."

"He hums in his sleep."

"I'm sorry-his I.Q. is actually on the charts."

"Your mom cooks the chicken, but your dad makes it dance."

"Of course your daddy loves you. He's on Prozac - he loves everybody."

"When I was a boy, I had to walk five miles through the snow to change the channel."

"I can feel the baby kicking."

"You just march right back in there and keep marching around and around until he sees you're good enough to put back in the marching band."