"Take some identification with you in case you die."
Tags:dark, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, gallows humour, gallows humor, dead, deadpan, cycling, cycle, bicycle, bike, biking, bicycles, cyclist, cyclists, cyclist humor, cyclist humour, id, identification, identity, id card, proof of identity, old age, old, age, elderly, exercise, exercising, middle age, middle aged, middle ages, mid life crisis, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, death, dead, died, dying, die, marriage, married, married life
"Well, they certainly have brightened things up around here!"
"We'd like you to leave out the poorer, sickness, and death parts - they're a little dark."
Tags:vow, vows, marriage vow, marriage vows, personal vow, personal vows, marriage ceremony, marriage ceremonies, 'til death do us part, depressing, depression, depression, dark, sickness, wedding, weddings, bride, brides, groom, grooms, minister, ministers, request, requests, requesting, marriage vow, marriage vows, priest, priests, favor, favors, favour, favours, ask a favor, asking a favor
Lemonade Stand Selling 'Mom's Meds'
Tags:medical, medicine, medicines, drug, prescriptions, prescription, meds, medicare, obamacare, opiod, opiods, opiod addiction, pain pills, pain pill, lemonade stand, kid, kids, children, child, dark, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, gallows humour, gallows humor, dead, deadpan, social issues, social comment, social commentary, healthcare, health, healthy, health and wellbeing, wellbeing, critical, critic, critique, political, politics
"Mind if I turn my hearing aid down?"
Tags:firing, firing squad, gun, guns, death, deaths, dead, dying, died, kill, killed, firing line, execute, execution, executions, war, wars, military, militarise, militarism, militaristic, militia, militias, executioner, executioners, wall, capital, capital punishment, martial law, martial, violence, violence, late, lateness, tardy, tardiness, punctual, punctuality, dark, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, gallows humour, gallows humor, dead, deadpan, hearing, hearing aid, deaf, deafness
"If your guys aren't going to show, let's just call it a day."
Tags:firing, firing squad, gun, guns, death, deaths, dead, dying, died, kill, killed, firing line, execute, execution, executions, war, wars, military, militarise, militarism, militaristic, militia, militias, executioner, executioners, wall, capital, capital punishment, martial law, martial, violence, violence, late, lateness, tardy, tardiness, punctual, punctuality, dark, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, gallows humour, gallows humor, dead, deadpan
"And God called the light day."
The Fall Collection
Tags:fall, fall collection, fall collections, fashion, fashion sense, fashion senses, short day, short days, early evening, early evenings, changing of the seasons, seasonal change, seasonal changes, cold, dark, darkness, holiday season, holiday seasons, foreboding, sense of foreboding, impending, october, september, ritual, rituals, omen, omens, ominous
"No, you die first."
Tags:dead, death, dying, die, dies, died, love, loving, romance, romantic, play on words, word play, word-play, deathbed, death bed, last words, last word, dark, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, phone, phones, conversation, conversations, lovey dovey, lovey-dovey, gushing, gush, girl, girly, twist, twists, twisted, date, dates, dating, things we do for love, doomed love, extreme, extreme feelings, no you, no you hang up
A vampire with a darkness flashlight
The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open
Tags:sport, sports, golf, golfing, golfer, golfers, open, opens, competition, competitions, contest, contests, playing golf, sleep, insomnia, restless, wakefulness, unable to sleep, night, nighttime, dark, insomniac, insomniacs, night owl, night owls, health, old age, middle age, middle-age, middle-aged, middle aged, growing old, growing older, getting old, getting older, age, aging, ageing
"He does have a dark side but it's mostly his back and thighs."
"I always knew I could look behind the fridge, but I never stopped to ask if I should."
"You can cast a pall in there."
Shakespeare In The Dark
Tags:shakespeare, theatre, theater, stage, stages, stage show, stageshow, on stage, onstage, dark, in the dark, performing, performance, central, central park, summer, summertime, summer time, summer-time, mistake, mistaken, mistakes, bumble, bumbles, bumbling, lost, fumble, fumbling, play, plays, bookworm, book worm, bookworms, book worm, book, books, novel, novels, library, librarians, librarian, book lover, book lovers, literature, literary, lit, lit major, read, reading, avid reader, readers, reader, novel, novels
"It says, 'Someday you will die.'"
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, chinese restaurant, chinese restaurants, food, meal, meals, eating, dining, chinese food, eating out, dining out, end of the meal, fortune cookie, fortune cookies, fortune, fortunes, luck, paper fortune, paper fortunes, reading fortunes, future, prediction, predictions, prophecy, prophecies, accurate, realistic, bad luck, pessimistic, dire, dark, death, die, fortunetelling, fortune-telling
Emerging from darkness to light
"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."
Tags:coffee, coffee shop, cafe, friend, friends, friendship, friendships, emotion, emotions, confide, confides, cope, coping, coped, copes, trauma, traumatic, mental, mental health, shock, shocked, love, loving, care, caring, cared, anecdote, anecdotes, dark, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, girl, girls, women, woman
Man sitting at desk with burned out light bulb in thought balloon over his head; the sign on the door reads "California Energy Commission".
Tags:office, offices, office life, business, businessman, businessmen, electricity, energy, power, electric power, electrical power, blackout, blackouts, lightbulb, lightbulbs, light bulb, light bulbs, light bulb moment, lightbulb moment, thought bubble, thought bubbles, thought balloon, thought balloons, thinking, thought, thoughts, idea, ideas, california, califonia energy commission, commission, commissions, executive, executives, manager, managers, problem, problems, depletion, modern life, burnt out, burned out, off, turned off, dark, no idea, no ideas, out of ideas, energy problems, politics, government, governments, government official, government officials, bureaucracy
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, chinese restaurant, chinese restaurants, food, chinese food, chinese cuisine, meal, meals, eating, dining, eating out, dining out, fortune cookie, fortune cookies, fortune, fortunes, misfortune, luck, bad luck, paper fortune, paper fortunes, future, prediction, predictions, prophecy, prophecies, pessimistic, dire, dark, death, fortunetelling, fortune-telling, threat, threats, threatening, foreboding, superstition
"Apparently, nobody up there gives a crap that daylight-saving time is over."
"The weather looks a little iffy."
"I believe we've entered the dark underbelly of pet ownership."
"See? There's no monster in the corner—it's just a pile of old skulls."
Tags:bedtime, bedtimes, bed, beds, kid, kids, child, children, putting the kids to bed, putting the children to bed, night, nighttime, dark, scary, scared, afraid, fearful, anxious, nervous, monster, monsters, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, son, sons, skull, skulls, bones, bones, skeleton, skeletons, dead, creepy, corner, corners, eerie, frightening, disturbing, weird