Dates Cartoons

"General, your night vision goggles keep hitting my forehead."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I don't believe you know us well enough to call us the Fed."

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."

"I married for love. I divorced for money."

"The Monday movie will be back after the messages that follow the following messages."

"It'll never work—you're a moviegoer and I'm a film buff."

"That is incredible. Do you know that I, too, want as much as I can get as fast as I can get it?"

"I'm sorry, Edward. I suddenly realized I'm not a cat person."

"Do you know how masculine it is to risk crying?"

"And now may I bite your neck?"

"I've had those books for years. They represent the person I once aspired to be."

"Talk about heaven - eight francs to the buck and old Binky still a chiselled blonde."

Effective Catcalls

"Hi. I'm John, your date for this evening. I've brought my résumé and letters of recommendation."

"He's like a Bill Gates without a Microsoft."

The Emergence Of Language

"I converse. You declaim."

"No, I've never been to the Hamptons, but I have been in hellish traffic."

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"He's not much fun, but he's made entirely from recycled materials."

"Get lost!"

"He sounds like a papaya I bought that just went straight from green to rotten."

"When you asked me to dinner, I had an inkling it would be dinner theatre."

"Well, if you can't walk through walls this is where I say goodbye."